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This is hard to understand.

Posted , 2 users are following.

rich32120
rich32120

I must have a weird personality or not one at all. Because since a kid i never could fully understand how people wake up and just go through life. Like listening to music, the clothes they wear, favorite car and so on. It seems so naturally for everyone to just enjoy things and not question it. For exAmple my brother use to listen to Lil Wayne and it blew my mind how he burned a variety of his songs on one disc, because I was like man he is smart with this. I know now that he looked into and did the work to find those songs. But for me when I research into anything it feels forced and i dont go into detail with it. It goes like that for everything like no matter what topic I look into it doesnt feel natural to me. I could blame it on my poor attention span and memory, Idk. I feel like I have no personality. I cant hold a conversation about anything because im ignorant to pretty much most things in life, but i cant force myself to like things or even act interested. So after a day of depressing and confusing thinking at work I go home to do,nothing. Because I dont even get enjoyment front my dog anymore, but once she is gone it will depress me. I dont understand anything about this at all. Its almost like my mind sets me up to feel. I started counseling and waiting on a psychiatrist at the moment. Family support isnt a real option because people dont know what to say. My mom has her own depression and issues so she cant help, and my brother just gets frustrated because he can just go through life and get the most out of a situation

1 like, 25 replies

25 Replies

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  • pistal666
    pistal666 rich32120

    Posted

    Things will get better and you will eventually find it easier to express your mind set the way you want.

     

    • rich32120
      rich32120 pistal666

      Posted

      I know man. Everything takes time. If its cool to ask, what brought you to this forum?
  • pistal666
    pistal666 rich32120

    Posted

    Have had depression from a young age, tried suicide a number of times, turnned to Drugs, but mostly drink as self medication. I took drugs but never really saw them as a problem. Ended up getting commited to a PSYC ward once or twice. Drink and depression were really up and down, I would become manic, hence the diagnosis of being Bi Polar. Came on here talking about meds. And it helps to throw a question out there if I'm feeling a bit inconclusive or just want others feed back. 
    • rich32120
      rich32120 pistal666

      Posted

      Dang, kinda feel bad for asking now. At least you got through drinking and what not. How is life for you these days?
  • pistal666
    pistal666 rich32120

    Posted

    Things are a lot better now, I'm currently getting qualifications to work as a drug/ Alcohol counciler. Don't feel bad for asking, I think it's made me better for It. You have to remember that everyones problems are relative to themselves, so what might not be a big problem for someone, may be a living hell for someone else, and vice versa. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If you feel like sh1t, then you need to do something about it.   
    • rich32120
      rich32120 pistal666

      Posted

      That's good to hear that man. Are you trying to "give back" since you went through addiction? Yeah for real.im still waiting on the same psychiatrist, about to try a new one.
  • pistal666
    pistal666 rich32120

    Posted

    Addiction seem to be something Im good at lol, so thought I could help may be, and its one job that you don't have to hide your past. I hope this psychiatrist helps you out mate. It is quite hard to explain exactly what you are feeling. You might find it helpful to write down a few key points before your next visit.
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