Thyroid is causing suicide thoughts. I can't take it.
Posted , 11 users are following.
I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism on May of 2015. It took them a while before finding out what it was. I was having severe headaches, nauseous, high blood pressure and a lot of hair fall! They put me in levothyroxine of 50mcg. It worked for a while. Last year on July 2016 I started feeling weak, fatigue. I couldn't get up to go to work. I felt depressed. I kept ignoring it since I thought it was just me not wanting to be there. I ended up quitting on January 2017. I couldn't take it anymore I felt so miserable and tired. Fast forward to May 2017 I started having headaches.... daily. Sometimes it will be so severe I just curled up in a ball and cry myself to sleep. I started loosing sleep. Became like a vampire. I didn't leave bed because iof my headaches. So I went to the doctor thinking it was my thyroid or iron? Nope. They did blood working telling me it wasn't that and my thyroid was "normal". Okay I kept thinking it's just me. I go back again complaining, they tell me it's anxiety and stress. I kept telling them no! It's my thyroid! They kept insisting no. My thyroid was normal. I ended up going to the ER at the end of June hoping to get a MRI..... instead they send me back home with the pain and told me to take over the counter medications. That my thyroid wasn't and that it was just stress, food or allergies. Crying to them it wasn't and I kept insisting for an MRI. They still sent me home with 0 medication or answers. My anxiety, sleep, depression took a toll on me. I cried myself to sleep. I decided to go try another doctor.... I think it got even worst. He gave me medicine to control my anxiety. When I kept insisting about my headaches. They weren't going away and I was loosing sleep, appetite, depression etc. He insisted it was ALL ME! I got feed up I didn't even bother with him anymore or any doctors. I decided to look for a specialist.... I have no insurance just county insurance which is not the best. I kept calling different ones... they all ranged from $210- $1,000. Where on earth can I can get that kind of money in a snap??? I stopped working because of my symptoms getting worst. I even dropped 3 college classes because I couldn't make it. Now I am dealing with stomach pain, right after I eat. Mild constipation, nausea, dizziness, pressure is high. Which today I went to my doctor and they freaked out when they saw my pressure high. They put on the oxygen tank and also keep me monitored. Which the doctor insisted on me going to the ER right away and getting it checked out by a cardiologist. Which I actually got tested and was monitored and the test came back normal. Plus, like I told her. The times I go to the ER complaining on what I have they ignore me and send me home??? I'm tired and exhausted of feeling like crap. Oh to make matters worst. I got sexually assaulted by the tech in the cardiology department when he unhooked the monitor. Something else to stress about. I'm done with life. My fiancé knows and doctor knows I want to commit suicide and stop this pain that is not letting me be. I'm supposed to get married July 2018. And instead of going crazy for the wedding. I'm going crazy in my own world and body. I'm exhausted. I'm even exhausted of people telling me to "not" think about it... when actually I'm feeling the pain 24/7. Explain to me how that works??? I'm just done.
1 like, 18 replies
jenessa18996 maria62647
Posted
I am so sorry to hear of your experiences and have been crying for you while reading and also crying for myself because they sound all too familiar. I have told many doctors over the last eight years that I am extremely fatigued and that my body always aches, along with a host of other symptoms and severe depression. Every doctor said I needed a better diet and to exercise more-- without even asking about my current diet or my exercise! Without addressing or even asking about my medical history. They did nothing except blame me, nothing to help, no one even told me what I should be eating. Finally I learned about Hashimoto's from a friend and it sounded like an answer so I asked my doctor to test for it and he said, "people always think it's the thyroid but it's never the thyroid."!!! What?!! Even though I have a history of hypothyroidism during pregnancies. Anyway, I found a naturopath and he ordered the tests and I do, in fact, have Hashimoto's, which explains so much. He has started me on an anti inflammatory diet where I eat vegetables, chicken, turkey, fish, lamb, nuts, seeds, beans, and up to 3 servings of fruit a day. No tomatoes, no gluten, no dairy, no potatoes, no sugars or sweeteners. I do this for three weeks or until I start feeling better and then I reintroduce foods back in to see if they make me sick again. I am telling you this in case it might be useful to you. He also has me taking a liquid dietary supplement called Turmero Active, vitamin D, Metacrin-DX for my liver (affected by the Hashimoto's), Oxicell-SE, and a nutrition shake called Clearvite with a bunch of B vitamins in it. All of the supplements are made by a company called Apex Energetics. I have heard that many people with Hashimoto's find relief by eating a gluten free diet and some also find it helpful to eliminate dairy and/or tomatoes. Or to just eat Paleo or to do what is called the "Auto Immune Protocol" or AIP. Maybe you could find some sort of functional medicine doctor with an affordable practice or a reasonable payment plan (different from a conventional doctor, whom I haven't had luck with). I hope and pray that you can find relief from these debilitating symptoms! You are not alone! And it is not your fault!
Tooterbug maria62647
Posted
Your life is hell on earth. I know. Been there did that. Nobody would listen. Finally got chalked up to a histrionic personality d/o, bipolar,....you name it.
I had asked and asked for thorough testing to be done. Nope. They even saw the nodules on my thyroid but nope. All of the symptoms were there, the surgeon who put two plates in my neck saw and put on his report I had a huge thyroid. My ENT cleaning the scar tissue from GERD, saw it too. He made a note. Neither told my PCP and I didn't know it for years and wouldn't have known except literally by accident got all of their reports sent to me from the hospital.
Finally, unable to keep my so depressed and anxious over the moon, crazy, cut my own throat, (literally,. Don't do that) depression under control. My pdoc put me on Cytomel off label for my depression.
BINGO MY MIND CAME BACK HOME!
My Lamictal and Keppra are off label use too to control my moods. I'm not recommending you do that as a medical person. I'm just saying that is what saved my life.
I have much much more indepth information but I wanted to get this on the board. I sent you a private message. If you'd like contact me. Your'e not really crazy but yes you are all at the same time and it's all over that dadgummed thyroid. They don't call it thyroid madness for nothing.