Thyroid nodule on scan?

And this is how it always goes!,,,,

I posted a long post that is being moderated for some reason and really it is off topic and I hope they delete. If it does get posted  then I apologise for it and actually regret posting it. I'm getting my therapy soon. I need to move on and accept everything but it's a difficult time as I'm sure yours is too. 

And I don't want my husband to be with me through pity. I am strong but having all these scares each one has taken its toll and I wouldn't want someone to be with me because they don't think I'm strong enough to be alone. I've been murder over the years. And I have going through my mind that it would make him look bad if he left me now going through this but on the other hand if it is anything serious I'll never completely know will I. It's important to me to know if he's here because he wants to be with me because he loves me. I should know by now shouldn't I but so much has changed me. 

If I have cancer would he be here because of that. I don't want to be pitied or someone with me through guilt. It's not fair on either of us is it. I know all too well. It's so hard. Let's hope I hear this week. Hope you get news today. 

How did you go on jenny?

Hope it went well yesterday. 

Hi jenny.

So you have 3 small nodules. I take it they are really small and obviously they look benign on the scan because they have a guide to follow, even though we are in the UK both American and the UK follow it, and if they looked suspicious they would biopsy. 

I know nodules are very common in everybody but with mine it graded as one whereby it needs a biopsy which I had and then I had another and both cannot tell. Mine isn't cystic at all. It's solid and has a blood flow and is over the thresholds in size. The next step as per the guidelines is take half out to be sure. 

I still haven't heard anything again. I don't know what they will suggest to be honest. My consultantv would have got me in for surgery but it was me that said I didn't want to know and thought there must be another way. I asked for the core so maybe they will do that or even send it back to the mdt team for all them to agree something. 

I've rang a few times but each time get told he's got my file and they aren't medically trained. 

My head is better a bit. I've been out with my daughter for a little while. I assume it's just anxiety and depression and stress. I know my husband wants to be there for me and assures me its because he loves me. I've allowed others that have said negative things to cloud my judgement. He's always here for me and me for him. I should just listen to him. He's a good man but I don't want to be this burden to him or anyone. We've had our bad times but we are still together. 

Just have to hope tomorrow brings some news ey. And glad you got yours sorted and they are keeping an eye on you,

Take care

Hi jenny. Glad you are truly happy. And good luck to your future too. It's the best years of your life raising kids. Mine are older and exploring their own  life now. 

I will be less anxious if I get good news too. But as I said earlier my cancer scare is not my reason for my anxiety and depression. Naturally it doesn't help and I do want to try to get happy if that's possible. 

I had some bad traumas in my life and being busy with my kids and husband and doing our house up has kept them hidden but I don't go out. In fact I would say my heads too messed up at the moment to interact with anyone at all, hence I need the therapy to let it all out. The cancer scare is just another worry lol but im sure it will be over soon enough. 

Depression is a killer too. Especially when you have no one to talk to and that's how I feel most of the time and I know that I have been very vulnerable in the past. I don't want to be vulnerable again but I do want to live life again. I really do.

You need to go away now and concentrate on your little ones. I wish you well in your future. 

I've had a letter. It's basically what I already know. It's that there is no change so they will do another scan in 6 month's. 

Wow from going from a nodule being found, the multidisciplinary team saying I need an urgent appointment, my biopsy coming back as not able to tell either way, my second biopsy came back not able to tell either way. My third scan showing no change and then to having another in 6 month's and being discharged maybe? It does say maybe as well.  So put through it all for nothing because nothing has changed. If I was needed to be seen urgent before because of my scan results and them all believing it may be a cancer and then now they suddenly believe it's not but nothing has changed. 

I can't get my head around our nhs and these two week wait things. Do they know what they do to people. Really know. Families. 

I suppose I'll just have to wait another 6 month's. Well it should be March then if it's 6 month's since the last one. I know they are really slow growing from what I read and reading on the other sites of people who had it. Now on to the mental therapy. 

6 months isn't long. It's nearly christmas lol. I wanted to speak to him though really to ask him this. My nodule is a U3 classification remember. 

It's a study done at a hospital in Birmingham I think.  It's says

RESULTS FROM THE STUDDY.

a total of 352 cases were included in this study. 141 (40%) USS guided aspirations in total were non diagnostic (like mine) .

A total of 133 (38%) cases underwent thyroid surgery to confirm the histology.

33 USS reports were demed benign being a U2. 2 (6%) later proved malignant on histology.

235 USS were reported indeterminate U3 (like mine) . 34 out of 84 (40%)  were then confirmed malignant.

This study was done between 2014 to 2016. 

It seems that the 20% likely hood is different to what the study says.  I just wanted to ask him. 

Is it 40% risk or 20% as he told me. It's double that according to the study. It's a bit scary but he must know what he's doing and would have encouraged me more towards the surgery if he believed it to be anything sinister at all.

Had he have said 40% in the beginning i may have thought again. I know the nhs doesn't have money to waste. I don't even work either at the moment. I don't want my stupid anxiety and depression to waste money doing something just because I'm a little anxious. I'm always anxious. I was also once told by someone after my last operation I had a few years ago that was angry at them for not operating on her husband that she thought would have saved him and unfortunately died.  

She made a comment that "they operate and those that don't work though". I am one of those that doesn't work. I felt awful but I have a husband and kids and they needed me.

 My own gp said to me that two non diagnostic results lessens the chance and I must admit I thought the same but we both have it wrong. It's a solid nodule and that makes a difference apparently and guides say it should come out. 

Like I say I have little trust.

You see my family (well not exactly my family here if you know what I mean but outside family) is such a mess and I have been blamed for so much it's unbelievable. I've been blamed for everything and I then started blaming myself too. I wanted to put it all right together but realise it can't be because I'm the one that doesn't want to now. I don't want my husband and his family split up because he sided with me but then again I really can't be their scapegoat anymore either. Maybe sometimes you have to take sides. 

I'm angry, sad, scared, every emotion going. I don't go out at all now . I learnt how cold people can be even my own flesh and blood. I can't change them. I can change me though. 

I want to fight if I have to and I don't want to leave this to be but I don't want to mess anyone else's life up either because I'm damaged. Lots blame my damage on me also but I feel some things were not my fault. I'm not suicidal though. I would NEVER take my own life. Im Just confused and feel a bit worthless so my therapy should help me make my decision. It won't harm being left a few months longer. 

I want to be here for the family I have here. I love them so much more than they could ever know. 

You need to be mentally strong to deal with something like this and what could be and I'm not at the moment. I'm not to blame for everything. I want to be strong because if you're meeting health issues like this you have to be. It's not quite over yet. I was stressed last time before my surgery. IF I have to have more I don't want the same thing happening. 

Hi jenny

I don't think it's that they think they are not cancerous. Nothing has changed and they thought they may be cancerous in the beginning so there must still be that possibility. Like I say they have done two non diagnostic biopsies. There is still the chance but I do know they have you in quick if the biopsy  shows signs too and then it's all go from there and my mental health has to be good because I have hypertension too. 

I had surgery before and was extremely stressed beforehand and I came out with stress related ramsay hunt. I was on 30 tablets a day. It was so painful. I was told my paralysis could be permanent too. It's better though thankfully because you can't hide your face. 

I'll just wait now. Like they say, it's slow growing anyway. 

And I only have a solitary nodule. A solid one, more blood flow than they would like to see and over the threshold in size and right next to the main artery that supplies blood to the brain. 

And I never thought it was cancer. I went with a simple boil to get lanced. It was found by accident.

I don't worry needlessly about my health. Every time I go the doctors I do have something that is nto somatic. My mental health is something else.