Tinnitus made me to think about suicide and gonna execute the same

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Dear all, 

This vast world consists of tons of doctors . But m ashamed about doctors , researchers and whom all related to medical field . Pls try finding solution for all diseases . Why till now there is no medicine for tinnitus and bell’s palsy. This both came to me at age of 28. How can I get married and how can I live in this f****g world. That’s decided to go away from this world . There is no god . If god s there he won’t play with me like this . From my birth god s playing . Took away my mom when I born . While studying school dad married other marriage . Lot of troubles for dress, food , etc,.... now became a position and decided to get married but this f^*^*g god happily gave me bell’s palsy and tinnitus . I can’t workout more . More enuf. Good bye everyone 

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  • Posted

    Hi kailash40667

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    Kindest regards

    Patient

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  • Posted

    Hi kailash40667

    It is morning where I live so I hope and pray you are ok.   I too suffer from tinnitus.   I started experiencing this just over 3 months ago.  Suffered a flu and sinus infection and started to hear a high pitched buzzing noise.  I had never even heard of tinnitus before.  And although we have national healthcare where I live there is such long wait times to see any specialist.  Been to medical clinics and family doctor who had referred me to an ENT and there is an 18 month wait to see one.   

    I do know the suffering you speak of and there are days my balance is off due to fullness in my ear that I have vertigo so bad I need to stay in bed all day.

    I am glad the forum moderator reached out to provide you assurances that there are people ready to listen if you just reach out.

    I am on another forum for cataracts (not sure why at a young age I am dealing with issues related to age) but I have found the cataract forum to be very supportive and helpful.  This one I have not been on much as the only answer is to learn to live with it.  Perhaps they are right but right now I am not ready to give up.

    I know tinnitus makes one feel alone, trapped, unable to hear silence (and now I have an extra appreciation for that saying silence is golden).  

    I pray someone comes along into your life that you have support.  

    You ask why God would make you suffer and give you this if He cared.   There are many things wrong in this world and I have often wondered about the question of evil and suffering.  True love though can only exist when there is choice.  I can’t make someone love me.  That is a choice.  If God made us robots and we had no choices would that be love.  The beauty of having children or a spouse or a family is that they choose to love.   Even if that means some choose not to love or worse inflict pain on others.  I do know that God does love you and despite whatever afflicts us he does care.  One day pain and suffering will disappear but in the meantime there is worth and meaning.

    The more I focus on my problems the worse that makes me feel.  Finding something or someone worthy to put your time and care into will make my problems seem less.

    I will pray for you today.   I hope you reach out to someone to talk to.  There are those that will care - sometimes you have to search for them but they are there.  Suffering alone brings us down dark paths.  Please do reach out to someone.

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  • Posted

    Hi Kailash, life isn't fair, I don't believe in any God, it's just hard luck you get what you get, I have tinnitus in both ears for over 20 years, but tinnitus is really a brain thing not ears, I also have Rheumatoid Arthritis and IBS, but there is people worse off, I try to see the cup half full not half empty.

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  • Posted

    Kailash,

    I too suffer from T. Almost 2 years. It's not easy. Some days I panic..but other days I just keep going..I do believe in God and I know He does love us. Free choice in our world has created many problems, sickness and disease..all part of repercussions in life. But know you can overcome T's debilitating clutches. You will find in time ways of dealing..also as far as bells palsy, my sister had that. It took a little time but she is back to normal now. She just kept going..and going..we got more strength than what we think sometimes..what we go thru makes us stronger, it really does..I hope you.soon see that with T there are some bad days but then some better.

    TAKE care, and keep you safe and sound...trust me, you do learn to habituate...

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    • Posted

      Terrie what do you do to cope with tinnitus.  I have had it for a few months.  Still thinking it has to do with flu and sinus issue I had in January and then I flew wnd of January.  Can’t see an ENT for 3 months - just the way it is with a national Medicare system.  Reading I have done makes me wonder if I have an ETD problem.   Thanks for any suggest you’d care to share.
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    • Posted

