this stuff suckssss!!!

you sound like me really angry..I too have been on cit for 4 weeks now, and am still having to spend an hour preparing to leave the house...but i do it every day, rain or shine, cause at least i feel i have achieved something that way.

Im so used to buzzing around, full time job, 9 people under me...to this cant even get motivated to get dressed before lunch...

Ive been told the same, to stick with it...but im now running out of patience,sweating and dry mouth systems much the same as yours..im giving them one more week, thats another week off work ( 6 in total so far), I need to start seeing results if not im going to get worse i can feel it!

x

You seem to be having relatively mild side-effects from Citalopram-my own experienceit was a nightmare-loss of memory; not knowing where I was; feeling that I wasn't in my own home and muddled thinking. Also, to use another writers expression I felt \"crystal\" with other people.This user group was really helpful in showing that other people had problems taking the medication. So that encourage me to continue.

After about three months I suddenly started feeling happier; the side-effects have largely disappeared-although my memory and motivation are still weak. Certainly I feel a lot more robust with people.suddenly it seems to have been worthwhile.

The question that I would like answered is whether the severity of the side-effects is any indication of one's mental state? Or, is it like an allergy to penicillin, something peculiar to the individual which has no bearing on the therapeutic effect?

If these side effects are mild then please shoot me now!

I can't leave my house, I can barely talk to anyone, I don't sleep more than a couple of hours early in the morning. I find it harder to do things that I used to do occasionally, like leave the house. I feel no pleasure what so ever in doing anything AT ALL. I used to draw, paint, sculpt and make jewellery, none of that matters any more, I also used to enjoy meeting new people, and enjoyed going to events. It seems like the me that was once there has gone.

Saying this I have suffered with depression/anxiety since I can remember.

My parents both died when I was young (my mother when I was 14 and my Dad when I was 18) I spent a year of total darkness, I would not leave the room or let the light in I did not talk to anyone except my partner at the time and we decide that medical marijuana might work and it did, I used it for 3 years and it worked wonderfully, I could once again go out of the house! I could once again open the shutters and let light in to the house! I could talk to my friends again! I was back at work and pretty happy. when I stopped smoking (3 years on I still don't smoke) I was fine up until a about 4/6 months ago when I started to get really worried and having insanely bad panic attacks, thinking I was going to die! But at least there were a few good days where I could actually go outside, be able to look for work and do things that I enjoyed doing.

Citalopram seems to be nothing except a big black extremely heavy cloud constantly over my head, I really wish I could die, but I wont.

I'll carry on for another month and see what happens, if no positive results are shown, I'll see if the Dr can come up with something that suits me better, if not then I think I will seriously consider taking up marijuana again (at least for a while to see if it works again).

Makes me laugh knowing that I don't smoke weed to be a good law abiding citizen and I get put on to some pill that makes me want to die! Hm! Well we shall see what happens I might as well stick with it now and see if they do help, because I really want to get back to work and day to day living.

hey ya not alone ...bloody hell give ya self a break you have been through so much, and have survived uptill now....dont let it beat ya, i am trying to do one thing every day that i cant do today. Been out with a mate shopping today-havent been to retail for 6 weeks...initially thought i was gonna pass out, but i didnt, and have got back after giving the credit card a good bashing...this is my high...feel great, but will probably be back to 'dip' tomorrow. Have found taking the pill later at night much more beneficial...try it!

x

Hiya,

I have been on Cit for seven weeks now and I am feeling more human, and a bit better than I have felt in a long time. My crisis followed months of binge drinking and one occusion of taking cocaine, I too regard myself to be a 'Law abiding citizen' I am a professional and a mother. But after years of 'survivivng a childhood of abuse and the care system the early death of both parents (Dad he was 50 of alcohol abuse and Mum was 49 of lung cancer) the failed relationship of the father of my Son's a new marraige which has been to hell and back beacuse of my fear of intamcy and my own drinking I finally broke and admitted to being depressed.....At first I was angry with my GP and Citalopram, I hated the fact that it made me - in my eyes feel 'worse' than before, I had the dry mouth, no motivation, I did'nt leave the house for two weeks, did'nt wash, carried on 'secret' drinking, coul'dnt sleep, the sweating, loss of labedo (which still has'nt come back fully, but I am working on that!)

