Today I made some jam
Posted , 7 users are following.
I am just over ten months into this glandular fever journey and today I made some jam, which I'm so proud of and is such a big achievement for me. In October 2017 I was three months into the virus and I decided I wanted to make some jam for my dad for Christmas. I asked my partner to buy the ingredients from the shops, and then I spent the next two months lying in bed thinking about making that jam, but unable to move my weary body into the kitchen and not having the strength to stand long enough to even get out the pots and utensils requires. The ingredients went off and I resigned myself to the virus and that I just couldnt do it. A week before Christmas I once again asked my partner to buy the ingredients and using all the energy I had, I chopped up most of the ingredients (I ran out of energy so I reduced the amount of fruit), boiled the jam and bottled it, relieved it was done and that I had a gift for dad that he'd love, but I was left feeling completely exhausted as a result. Then the virus once again reminded me that it was still very much in control- a few hours later I realised that the jam had not set, and I immediately started having a panic attack as a result. Before contracting glandular fever I had never experienced panic attacks before but in the last ten months I've had more than I can count. So my jam making attempt was a failure on many levels.
So back to today, six months later- this morning I decided I wanted to make that jam again for dad. I walked to the shops, I came home and chopped up all the ingredients (the right amount this time) and I am looking forward to giving this firmly set batch of jam to dad next time I see him. After making the jam I also did a load of washing, had a blood test and cleaned the kitchen. I still have plenty of energy to spare.
A long winded story I know, but I am just feeling so optimistic and elated after such a long time of feeling so awful. You too will get through this and you too will once again reclaim the healthy, capable 'you' that can do whatever they choose to do with their day, instead of lying in bed, hostage to this awful virus.
Wishing you a speedy recovery and many many good days ahead! 😊
4 likes, 22 replies
lisa29739 KS2017
Posted
I too am 10 months into this. And never before had panic attacks. They are so scary.
I have good days and bad days- although not as bad as it was last year. I hope this is a sign that I’m getting a hold on this virus. When I go into a bad patch (currently in one now) the muscle weakness and fatigue is so disheartening. It’s easy to forget any progress. Your story gives me hope!
KS2017 lisa29739
Posted
Hi Lisa, Sorry to hear you're having a bad day- i know just how disheartening it is when the bad days make a return. They make you forget all about the progress you've made and have you believing that you're right at the start again. That's not the case though. Our bodies have been fighting so hard and are so close to overcoming this virus once and for all! My entire ninth month was pretty average which is why I'm celebrating the good days I'm having now. 😀
kikisan KS2017
Posted
Thank you so much for sharing your story. Bravo on finally making that jam!!!...I am sure your dad will love it
I look forward to getting to the place of feeling accomplished...I am feeling so worried about all of my symptoms - it's hard to imagine that place...but I will try my best to stay positive.
Thank you for the speedy recovery wishes. x
Guest kikisan
Posted
kikisan Guest
Posted
Hi Tabitha!
I was just thinking of you - I think I pushed a bit too hard today. I went to a naturopath who spent 2 hours with me. At worst he didn't think I was crazy, at best he is giving me a protocol that will help reduce these two retched viruses that we both have. He wants to do this so as not to have the virus trigger autoimmune problem. The neuro symptoms that I have are very worrisome, but trying to believe it is just the virus and that this new regime that he's got me on will help. On Thurs he is giving me high doses of vitamin C, B12 and others through an IV drip. I will let you know how it goes!
I also met a woman though a mutual friend who got EBV when she was 47 in 2012. She didn't have all the funky neuro stuff that I have but she did say that it flattened her and it took 18 months to fully recover - but that she did!....SO good story.
Hang in there too Tabitha. Where are you? I am in Toronto, Canada....
bye for now,
Kiki
KS2017 kikisan
Posted
kikisan KS2017
Posted
Guest kikisan
Posted
I’m in the sunny state of South Carolina☀️
Guest KS2017
Posted
kikisan Guest
Posted
Good morning South Carolina
...YES to practicing self-love! I will let you know how the IV drip is going - hoping my body will thank me for it. You've inspired me to look into lymphatic massage here in Toronto and thinking of giving it a go too.