      Sue,

      My T started the day after I had a catscan. Not sure if that caused it or not. Major stress ovr a health issue, possibly. ENT said I had slight hearing loss so blamed it on tht..When it hit, I honestly thought I'd go mad. It took probably 6 mths to try and just roll with it. I keep a fan on at night to drown the sounds. I try to keep away from stress as much as possible, even stressful movies..and news..I have been diagnosed with ETD. I truly believe this has something to do with the T. I have noticed certain foods also set it off worse, dairy and chocolate. If I'm tired it's worse as well..but most days, I do ok. I try not to think about it and keep noises surrounding me..tv, fan, radio...a few times when I was highly stressed, it got so loud it drowned out voices around me..wow, that was scary..but I breathed deep and relaxed my body and it left leaving behind the usual pulsating g sound of crickets or more like the sound if cicadas..drink plenty of water for ears. Hold nose and blow gently till ears pop. My ent said to do this often throughout the day for etd. That seems to help all of it..hope something helps here..soon yr brain adapts and it does get better..wink

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    • Posted

      Thanks Terrie - this is most bizarre.  I wish I could get in sooner to ENT but there is 18 month wait.  We flew with another couple on vacation last January and one of them has had T since that flight too.    I still have fluid in my ears that won’t drain - despite steriod nasal spray.   I do have days it is quiet and earlier on thought I was cured but I seem to have good days and bad days where it is very loud.  Like you say when it’s very loud hard to hear other people.  Still hoping it will eventually go away.  I find if I wake up and it’s quiet it’s quiet for the day.  If I wake up and it’s loud it stays same pitch all day.  Can’t see that stress has anything to do with mine.   I just keep trying the Toynbee manoeuvre and blowing into my nose to pop ears doesn’t work well.     thanks for the advice.  It really is the most annoying thing.
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    • Posted

      Yes, it truly is and the sad thing is there is nothing we can do but deal with it..I am thankful for the good days..it's still there but doesn't scream out as bad. Yes, I do the toynbee as well. Does your pulsate? Mine does mostly but sometimes it's just straight cicada sound. I hate so bad we all suffer from this junk. I pray for a soon cure..

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    • Posted

      Thanks for that will add magnesium to the list.  I read Ginkgo biloba can helpntoo so take that and also drink 2 tablespoons of vinegar (with the mother) in a glass of water each day.   None of those are harmful so I try them.   Also boil water with Epsom salts and put a towel over my head and allow the steam to drift into my ear.

      Appears left ear is much worse.  Constant buzzing noise when it is loud.  On quieter days right ear seems normal but left ear will click occasionally- especially if I yawn.

      Yes really hope there is a cure for this some day.   

      The quiet days give me hope.  I sometimes wonder if the flu virus I had is making its way around my ear causing this.   There seems to be a pattern of 2 or 3 noisy days followed by quiet day.  This week I actually got 2 quiet days in a row. 

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    • Posted

      Wow, that's great! Iv never had a quiet day..have had low sound days bit never quiet..yours could very possibly go one day and not return. Do you journal at all 2 c if there seems to be a pattern of what you eat, take, stress level etc..would be curious to know if something sets it off..Have you ever taken flu shots? Did u have any dental wrk done right b4 T.? I had dental. I prob did not have flu tho. Been yrs since iv had that..Praise the Lord! I just wish I could pin point something..but u til then, I try to eat right, excercise, stress less and clear cut dairy and choc..but I do fail there on most all these from start of list...but hey, what little I do is better than nothing right? Lol

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    • Posted

      That is a good suggestion to journal.  As far as I know it seems to follow a pattern of 2 or 3 ver noisy days followed by a quiet day and then a day of half volume then back to really noisy for 2 or 3 days.

      This started after a viral flu followed by sinus congestion and then I had a long flight to Puerto Rico.   Funnily enough friends we were travelling with - one of them got tinnitus after our flight as well and he doesn’t have any quiet days.  Straight buzzing all the time- like a high tension wire.

      can’t help but think the virus is causing this.  18 years ago I had a bad viral sore throat (lasted 6 weeks) and the virus attacked my thyroid.  Took doctors and several trips to ER over several months for them to diagnose me with sub acute thyroiditis.   No cure.  Was on prednisone to deal with pain.  Went away after 18 months.   I seem prone to get a secondary issue after viruses.   Last summer had early cataracts and 2 surgeries which opthamologist said my prednisone use was likely the cause of the early cataracts.

      Guess one learns to deal with these things.  But with T not giving up that it’s will completely go away.  But because I havevwuiet days really hard to get accustomed to the noisy days.

      Thanks for listening.   Off to boil water and let the steam into my ears . And then apple cider vinegar and keep with the Toynbee exercises.   Hoping it helps eventually.