I then realised that how I was feeling was'nt so much the Cit but the effects of depression, and that made me feel like I had failed, given in like I had given up control of my life.

Quiet honestly now it was the best thing I did sticking with it and there were a handfull of people on this forum that helped and encourged me to stick with it.

I am back at work part time, I have joined a theatre group to persue a passion I had when I was younger (something I would never have done before now) I started seeing a counsellor on tuesday also and am determind to see it through, it's 50 minutes every week time for me to talk through the difficult things about myself and my life and to recognise and accept the good things about me and my life.

Another thing that worked better for me was taking Cit at night before I go to sleep rather than first thing in the morning, apart from the first couple of nights when I woke suddenly feeling panicky, I am now sleeping well and having nice dreams, although It is an effort waking and getting up I am doing it.

None of this is easy and it's only the beginning of a long and what will be sometimes a painful journey, I am starting to find joy in some really simple things, cooking with my 11 year old, joking around with my kids and paying my husband some much needed attention and love.

As for labedo, as I said I am working on it and have started to feel some 'familar' feelings again, try spending some of that time on your own first (if you get my drift) and try things that will 'stimulate' some of 'those' 'feelings' if you feel comfortable doing so....

I certainly do not have it all sorted, but even when I have wanted to go to that 'Dark' place somehow I hav'nt been able to - so perhaps that the Cit is working and doing what it is meant to do.

Hang on in there, please don't be so hard on yourself, and if this doesnt work for (coz it may not) talk to your GP and try something different, don't give up you have come this far and survived far worse, don't be embaressed or afraid, this is part of your journey, my journey and every-one else on this forum, you are not alone....

Good luck!

Love and hugs, Leanora x :wink:

I too take the medication at night 30mg...and have found I am not yawning all day now, and much more alert.

You are so right that you need to identify the side effects of the drug from the depression...when i googled depression a lot of the side effects are also there for depression, so im trying to look at it as that...the drugs helping, have to believe that. Can honestly say even if i wanted to cry...it just wont come! So im building on that,...had good day yesterday, only woke one last night, and have done the school run this morning (first time in 6 weeks)! Always feel like i have flu, but have started taking paracetamol, which i dont know if its mind over matter, also helps. Off for my hour long walk now, knowing i cant cry, I wont have a head ache, and will get rid of all the built up adrenalin, and feel better in an hour than i do now. Have also joined a yoga class that is on tonight, so thats todays challenge...to go on my own, talk to other people, and enjoy the session. Its all methodical, but this seems to help me, planning my days.

back to docs tomoz, and wondering if i should go back to work yet...frightened of crashing if its too early...

hope you all have a good day...be back lata on x

I've always taken them in the evening and am on my 7th week, I can honestly say it's isn't really helping, still feeling dizzy (even more so) and still haven't left the house, still I am trying to get myself into old hobbies such as jewellery making although I admit I haven't got any further than get the stuff out of the boxes and looked at every thing lined up and packed it away again. Hopefully this Citalopram will work eventually :?

havent been on the site for over a week now...why...cause i have been feeling much better. 7 weeks in and at last starting to feel like my old self again. The cure i found for not sleeping is nightnurse...knocks me out for 12 hours which is just what i needed.

Going back to work next week as a 'phased return' and looking forward too it! Have had 'bad days' ad panicked that i was going backwards, booked emergency appointments at the docs, and then realised its just a bad day. EVERYONE has bad days if there on citalapram or not...so see it as that.

My advise is to keep with the tablets..im on 30mg per day, which i take at night. Loads of advise has come through this site that i have used, but try not to dwell on some of the experiences, cause if found it made me worse some days.

Im gonna keep in touch on here as i found the majority of info very helpful..

take care