Bye for now!
Happy healing x
Kiki
craig07920 Guest
Posted
Hey Tabitha,
You're so right I don't think doctors really the impact they have when they readily dismiss someone's fears or worries, for anyone to say this is in your head is totally ridiculous and wrong and anyone who says that clearly hasn't been through this or doesn't understand how it affects you. Because it affects you emotionally doesn't mean to say that it's all in your head! Absolutely this is real Tabitha, and it's not your fault at all - it's a physical illness but you ARE going to get better from it, this is still the worst part you're going through, the harshest and most horrible period, but this will pass (I know it's hard to see or take comfort from that probably right now). I'm glad that the doctor you seen was more helpful and understanding and encouraging - it makes such a difference and I wish more were like that!!
Thinking of you all today and praying for good health and healing and still believing God is watching over this forum and is sending amazing blessings and healing to everyone who posts, maybe at different times for different folks, but standing in belief in that in Jesus' name.
Hoping for a good / settled day for everyone!
Craig
craig07920 kikisan
Posted
Craig
kikisan craig07920
Posted
Craig,
I've had a rough couple of days and am feeling like nothing I am doing is helping but yes, through it all I must remain positive. I have an ultrasound, IV drip therapy and doctor's consult today - full time job this virus is!...thinking of you and your back situation too. Have you tried an osteopath? When I lived in London I saw a good one - it might help you!
Thank YOU for your positive energy and marvelousness
....you are really providing comfort where there is so much uncertainty and pain.
Bye for now,
Kiki
craig07920 kikisan
Posted
Hey Kiki,
So sorry to hear you've had such a rough few days, goodness hoping things settle for the weekend it's so hard to remain positive I know. That was a lot you got through today, I hope you can rest now that is over and that the results / treatment can be of help.
I did see an osteopath before, but I'm going to see another osteopath type specialist tomorrow so hoping that might help in some way, hoping I can communicate things the right way and it's sometimes hard to explain all your issues in a short time space as you will know!
Thinking of you and still believing you are going to get there, even if it's not been such a good one today.
Craig
kikisan craig07920
Posted
Thank you so much for your limitless support. I need it more than ever...I work in Africa and the Caribbean and I was just told my my doctor that I have a positive serology test for the denge virus!...just when I thought dealing with EBV/CMV was a mountain to overcome now this
...in his email he said that it can be quite severe in the acute stage but that everyone recovers. It is still unclear to me when I had it. I need him to tell me whether he can determine if it was recent. In all my work abroad I have never been sick before so I think it was since January.....triple whammy!
I went for my vitamin drip today. I will continue with it and see how it goes....sigh
Kiki
craig07920 kikisan
Posted
Oh my Kiki,
I'm so sorry to hear that you got this terrible blow, I really hope this is something that they can treat well and quickly, no wonder you have been struggling so much if you have been dealing with mono and the denge virus too. I hope they can give some treatment for it Kiki I just want to really offer some hope remember that God knows everything He wants you well Kiki and has an amazing plan for you still, this is a rough time right now but I believe 100% that you are going to be healed from all these horrible viruses and once you get through this time you will be feeling liberated and strong and healthy again.
I can only imagine Kiki that right now it must seem all like too much to bare. I wish we understood better why such trials happen, only trusting that God knows why and that He is a good good God and never leaves us even though sometimes it is hard to see or feel His presence in the hardest moments.
Thinking about you Kiki and praying for you - do get lots of rest right now and be kind to yourself as you have been through so much, and if you can talk to someone you trust please do because it's so hard to deal with such things alone.
You ARE going to get better Kiki, I strongly and truly believe that. It might seem far right now but God is there working in you, i absolutely believe that.
Take care and remember one day at a time, don't look far ahead, coping with each day is enough for now.
Craig