There is light at the end of the tunnel

Lisa please don't go there it is a hideous medication you will have to go to the chemist every day and be supervised taking it but regardless it is so so much stronger even the drugs team said I shouldn't have been prescribed it

.11 years it took to wean down 3 detoxes and now the hell of the post acute withdrawal. I wouldn't wish it on anyone taper down your tablets subutex is evil

           one of the problems with multiple medications is A) you need to remove each one from the equation one at a time ( via reduction or detox ) and B)  the actual controlled reduction of each med ... for example since codeine( co-codamol ) has relatively similar effects to dihydrocodeine you would be reducing one opiate while still having another in your system....

           however gabapentin is the one you need to be careful with .... used for nerve pain its safe however if thats the reason your taking it i would consider you keep taking it as reducing that serves no purpose 

          personally ( and as tez stated ) i would think twice before taking subutex .... and as tez experienced once your one this your sort of forgotten and nine years down the line you could even be in the nightmare tez is in .and of course we dont want that 

         if i was your gp i would first 

1) if your on gabapentin for nerve pain ( or any other of its indicated used ) then stay on these ....however if not then reduction from gabapentin is normally 100mg every week ..... ( note : gabapentin is also helpful with opiate reduction or withdrawal ) 

2) consider and talk to the drugs team about a reduction ... this would be for example 10mg per week from each medication .. this gives your body the chance to adjust to less opiate in your system .... far safer and your not simply replacing one opiate for another 

         my recommendations come from years of experience in both opiate and alcohol dependance and withdrawal ....the drug services go on guidelines,which in my experience stink .....

         in summary just be careful what you decide to do lisa .... its a lonley place dependant on opiates ect ...but at the end of the day your the gatekeeper for your future ,so whatever you choose make sure its the one for you 

     please keep us updated and i wish you all the best 

         bri  XX 

Brian I have a question for you regarding pregablin versus gabapeton I was already on 300mg pregablin whilst on subutex now I'm off subutex is it worth trying to get my GP to up the dose or do you think a switch to gabapeton woulike be beneficial. Still not good not helped by having major dental work done and loosing another tooth overnight I'm sure this has been caused by the subutex but the drugs team as always disagree hope you are well x

        from a personal prespective switching similar meds serves no purpose,however thats me .... but you need to consider why you would switch from pregablin to gabapentin ..

      if its to make you feel better then i dont think gabapentin would do that .. and for one reason .... gabapentin has no anti-anxiety properties and is used primarily for nerve pain ( and rarely epilepsy ) ... however pregablin has a anti-anxiety indication and the NHS use this routinely as benzodiazepam,s are too addictive and ssri ant--depressants have more side effects ..

       your current 300mg dose is quite high and equates to approx 1700mg of gabapentin ( daily dose ) .... and you would probally experience some new side effects moving to gabapentin 

        another thing to remember is both pregablin but more so with gabapentin were originally used for epilepsy ... it was only later that doctors noticed it nueropathic pain killing properties and thus it was licensed for that purpose .... then patients taking pregablin noticed how relaxed they were and thus it was licensed for anxiety 

       personally i would stay on pregablin ... when i was on a lower dose of gabapentin i switched to pregablin .. it did relax me but its nueropathic ( nerve pain killing ) properties were not as good so i switced back to gabapentin 

       basically every patient is different and reacts to meds in different ways .. but my advice is stick with pregablin ... if anything slightly increase the dose ( with your gp,s permission ) ... granted gabapentin has its advantages but generally only with people like myself who suffer with nerve pain .... for yourself ( and i presume you dont have nerve pain ) pregablin is more suited ( mainly for its anti-anxiety effects ) 

       i hope this helps tez .... take are and stick with it 

          best wishes .. bri    XXX

Thanks Bri for the advice but guys had epic fail 😣😣😣😣woke up Saturday morning with excruciatingly toothache worse than childbirth and at back of my draw was a pack of 60mg codeine for the last 2 days I have took 4 didn't touch pain but wat the hell have i done I've flushed the rest so disgused with myself. I've gone paranoid and suicidal donth know where to turn release didnt ring me back the drug team not been in touch what do I do. Would i benefit from going to na oh such a mess I need help 😣😣😣

