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Time to change!!

Posted , 10 users are following.

danielle84635
danielle84635

For the past 4yrs, I have begin drinking a lot more than I once did, more so the past yr. I drink 1-2 bottles of wine per evening and have fallen into the habbit of buying it and drinking it when maybe some times I'm not even sure I want it. I'm 34, got a lovely husband, two beautiful children, a lovely home etc but I'm a bit lonley and as stupid as it sounds, the wine is almost a familiar face - a friend. How sad is that?! I do have friends but I don't work as I can't find something to fit around the school hrs so spend a fair bit of time on my own and then look forward to that bottle of wine in the evening after a nice bath and the kids are in bed. 

I'm becoming more aware that im drinking more and fed up with it. I wake up feeling super tired, groggy and a bit crappy but put on my happy face and don't show it. Then, come lunch time I feel great and life just repeats itself! I want to be able to look forward to a drink as aposed to just opening a bottle, drinking it and it just being the norm. 

Thing is, when I do try go a day or two without it I feel a bit narky, almost like a spoilt brat who can't get her own way.

Any advice on how i can brave my first week?? 

Thanks for your help! smile

2 likes, 65 replies

65 Replies

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  • danielle84635
    danielle84635

    Posted

    Resisted the urge to buy from the shop, however - I have a corner shop literally 20 seconds from my house so the night is still young. Here's hoping! neutral

    • gwen45436
      gwen45436 danielle84635

      Posted

      Hi, I was on 1-2 bottles of wine a night.  Sleep or lack of is a problem for me.  But I am still down to 2 glasses a night Monday to Friday.  Saturday and Sunday, I have a bottle each night.  This has worked for me really well and I feel a big difference and can see it in my face also.  Meds is the only way for some but I am managing ok this way.  I want to also knock out Saturday/Sunday to 2 glasses. 

      I too can drink if bored - any excuse really, happy, sad, excited, the list goes on.  All you can do is try your best.  Bummer on the corner shop, but if you can resist you will be half way there.  Fingers crossed for you.

    • danielle84635
      danielle84635 gwen45436

      Posted

      Thank you for your reply gwen, much appreciated. 

      Yeah, I can see I am gaining weight and my face looks more puffy etc. I REALLY want to make a change to myself cos I can't say I feel that healthy right now and I do get a bit anxious so the two combined isn't the best recipe. I would love to be a social drinker so this is the ultimate goal for me. x

    • gwen45436
      gwen45436 danielle84635

      Posted

      Litle trick I do and have mentione before on here.  First off, I the tiny bottle of wine (2 units) each night - I also have a couple of squares of very dark chocolate(85% cocoa) - wine after that tastes awful.  Then I am ready for a glass of milk.  It is all about changing your mindset and habit of the evening.  At first hardish but then you get a sense of winning and it gets easier.
    • danielle84635
      danielle84635 gwen45436

      Posted

      What a great tip, I'll definitely try this!

      Me coming here is almost like I'm admitting I'm in a pickle. I tried AA 3 times but it made me feel so much more depressed about my situation, I couldn't relate to anyone at all.

      X

    • gwen45436
      gwen45436 danielle84635

      Posted

      No AA is not for me - but do have a go at reducing and making the alcohol taste bitter with choc - worth a go - I then find I look forward to a treat after my 2 glasses rather than more wine.  And you feel really pleased with yourself next day - puts a smile on your face.  Good luck smile
    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 danielle84635

      Posted

      i joined late but feel for you. Wine was always my best friend and consolaiton to be found but wait...where is the next bottle?? always hunting down that extra bottle. You have already had some great replies. Solution: less per week gradually! Robin
  • Thomas1234
    Thomas1234 danielle84635

    Posted

    Hi Danielle. I've been following the discussion. I notice you mentioned 1-2 bottles per evening which is quite a wide range. I use the Drinkaware app or the dashboard on their site to keep an accurate record of my drinking. I find it very helpful. One bottle per evening would put you in the 70 units per week range which is a higher risk to your health. If it is on the way to two per evening then you are in triple figures on units and there is a lot of health information on the net which would give you an incentive to cut down before you do yourself some damage. Of course that fear may not work for everyone but - pun intended - I do find it sobering. On warm summer evenings, a few glasses of chilled wine slips down way too easily and before I know it, a second bottle is open and my units comsumed is heading skywards. Are you managing any dry days? Instead of wine, try chocolate cake with ice cream. It's very difficult to hit the chardonnay after a bowl of that lol. When the units are coming down you can head to the weight watching forums (mind you, there are calories in booze which the Drinkaware site calculates for you too).

