TKR & the affects on psychological health
Posted , 13 users are following.
One subject we haven't touched on yet is the impact TKR has on our mental health.
It can take away, even if temporarily, our independence & our dignity!
I must admit to feeling that I was a burden to my husband in the first month, probably, after TKR. I feel that for most women, who have worked all their lives, cared for the home & family, the robbing of independence is up there with the pain in making this recovery hard (dignity goes when you have babies!!). Yes it IS usually temporary but can last for a long time as we have heard. Post op depression is real, but tends to be pushed to one side. Should we be given more information & help to deal with the issues depression brings? In none of the literature I was given did it mention how I may FEEL in myself after TKR. Should it have been?
That isn't to say men don't find this hard too, but given the role women have in the home, as generally speaking the main carer for the family, it is hard to accept the role reversal.
Do you think women are more prone to feeling like this or are men, who are the 'hunter gatherers' usually hard at work all week, the ones who are more affected due to being unable to escape the home for the office?
Has this affected you? Or do you think it nonsense?
2 likes, 43 replies
martinarvelo marilyn10235
Posted
I think you are very right in that the loss of our independence and the loss of our ability to be the ones who usually run the home and care for others is very hard to come to terms with to begin with. Perhaps with younger people l, where roles are less clearly defined, this will cease to be quite so marked in the future as men tend to take on responsibilities in the home. I was lucky in taht we were able to have a young lady come in four times a week to give a hand which meants that washing, ironing, and some food preparation was done for me, but I realise that I was rather lucky in this respect. Even so, trying to load a dishwasher while juggling crutches, peeling potatoes with elbows on the worktop to support oneself. . . every little job seemed mammoth to begin with! I'm just not sure how much it would help to have information in advance. . .perhaps it would make us too darn scared to have th operaton! And of course, there are some people who don't suffer with the depression . . One thing I really wish they would change in most articles and leaflets is the expression "You will probably feel some discomfort after the operation" come on . . . DISCOMFORT????
Duckfan marilyn10235
Posted
Wow, great thread. I'm grateful that in the very early days, I'm 13 weeks now, I read Chico's post and was somewhat ready for the depression. It never really came and lasted. I found myself crying easily but it never lasted. I reminded myself of scriptures about being strong and courageous Joshua 1:9 and that fear doesn't come from God 2 Timothy 1:7. That and since I'm a Star Trek fan Captain Picard's words "enough of this self indulgement."
i, like Jan, have a special circumstance because my husband has Multiple Sclerosis. Our oldest son helped us at the hospital and our youngest son and daughter in law helped for the first two weeks. My husband is very independent and thought he could take it from there. I had to sit and watch him struggle with getting food, washing dishes, clothes, making the bed, feeding the cats. He wouldn't let me help and wouldn't let me call anyone in. Our church offered so many times, that was the hardest for me to take. I went from the role of caregiver to being taken care of in a blink of the eye. He finally let me hire one of our friends. She didn't want money but I knew if he thought we were "helping her" he would accept it. It's worked out well.
Im still struggling to force my husband into letting me be more independent. He would like for me just to sit where he knows I'm safe. He's afraid I'll fall. It's so hard when you get older, you're fragile. I keep telling him that I need to get out and walk and just recently he's acquiesced.
I'm trying to get off the tramadol now and that's not easy either. So much for it's not addictive, sure gives you a weird feeling in the head when you quit👎🏻
martinarvelo Duckfan
Posted
I'm in a similar situation as you with my husband having Parkinsons, and he won't let me out his sight! I think really he is rather scared of something happening to me, because he would not be able to cope on his own!
Duckfan martinarvelo
Posted
Exactly right. He's in a precarious situation.
lesley67451 marilyn10235
Posted
Wow you hit the nail right on the head , every thing you've said that's me. You must be my twin .
jan01779 marilyn10235
Posted
Hi Marilyn,
Depression can be normal post op for some people I hated relying on my husband for the first couple of weeks and to a lesser degree thereafter. Personally I was more down pre op and struggled so was pleased to get it done whatever.im not sure even if told it could prepare us for the emotional roller coaster and I admire those who go through it alone. My hubby is a brick.😚
The funny thing was In those first two weeks I was sooo emotional kept blubbing about being so lucky to put weight on it again and have a corrected deformity 😊😊😊. I was pathetic really but probably the medications didnt help. I think even men suffer from psychological probs if it's in your make up.if that's the way you are or the way surgery affects you. I did hate not being able to do the stuff as I liked it done and had regrai from being controlling lol!
In my hospital they did keep those who were alone at home in for a week as opposed to 3 days. They arranged care packages if needed.
Certainly my early on posts were a bit emotional and written through tears but wacked myself on the back and heard my mum's voice saying ' just get on with it.and did. Ups and downs and think I've been pretty lucky really.
Post up depression is thankfully usually transient. Not sure if any studies into it haven't looked but keep the threads coming 😊
Jan x
susiemah marilyn10235
Posted
I agree Marilyn it would be good to be prepared. I spent one day in hospital crying and can only imagine it was due to the general anesthetic and morphine. I was so sick. Coming home I had a few low days and cried easily. I feel less emotional now at 6 weeks but without this forum I would have felt very isolated. I do still have regrets that I didn't prepare better for the surgery and things do get me down after a bad nights sleep. I am in the UK and no mention of any post op symptoms before surgery so all a shock.