Hi tez 

       sorry to hear your not well .... the reason for the severe toothache is your body is 

a) without any opiates which its depended on for so long and 

b) the pain receptors in your brain dont produce as much endorphines which are the bodys natural painkilller 

        however the good news is opiates are pretty poor at releiving toothache ... your better off with a ibuprofen/caffiene tablet ( the caffeine allows the ibuprofen to work faster .... 400mg ( normally 2 tablets ) should take the edge of it .....also a water bottle in combination with the ibuprofen applied to the affected side will also help 

         what your experiencing is real pain .. something your brain has been starved of for 8 years ,since the buprenorphine in subutex kept any severe pain in check 

         remember what i said about the "opiate cushion"... well as i said this has been removed and pain.stress and anxiety is amplified .... in a way its like learning to live again ... its tough and there will be bad days ...

          dont be concerned with having to take the codeine ... you were taking it for pain ....however well done in flushing the rest away . this shows the will power you have 

          on top of the ibuprofen the pregablin should help .. its a nerve pain killer and nerves are what cause toothache ......

           many also recommend clove oil however it never worked on me but could with you 

          if you at your wits end consider going to a NHS walk in center .... these are at every hospital and are helpful 

       hope this helps tez and stay strong 

         bri XX

Still massively beating myself up for taking the codeine big time especially wen it wasn't helping the pain but was in agony. Still irratable and mood is dropping fast but knew this would happen just hope I'm strong enough to carry on after my first detox it got to the 6 month point I was begging my GP for ect he said they didn't perform it anymore but as they detox you in pyscharist centre I know they do am already on highest strength antidepressants so please please let me get through this difficult time. Thanks for all your help take care x

Tez.

Please don't beat yourself up over the codeine! Try to forget about it.

I cannot believe Release didn't ring you!!! They've always rung me when they said they would.

Please, please ring them again & tell them just how desperate you are & you really need help.

Stay strong you can do this!

Let me know what they say, if you get no joy, message me your real name etc & I will ring them myself to tell them how desperate you are!!

Ritchie xx

Bless you can you believe inclusion cambs still haven't been in touch since 12th June I text my worker today to see if there was a local na group she text back Google it .well shame on them for sticking someone with a box of nurofen plus a day codeine habit on enough subutex for a full blown heroin addict with no warning they are a crock of s**t who are going to be named and shamed

Did you get my message about ringing Release back again Tez?? Xx

Why do chat modsdo this when not putting anything wrong and yes I will ring release tomorrow and thankyou so much for your kindness I was saying earlier how inclusion haven't been in touch with me since 12th June I text my worker to ask her where the nearest na meeting was she replied Google it. This company put someone addicted to a pack of n plus a day on enough subutex for heavy h user without any warning professional till the end xx

That's good Tez please do Sweetheart!

I'm not sure why mods do that, so very annoying!!! Especially when they can't even be bothered to give a reason! Very RUDE!!!!!

That reply of "Google it" is disgusting & they need reporting!! Unbelievable!!!! So infuriating!!!! I'd swear but it would get deleted!

Chin up sweetheart!!!

Ritchie xx

I'm so cross with how inclusion have treated me it's been a month yet they left 12th June and even though I said I'm struggling offered no help telling me to Google it wtf .anyway you guys on here have given me amazing support so how's things going with you I've been selfish and keep making it all about me when you are going through your own hell. Have you started your complaint with pals yet? If so how's things developing also if you got the chance to tell your story on TV would you? I really want to get our stories out their somehow or form a support group no idea how but have started my book not coming along well as my concentration and memory is shocking but who knows big hugs and a lady called Claire from release is ringing me tomorrow I hope she does xx

That's brilliant Tez.

Claire is the same person that helped me & she was great! It will be the same Claire because there are only a few that do the work. And unlike the drug so called services she really cares!!!

Yes, I would go on tv about my problem just so it helps others so their lives don't get ruined.

I did speak to PALS & they have got me an appointment with the Pain clinic but not till end of November. Better than nothing!

Let me know how you get on with Claire. Good luck xx

          i would like to thank you for the input on this post ... you have been a great support to tez and you should be commended for that 

         as myself,you and tez know opioid dependence can be a lonely place and a forum like this is a channel to allow you to say what your feeling and maybe get some feedback which can help you through the tough journey 

          both me and you are both free of opioids however tez should be the focus at the moment ... she,s been through sheer hell and you have helped more than anyone to keep her going 

          so well done richie .. your input is much appreciated 

Bri,

Many thanks for your comment my friend but, seriously, there is no need, honestly but, thank you very much!!