      Did you ever go on the nasal sprays? Y doctor has recommended I use those for several months along with decongestant pills.  I wonder at long term use of those are.

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    • Posted

      Yes, my ent had me on the generic if flonase..it helped me tremendously. But I got off after a few months due to weight gain. I try natural off and on which helps. Xlear is what I am using for now. Just strted back on it a few nights ago because of nose stopping up. Man, I tell ya, it's so crazy..my ears are constant. Cicada sounds but I like the description of electric wires as well to describe..seems most of time when I eat high salt or cheese and chocolate, it's worse

      Also whn I'm tired, stressed or aggravated..bam...I just roll with it..such crazy head stuff..I do toynbee as well. Seems to help..also I saw online where ya take the side if ears and pull them out while opening and closing yr mouth. Ugly to watch but really helps when iv got the full feeling in my ears..I have always dealt with sinuses but never realized to what extreme till this all hit. I have always wrinkled my nose often to open my nasal which always feel closed. Never thot much about it until I saw how clear I can breath with nasal sprays..winkI do journal and that's how I came to the conclusion of what makes mine worse. Let me know if ya decide to journal and come to any leads to causes of yoyr T's fluctuation....

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    • Posted

      Hi terrie27149

      So last 3 weeks been keeping a journal but for life of me cannot see a reason for me quiet days vs noisy tinnitus days.  Just came off a 3 day very noisy tinnitus bout. yesterday and today have been quiet.  When I get these days I wish and hope the tinnitus is gone but then I wake up one morning and it’s back like an unwelcome guest.

      My noisy days can last 2 to 4 days and are followed by shorter (anywhere from 1 to 3 days - but usually 1 or 2).  First time 3 quiet days in a row was long weekend away for daughter’s soccer tournament.  Crazy - hotel bed, eating out every day and lack of sleep.  And games that were close or final game with bias ref - should have driven tinnitus worse but it didn’t.

      So here is my new theory.  That virus I had may be a tracking my middle ear and depending on where it is l wads to tinnitus.  This wouldn’t be first time a virus attacked something else.  18 years ago I had a viral sore throat (lasted 6 weeks) and after that I started to have difficulty swallowing.  Always felt a lump in my throat.   ENT saw nothing and my 2nd visit to same ENT he said I was imagining it - quite rudely to me as well.

      My symptoms got gradually worse to the point of having pain in my neck and I could no longer turn my head without a lot of pain.  but it wasn’t a constant.  I had 3 trips to emergency when I felt these symptoms at their most severe.  On my 3rd trip to emergency they had me see a visiting doctor from USA whose specialty was internal medicine and he wanted to know about when I first experienced this so I told him about that long 6 week sore throat.  He sent me off to nuclear medicine for a scan as he thought the virus may be attacking my thyroid (which had been tested with a blood test but not test needed.  Anyways after that scan it was conclusive I had sub acute thyroiditis.   No cure - takes 6 months to 2 years to work it’s way out.  Was on prednisone for pain and that helped me manage.

      Long story to say that I already know viruses for me can mutate and attack something else.  With the thyroid everything went eventually back to normal.  But with tinnitus - not so sure.

      But having some quiet days keeps me sane.  When it is noisy all I do is hang on as I count on a quiet day coming.

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    • Posted

      Wow Sue. Thank you for the post. Bummer on not being able to pin point louder T. I do however, have changes that occur when I overdue caffein, salt or stress..I have no doubt. Too many instances to be coincidental. But...who knows..cuz problem is I can't give all that up..choc is my worse. T gets loud right afterward, but other things can take hours, sometimes bedrime. But when that happens I can usually pinpoint one of those items I ate or drank..crazy customers so.etudes I think cheese too..but maybe it is all coincidental I dnt know. I just pray to my Lord Jesus it soon goes away. So tired of NOISE NOISE NOISE! !!!Sure hope we can get a cure soon...thanks again for yr post..

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    • Posted

      I am probably living in a ‘hopeful’ state.   Really have a harder time wondering why wait times are so long here for an ENT.  Considering seeing if I can cross the border and pay to see someone.  But many post here seeing one hasn’t cured them.  Yes I have a faith to and pray that Jesus will either take it away or help me cope.  But it is awful not to hear silence.

      I hear you about giving up foods you like.  I try everything in moderation.   I wonder if I tried to give up those things if it would make a difference.  Might be something I consider for sure.

