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The road is long, but improvement feels good

Posted , 15 users are following.

lee1111
lee1111

After what feels like a lifetime of side effects and then nothing, I think things are looking up. Had a great day today, and I haven't said that in a while, particularly on a Monday. I have counted hours, days and weeks. Like everyone else I have questioned my dose and the medication on many occasions and felt like giving up a million times. To everyone who encouraged me to keep going and give it time, thank you, because it does get better in its own good time. I have no doubt that there will be ups and downs to come, but hey, I think I'm going to make it! Yes it really has taken 20 mg this long to start to work on my head , so keep at it during the early weeks. I hope everyone is letting a little more light in every day. Lee.

3 likes, 50 replies

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  • katecogs
    katecogs lee1111

    Posted

    Hey Lee

    Thats great news!!  That seems to happen with a lot of people ....... time drags on and on and just about when you're ready to throw the towel in you turn that corner.  Similar happened to me this second time around - got over the side effects then just had a nothingness for months and months ...... then it started to lift.

    I knew it would happen.

    Yes expect some up and down times to come, but they should be fine and you know what to expect now.

    It really does take a long time doesn't it.

    Enjoy every minute 😄❤️xx

    K xx

    • lee1111
      lee1111 katecogs

      Posted

      Thank you Kate. I have no doubt that I still have many rivers to cross, but even small changes are worth celebrating 🌺🎉
  • dan74
    dan74 lee1111

    Posted

    Hi Lee

    Great to hear you're starting to feel the benefits of 20mg.  I've been on 20mg for nearly 7 weeks and although most of the side-effects have now passed, I am experiencing a lot of intrusive/negative thoughts.  I have attanded a number of CBT and mindfulness classes over the past 12 months and find it difficult to implement tachniques when the intrusive thoughts take over.  In the past week, I've tried to 'watch the thinker' and not judge or analyse my thoughts.  This worked really well but over the weekend, I became very irritable and tired...2 symptoms that indicate my anxiety levels are high and depression is not far away. I felt like giving up the medication until I read your post.  Thanks for sharing.

    • lee1111
      lee1111 dan74

      Posted

      Dan, hang in there. I was reassured 100 times that things would improve, and felt stuck in no mans land for ages. I am not a patient person by nature so this has been a very frustrating and challenging for me. Let the thoughts come and go as they will, and read and post a lot: Sharing my experience has been so helpful in healing, I have gained a lot of understanding and encouragement on very long and gloomy days. There is always someone here who grabs your hand and walks you through this, and relates to every step of the process. Keep at it Dan, and give it time. Take care. Lee.
    • dan74
      dan74 lee1111

      Posted

      Thanks Lee. I appreciate your kind words and encouragement. I'm due to become a Dad in the next 4 weeks but haven't been able to think about it for the last 6 months. Trapped in my own mind and find it difficult to find the words when speaking to family and those who haven't experienced mental illness. I know I shouldn't blame myself but I feel so angry that I've become ill. Being so up and down has pushed my partner to the brink. I've not supported her during the pregnancy and even though she doesn't blame me, it doesn't make things any easier. How on earth can I not be excited about becoming a Dad!! Feel better for joining this site and look forward to reading other positive stories like yours. Thanks again
    • lee1111
      lee1111 dan74

      Posted

      Dan, take it easy, you may be feeling a lot more ready in a months time. Congrats! A baby is exciting and daunting prospect. What you are doing now is a great step towards healing and being a super dad and husband. Don't be too hard on yourself, love your wife even though it's a lonely process, and it can be terribly frustrating for partners. You have many happy years ahead to enjoy your family. As you progress you will gain more self confidence and feel more capable of taking on the added responsibility. Good going, you are doing just fine! Lee.
    • don45258
      don45258 lee1111

      Posted

      Yupee Lee nice to here your on your way to recovery 😃👍🏿I'm not for behind you 💪🏿😃😃
  • john059
    john059 lee1111

    Posted

    Hi from Canada there Lee1111.  I just joined this site today and I must say that I'm so very happy I came across this thread(?). I've had a crappy go of it since last June and this has helped sooooo much. I have depression and anxiety.I had been taking Effexor and all of a sudden it quit working.  So I tried Bupropeon(?) and it didnt do anything for me.  So my doc put me on cit this past Jan and I think it may be working,  I did one week on 10 mg's and then was on 20mg's for 8 weeks.  After 5 weeks I was feeling pretty optamistic that it was working.  Then I got a cold and man did I feel it.  I thought I was screwed.  Really down in the dumps and having intrusive thoughts.  So I went to see my doc and he said that the 20's should have kicked in by now and he put me on 30 mg's, which I just  started on the 17th of March.  So this is day 3 and its the best day I have had in 2 weeks.  But reading some of the posts on here tells me that maybe I should have waited a bit longer as 8 weeks may not have been long enough for the meds to fully work.  However if the 30's work I can always go down to 20's.  Just super happy to be feeling better.  One thing that helps me also is exercising.  Anyways, here's hoping you are feeling good.     
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