I did it purely because I know, as I know you do also, exactly what our Tez is going through, and for those who haven't been where we have, it is worse than anyone could ever imagine.

I always said & made a promise to myself that, once I was free of Oxycontin, knowing just how many thousands of people this drug has killed or if it hasn't killed them, how many more thousands of lives this drug has totally destroyed, I would make it my life long goal to help others in that position that I, through no fault of my own, who has never touched an illegal drug in my life as I was so against drugs, would try to help people in the same position i found myself in.

For a company named Purdue Pharma to have been found $645million in lawsuits for blatantly lying about a deadly drug they claimed to be non addictive, for their sales reps to receive $250k pa in bonuses alone, speaks volumes as to exactly what this company is all about!! Sheer greed no matter the killing or destroying many thousands of lives that people don't get to hear about, I just wanted to make people aware to steer clear of these killers.

This company has the blood of very many thousands of people on its hands, yet they only get a fine that is a weeks revenue to them! Where is the justice?? This sad world we live in really has gone totally Crazy!!!!!

As in my case, not knowing what they were & having never heard of the word opiates before, I put full trust in my GP at the time to help with the agonising pain I was in 24/7 & also trusting it was ok to take more than 800mgs per day, when later realising that much less than that could actually kill someone really concerned me!

Thank you again my friend but, as I said, I just want to help people who find themselves in the position I was in, through no fault of their own, as I know exactly how so very very poor the drug services in this country really are. They don't care, they treat you like something they stepped in, because they just treat you as a druggie & as someone that doesn't matter at all. Which is so, so wrong.

Tez has been left to struggle by a service that is there to help her to get her life back, and to be told to "Google it" just brings tears to my eyes as they have obviously never experienced what this poor woman is going through & in my eyes, therefore should never, ever be doing that job in the first place!!!!

Thanks again for your comments Bri

Take care mate

Ritchie

Bless you Ritchie you are helping more than you ever know I will be eternally grateful 👍👍💕💕

What a lovely thing to say and yes his been a huge help and so too have you i can't thank you enough there's times I feel like giving up but can never go through this again I am struggling quite badly now but one day at a time xx thankyou so much you guys know what I'm going through you as you've been there that's the help I need thanks again 👍💕

Tomorrow is my 48th birthday today I feel suicidal my mood has crashed like a tonne of bricks feel like I'm going crazy please someone tell me is this normal it happened after my other detoxes but not as severe I'm scared I'm never going to get out of this i don't know what to do anymore 😣😣😣😣😣

I'm so sorry your 48th birthday won't be a good one but, I'm sure your 49th will be the very best when you're through all this.

Stay strong sweetheart, you're doing great & you will & are beating this!!!

Did Claire ring you? xx

Nope she didn't she only works Tues and Wednesday I'm gonna have to wait till Tuesday then ring I'm heading for a relapse this cannot happen after I complained about my inclusion worker texting Google it i got left a real snotty voicemail by another one my god the tone of her voice and no not ringing them back too little too late 😣😣

I forgot Claire only works Tuesday & Wednesday. So Sorry you have to wait yet again :-(

It's very sad how you're being treated by this so called drug service. It really is very wrong. No one should be treated like this.

I love animals & would never dream of treating an animal how you're being treated Tez. Yet somehow, they think it's acceptable to treat you this way!!!

If it was an animal being treated like this, there would be uproar!!

I've been where you are so I know exactly how you're feeling.

Just because you have an addiction you get treated like something worse than human & it's time it stopped.

The people who work in these positions should actually be human beings who actually care about the people they are there to help!

Far too often they are people who have never experienced what we've been through so shouldn't even be in that position when they tell someone who is so desperate to get their life back to "Google it" incredible!!!!!

The person who said this wants reporting as it just goes to show what a complete mess the drug services are in & how very little they care.

The best people to be doing these kinda jobs are the people who have been where Tez is right now & have some empathy towards her situation.

Hang in there Tez, each day is a step closer to getting your life back & regaining control.