      Also dealing with cataract surgery not so long ago (due to eczema likely and those steriod creams - brought cataracts early).   My dad is in his 70s and so is my mom and they don’t have cataracts yet.  Hear I am dealing with that and tinnitus - feeling too old for my age.   But we all have our crosses to bear and makes us sympathetic to others going through same thing.

      Well my day and half of quieter times are over.  Just came back from my walk and tinnitus got noisy.  I thought exercise was supposed to decrease it!

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    • Posted

      Not to discourage you on the ENTs, but I saw 3 audiologists, 4 ENTs and a Tinnitus "expert" at Stanford.

      2 of the 3 audiologists said I was within normal hearing limits and gave me a 90% chance that my tinnitus would go away. This was 2 and a half years ago. It hasn't gone away. The 3rd audiologist said I was within normal hearing limits too but she tested me up to 20K hz (most only measure up to 8K) and she noticed my left ear (my problem ear) only reacted up to around 17K hz while my right ear was fine up to the 20K hz. She said I probably had hidden hearing loss and that was the cause of my tinnitus.

      All 4 ENTs I saw, saw my audiogram (the one that only measured up to 8K) and within a second claimed my tinnitus was due to mild hearing loss because one frequency was right at the 25 db mark and pretty much walked out of the room, they didn't even care to do other tests. Of the 4 ENTs I saw, 2 said they had tinnitus too.

      The tinnitus "expert" I saw in Stanford, he too said he had tinnitus and he didn't even care to see my audiograms. He said he didn't care why I had it, the point is I had it and all I could do is learn to cope with it. His only recommendation was to use white noise and classical music. 

      My doctor had me do an MRI, MRA and a sinus scan and everything came back normal.

      My dad's uncle is a doctor in Mexico. I talked to him and he recommended I take these pills, I forget the name to add oxygen to my ear or something like that, but they don't sell those pills in the United States. . 

      Lately, I feel my tinnitus has gotten better. I started taking blood pressure medication a few months ago, the pill I take is (bisoprolol fumarate and hydrochlorothiazide), includes a water pill. My doctor said the water pill might help with my tinnitus. The first few days I started taking it, my left ear and around it, it would shake, rumble and tingle. It has gotten better.

      What I also felt has helped me is eating better. I'm trying to lose weight so I just eat healthy and not that much and my tinnitus has gotten much, much better. 

       

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    • Posted

      Thanks - sounds like it could be a waste of money then for me to see an ENT across the border in USA.   my tinnitus came upon me after a viral flu / sinus problem in January.  Didn’t help that I also flew south shortly after the flu but still suffering sinus problem.  Can’t help but think it is related but perhaps once one has tinnitus it rarely goes away.   

      Seems a lot of silent sufferers out there and medical community not interested in finding out why or docs too busy with other more urgent issues.  My own doctor put me on nasal sprays as there is actually still fluid in my ears.  She thought an ENT would put tbes in to drain it but there is an 18 month wait to see one.   By then more damage could be done!

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    • Posted

      There is nothing that can be done for tinnitus sad to say. Eustachian tube dysfunction I just do the exercises I learned about on Google. My ENT said he could put tubes in my ears if I wanted but I'm not suffering that bad I have read some stuff about having all that done and still no help so I won't go that route unless it gets really really bad. I got my T the day after I had an CAT scan. And of course I was going through a lot of major stress worrying about the outcome of the CAT scan so I feel that it could have either been from the dye that they put in you for the CAT scan or from the stress waiting on the results of the CAT scan because I mean I was stressed. That is all I can figure

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    • Posted

      Dymaz,

      I too was diagnosed with slight hearing loss at the high pitch sound. Ent said would prob never notice it but yep, as you they wasn't I teredted in T aftr tht. Td me if T got so bad I couldn't bear it he'd fit me for a hearing aide..Seriously? No hope in medical field. Wr must document everything. Even one bite of something. Maybe I can try, again I said try, to give up first bread, then sugar, then caffein, then dairy and just c if it helps. Wonder how many days before your body has eliminated all of that to know like for example how many days do I give up Dairy before I would know. Dairy is a hard thing to give up I love my cheese. I'm not much overweight probably 15 lb but I truly believe that may would help also but I think like you just trying to eat healthy and do away with all the things that are man-made and not God made by Nature.

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