    • danielle84635
      danielle84635 Thomas1234

      Posted

      Hi Thomas!

      I drink 1-2 bottles of 13% prosecco, that's all I like really. I have bottles of spirits in the cupboard, lager etc but never touch them which I take as a good sign co if I was that addicted to alcohol, I'd go through that too. I dunno?!

      I have checked several websites and it all tells me that I'm drinking at dangerous levels and it does shock me and gets me down but the evening comes and I've forgotten.

      Mmmm chocolate cake sounds so good right now - need breakfast! Ha! I'm lucky that I'm not overweight, just gained an extra stone compared to how I normally look.

      Today is the day - I feel ready and positive!

      Hope you are ok!

    • Thomas1234
      Thomas1234 danielle84635

      Posted

      This kind of information may not help you personally but it is part of my approach to trying to keep myself in line. Your 1-2 bots Prosecco is 10-20 units but you probably knew that! It's around 700 calories a bottle so a couple of bottles is around your total needed daily intake of calories before you start eating! Your lower end per week at 70 units is my upper end and I find that depression starts to be a problem if I stay there for long. It then takes me at least a couple of dry days to get rid of the blues.

      On the dry days, I found it a big deal at first as I went weeks drinking every day (but probably a bit less than you). One tip is that I try and eat my evening meal early on if I'm on a dry day and I find that on a full stomach I rarely think about having a drink before bed.

  • Joanna-SMUKLtd
    Joanna-SMUKLtd danielle84635

    Posted

    Hi Danielle,

    For 4 years now, you have 'trained' your brain to expect alcohol.  This is the way we learn how to do anything - the pathways in the brain learn to recognise that alcohol gives it a chemical reward.  The particular pathway strengthens as a result, and starts to 'demand' that usual relief that it gets.

    I hope that you achieve a good reduction that you aim for, as it's really good that you have recognised that your drinking is currently putting your long-term health at risk.

    My best suggestion to you is that IF you find it too difficult, you don't leave this forum because you feel like you have somehow failed.

    If you are struggle to consistently keep your drinking down a bit, then this forum is a really, really great help because there are options out there that can help with your goal of reduced drinking.  I am not saying that you may need this help, because in my opinion everyone who is drinking too much should try cut down naturally in the first instance.  I am just saying that if you find yourself struggling then it doesn't mean you are a failure, it just means that the pathway that has been strengthened in your brain over the last 4 years is a little too strong and needs some additional help to weaken a bit.

    Good luck and please stick around!

     

    • danielle84635
      danielle84635 Joanna-SMUKLtd

      Posted

      Ahh thanks Joanna, I'm definitely sticking around. It's the first place I feel where others get the issue.

      Thanks for replying 🙂

    • gwen45436
      gwen45436 danielle84635

      Posted

      Knew you would get replies - try it the way I have first - it is quite eye opening how dropping bit by bit each night works.  I also find that it means I can't drink anywhere near as much as I could.  I now cannot imagine 2 bottles in a night - brain is saying - not again please - I want a quieter life.

      You are going to get there - I just know it.

      G.

    • gwen45436
      gwen45436 danielle84635

      Posted

      Pleasure - when I came on here several months ago, I felt like a miserable failure - hubs no prob with drinking made me feel even worse.  The back up I had from this site inspired me - and sometimes scared the pants off me with their honesty - but it was needed.  I have tried and failed in the past to lower my limit - but I can honestly say, coming on here has helped no end.  So far I am winning and seeing the changes, so is my hubs also.  If I fail in this then TSM will be my outlet to conquer once and for all.  I am stubborn though - and will do it on my own. 

      Lots of help you ha hun xx

    • gwen45436
      gwen45436

      Posted

      Soz, fingers too quick - lots of help for ya hun xx
    • danielle84635
      danielle84635 gwen45436

      Posted

      Well done, sounds like you are doing great! Mind over matter is a great thing xx
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