Big hugs to you matey xx

You are one of the kindest people I have encountered you are being such a great help to me I really hope you know that x I would love to work in the addiction field as totally agree with everything you say. I certainly wouldn't detox someone forget them and reply Google it.These people don't deserve their jobs they are nothing but penpushers who have no idea what we go through. They have no respect no empathy and play god with our lives they

Oops sent early they need sacking I think I'm going to have to get pals to help me with the complaint as when complained before wen they kept not turning up for appointments and not even letting me know putting me on the whacking dose of subutex way too high with no warning 2 managers turned up to my face and just sugar coated all my questions if you know what I mean and telling me not to dwell on the past 11 years where I had been dosed up to the eyeballs treated like a heroin addict well how the hell would they like 11 years wiped off their life .Thanks for the birthday wishes I had a card from my son saying to the best mum ever it made me weep as look at the state I am in. Thankyou so much you are a diamond maybe one day we can meet and I can thankyou in person I live in a small town in Cambridgeshire oh and the nearest na meetings are 45 miles away I Googled it. ?🐶🌹

Your son sounds like he is a real credit to you & you should be very proud that you have raised such a caring young man who obviously loves his mum so very much xx

It would be good to meet one day to talk face to face to put, not the world to rights but, the so called drug service that treats everyone so much worse than animals!!

I too have driven for 45minutes only to be told my drug worker is on holiday & didn't let me know, even though I had an appointment.

I've also driven to the same place to be told my drug worker was off sick yet they didn't think to let me know.

The last one was seeing the main addiction psychiatrist, my dad drove me for 40 minutes to my appointment, to get a phone call as I was about to walk through the door, to be told he wasn't in today.

I remember saying to my dad, if I actually ran a business this way, I would go under in a month. So, so, SO VERY UNPROFFESIONAL that you could not run a business any worse if you actually tried too send it under!!

You will get ther Tez. Every day is one step closer. Keep going sweetheart you will beat this!!

Give your son a great big hug!!!

Ritchie xx

Thank you such kind words ? These drug workers don't view us as human beings with problems seems we are just a nuisance who they can't be bothered to contact. Yes every other business would go under with staff like this. I so wish they could be named and shamed and made to take their own medicine what a different story it would be then. I'm going to keep fighting I need to get well and want to help others ?

Good for you my mate!! 👍

You're exactly right, I thought it was just me when I first experienced it!! But sadly not, the drug service you use is exactly the same as I use!

You keep on fighting so can make a difference when you're able too. That's exactly what I would love to do xx

It's inclusion yes well they need to be replaced. I've experienced a very bad night and day it's so hard because my family keep saying you will be feeling better soon and I know from past experience this is not the case. It is so hard trying to explain i lasted 6 months after my first detox ended up suicidal begging my GP for help got put on a 4 month waiting list to see a shrink rest is history. If anyone is following this story i would like to point out that no 2 people are going to experience the same so do not want to scare anyone coming off subutex. Anyway Im not good i so hope Claire can help me my last resort then I don't know 😢

Hi tez 

      your spot on ... no one person will experience the same feelings,effects or mood when coming off subutex ( or any opiate for that matter ) .... our brains are unique and react to chemical changes and inbalances in different ways 

      im really hoping that claire can give you the help and advice you need .. sadly drug services are pretty poor these days and dont seem to care about the actual patient and more about the cost 

       drug service support is abysmal .. i finished on methadone on friday and on monday the drug worker phoned and said "you sound better" ( he thought that methadone would be out of me over the weekend ) .. then said " so are you happy for us to discharge you "... they cant wait to get you out the door

       as i stated your still in the post opiate wiithdrawal phase ... the feelings your having are your brain re-adjusting to being normal again ...and personally the anti-depressants your taking may be doing more harm than good.. your essentially forcing yourself to feel normal and happy ... granted im no shrink but post detox should be done naturally even if it initially makes you worse

    however whats working for you may not be the same for me ... but if your still feeling horrible even after taking anti-depressants then there obviously either A) the wrong type of anti-depressant or B) your brain simply does not require the medication 

    anyway good luck with claire .. and i wish you the best of luck 

     bri xx 

Same been discharged from inclusion but omg today I got up and well just fell apart haven't been able to walk my dog just feel I'm going crazy and been in bed all day I feel on the verge of relapse but i can't go down that path so just hiding away in my bed. Did you have days like this? ? I desperately want some help did you go to na meetings I can't afford to travel all that way every day but now I feel I can't cope I'm scared I look and feel terrible every noise is irrating me 😣😣

You will get there Tez.

I went to N.A. but, they frown upon people on methadone etc as they claim you're swapping one drug for another.

I really do hope Claire rings you Tuesday as she really did save my life! If she doesn't Ring, then please ring her! She really is worth her weight in Gold, I promise!!!

When you do eventually get to speak to her, please tell her that Paul in Ashbourne said hello!!

What Brian says is spot on!!

I was told last year by the addiction psychiatrist that if I wasn't off methadone, or, coming off it by April this year, then I would be forced to stop it because the policies of the drug services meant that they were no longer gonna support people addicted to prescription drugs, only people addicted to Heroin!!!!

I actually laughed at him and my words to him were, "so, if I cannot manage to come off, or, to reduce methadone by April, you will force me to go cold turkey as you will stop supplying my prescriptions for methadone & if that's the case & I cannot manage to stop or reduce it, unless I get addicted to heroin, I will be in a mess"

His reply, "well, I wouldn't tell you to go take heroin"

My reply was: "That's exactly what you're telling me to do, or I will be in a right mess"!!!!!!

Luckily I reduced my methadone by 55mils from 105 - 50mils which is where I am now & want to keep reducing.

And that's the state the drug services are in & no one who works for the drug services, in my opinion, or at least the ones ive experienced, give a damn about the ones who are suffering.

I don't understand how the people who work there, actually work there if they care about people.

Again, I've probably dealt with 6 or 7 up to now & not one give a damn!!

You'll get there Tez, you've come so very very far & done so very very well. I know you're suffering but you're now past the worst & each day will improve.

Keep it up, were all with you matey xx

Ritchie that's wat they said to me they will no longer deal with opiate addiction and I said the same so I have to go on herion to get help it's beyond belief and the reason I decided to get off this dam subutex. You say I'm past the worst which I am physically but past experience i was 6 months down the line and in a real mess mentally not functioning self harming they now say coming off subutex the effects can last 2 years all I know is today I've gone to pieces it terrifies me and I just don't know what to do 😣

Well yesterday I found out that hiding in bed all day is not the answer. I am literally having to force myself to do things i feel really angry that I could snap at any moment but have walked the dog and managed not to kill anyone and having a spring clean. Now I have made yet another complaint about inclusion we are through but all they had to offer me was a woman's alcoholic group which is ironic as I don't drink and how the hell would they know what coming off subutex is like. The top man who came to see me said it's not that bad and evidence is only coming to light that people are struggling so we all guinea pigs. Looks like I'm going to have to get through this with the brilliant help of you guys. I have strange thoughts about taking codeine on just the really bad days but know where it will lead. I wish I had the money for a month in rehab or some counselling or something but I haven't so will plod on.I sincerely apologise for posting such gloomy posts and my thoughts are with you Ritchie and your struggle and heartfelt thanks both to you bri and reg and yes I will relay that message on to Claire xx

You just cannot believe how theses "Professionals" that are there to help you, behave can you!!!

I've said this before but, I remember telling my Dad after the 3rd time he drove me to an appointment that they cancelled when i GOT there!!!, if you planned to run a business into the ground & send it bankrupt within a month, just hire these people & they'd take care of it for you.

I'm pretty sure the receivers would be in within 3wks ;-)

You moan as much as you want. That's what we're here for, we've all been there so we know what you're saying.

I remember the mental torture I went through. It's strange that I decided to come off the Oxycontin because of all the side effects & saying even though I couldn't explain it, that it had done something to my brain in a messed up kinda way. Yet it wasn't till I dropped down to 320mgs after tapering off it for weeks before, that I suddenly hit a brick wall & became suicidal etc. And haven't been able to get it together since. That was around a yr ago I think. I still can't get excited about anything or do anything that I used to enjoy doing. And I just don't know why!

I just don't want to do anything & have been this way since the taper from 1500mgs - 320mgs. I was fine during the taper till I hit that 320mgs like I said, it went pear shaped after that.

Do you want me to give you Claire's email address? With you saying you find it difficult at times to talk about it, I thought it may help if you email her today or tomorrow, so you can get it all down on paper so to speak, she can read through it when she gets to work Tuesday & also, it will be a reminder for her to ring you Tuesday?

What do you think? xx

Oh please that would be great thankyou and I know exactly what you mean when you say you hit a brick wall came suicidal and everything your saying like I've said before 6months after my first detox i was a suicidal wreck and mean a wreck i personally think the amount of subutex i was placed on and the length of time has done permanent damage I really do and I know the worst is yet to come. I have been trying to find a na meeting remotely near me 50 miles away but don't know if would help or not. I feel I don't fit in anywhere and I'm bloody lonely but seemed to have developed social anxiety I despair I really do. I wish I could get in touch with cathyn kemp would love to ask her about her recovery her book made me weep x big hugs to you 🌹🌹🌹

I got in touch with Cathryn.

I think it was through Facebook & I messaged her asking how she was etc.

She did reply but, because my memory is so bad I honestly cannot remember what she said now!! :-(

Anyway, here is Claire's email address. Good luck 👍 xx

Moderator comment: I have removed the email address as we do not publish these in the forums. If users wish to exchange contact details please use the Private Message service.

http://patient.uservoice.com/knowledgebase/articles/398331-private-messages

Sorry - I sent you the email address but it looks like it isn't allowed!??

I've messaged you the address. Let me know if you get it xx

Got the email address thanks and must be one of the few people in the world not on Facebook ha today not been too bad spent most of it on lilo in pool not properror pool just large paddler and even managed to do some reading but wen I have a good day it's normally folliwed by some bad I know this is going to be the case for a while to come so just day by day xx

Glad you got it, I just hope Claire rings you tomorrow.

If she hasn't rung you by 12, please ring them.

I know there are only a few of them there, so they must be extremely busy looking at how very very poor the drug services are today!!

I'm not on Facebook either, I deleted my account as I got so sick & tired of people posting really stupid childish stuff.

I've got a cold.

Oh no, I really hope your ok. If no better tomorrow go to hospital!!!!!!

It really is so pathetic, I got to the stage where I'd just had enough of all the premadonnas that didn't have a clue about REAL LIFE & thought they were so hard done to.

I actually posted on one once: "Grow up, Get a life & have a really good word with yourself. God help you & yours when REAL LIFE takes a hold of you" ;-)

Good luck tomorrow. Let me know if Claire rings please. Take care matey xx

Dear Moderator.

Thank you so much for letting me know why my post was edited & not deleted.

It's the first time I've been given the actual reason why a post was waiting to be looked into & for what reason! So, I thank you very much for that!!

Your reason does make sense, but, yet again, I thank you very very much for taking the time to explain why!!!

It does help when human moderators can communicate. So, thank you for being human & communicating!!!!! Thank you, it's the first time this has ever happened & hopefully not the last. But well done & thank you!!!!!!

Ritchie xxxxxxx

How are you today matey?

Has Claire rung you yet? Xx

Has Claire been in touch with you?

Ritchie xx

Not so good haven't been able to talk to Claire apparently she is not working this week I have written a email to her just hope she gets in touch as tbh I'm not feeling right my mood is very low and there's no help for me anywhere I'm donewith inclusion travelling 50 miles once a week to attend a na meeting when I've never touched illegal drugs seems pointless and bloody expensive no point going to my GP as all he says it takes time to recover and the mental health team refuse to see addicts until they havent used for 6months so just feeling a bit at breaking point. The start of the school holidays is nearly here I hope I don't crack up. I just feel useless and lost and all at Sea I don't fit in anywhere 😣x

Oh No Sweetheart I'm so very sorry!!!!

I cannot believe they've got your hopes up saying they'll ring you & then don't! It seems to be dragging on & on forever & you're getting no help at all off anyone!!! I'm really sorry! :-(

I know you're getting really really fed up with this now & I feel really bad they haven t been in touch with you, but, there is one other thing you can try.

Copy & paste that email you sent to Claire, delete the name Claire & replace it with dan. (Dan was also really great with me whenever Claire wasn't there & I needed help!)

Please re-send the email to Dan adding how very desperate you Are!!

Wait 15minutes then ring them & ask to speak to Dan! You can do this so PLEASE ring him xx

Oh............ & GOOD LUCK!!!!!! Xx

I just couldn't do it Ritchie my son was home and just couldn't bring myself to make the call. I'm pathetic I know am battling real strong urges to relapse but as I'm skint I can't but Tuesday I won't be in honestly don't know what to do 😣😣how do people get through this how x

You're not pathetic, you're going through a really bad time with no support from those who are there to, supposedly help you!!

If you feel able to, Just copy & paste the email to Dan & explain how very desperate you are as you're not getting any help at all from the drug services.

Whenever Claire wasn't there because she only works part time, Dan almost always spoke to me or replied to my email.

Even if you just email Dan & tell him you're struggling to cope & ask for some advice, I'm pretty sure he'll get back to you.

Chin up sweetheart xx

Thanks 😕😕😕😕😕xx you always offer support so grateful 👍🌼🌼🌼🌼

Well today I just wanted to say goodbye cruel world cause I' feel I can't go on can't relapse but can't feel like I do today. Thank goodness I rang release who were so understanding and are going to get me some help. Ritchie thankyou for giving me their number I've got to hang on and keep going. It's so so hard but I will ?😀

Lisa hi just wondered how you are getting on hope things are getting sorted 🌹🌹🌹

"Goodbye cruel world, you've beat me"!!!!!!!

The many times I've said that Tez & then snapped out of it & thought to myself, how can I leave my Beautiful Daughters with that evil person who is supposed to be their mum & who is supposed to be there for them & care about them!!!!!

Obviously she doesn't know & doesn't have a clue about what being a Parent means so, if I wasn't here anymore, who would they turn too???

The person who is supposed to be their mother????? What a joke that is & there is no way I'm leaving my Beautiful Daughters here in this cruel world to cope with their so called mother without me!!!!

That's when I snapped & realised I brought my girls into this horrible, hateful world, and it would make me an even worse parent than their so called mum if I left them to try to deal with her without me!!!

No way am I gonna put them through that. They've been through enough because of her, I'm not gonna let them suffer yet again!!!

Think of your loving son Tez, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't wanna leave him with that BULLY of a so called dad of his hey??

That's why you have to fight sweetheart, for your loving, brilliant son who is your whole world, just like my girls are mine matey!!!

We owe it to them!! Keep fighting xxxxx

I know and I couldn't do it their is no way that evil bully of a father is getting anywhere near my beautiful son but the feeling of fighting this alone with no bloody help was overwhelming. Thank goodness I picked up the phone to release all down to you your such a great help to me.can't believe that when the drug teams discharge a patient they get paid a big wad of cash **** well that cash should be paying for some specialist aftercare. I was on the phone for a hour and then Claire is going to ring me Tuesday. Thankyou so much I wish I could repay your kindness and help fullness some way. I honestly thought today I just couldn't go on. But I will I want to beat this just got to learn how to manage days like this. We both will keep going for the sake of our children but the world we live in now is just awful. Forever grateful 👍💖🌹🌼🌹

I'm so so pleased you picked the phone up & rang Release!!!

You don't have to thank me at all. Just the fact that Release have spoken to you & been able to help & give you some hope is all the thanks I need!!

I'm so so very pleased for you, onwards & upwards now, as Release will help you, not leave you in a mess & on your knees like the useless drug services who are there to supposedly help but don't give a F##k!!!!!

So pleased for you matey. That's made my day xx

Sadly I've gone downhill fast and can barely concentrate to post. It's the chronic depression driving me insane I'm already on antidepressants top whack so what else can be done. This triggered by major dental surgery another tooth out Monday has left me in agony plus I'm so upset about the loss of all these teeth i feel like I've been punched in the mouth. I don't know where this is going to all end up just 11 years on subutex has wrecked my life x

How are you feeling today?

Have you heard from Release at all? xx

Spoke to release Claire said hello back and although they can help me with a complaint against inclusion unfortunately where I live theirs no help /support groups unless I can travel 45 miles I can't. I have had a few relapse days on codeine which I'm appalled about am in agony after yet more dental work and got the most hellish depression. Wish I had something more positive to post but I don't where this we all end I don't know xx

That's not good you have to travel 45miles for support!!!

That's what's wrong with all this, we get put in this mess then are left to deal with it with no support at all.

How are you feeling today Tez? xx

I'm worried about you Tez,

How are you matey?

Ritchie xx

Will you let me know that your are ok please Tez.

I'm really worried about you!!!

Really hoping you & your son are ok my mate xx