tomorrow is day 13!

I so plan on it. Thank you so much

Thank you dear Tess

Yep Rach Friday is such a bad day for me too. Every Friday morning I leave the gym and it's the only day my husband doesn't collect me. I always tell myself I will not go and buy vodka but I always talk myself out of it. Don't take money to the gym I hear you say - that's something else I manage to talk myself out of. I know I'm pathetically weak but I will keep fighting. Well done you 😊 x

So proud of you Rachel. I know how you feel, my first weekend was hard. Not hard.but different just like I was missing something but I hung out with my family and before I knew it the thoughts left my mind. This will be my third weekend dry and now it's not even a thought, I swear I wake up and smile every morning, I'm so grateful I finally woke up and got away from this devil hold that was consuming my life. I'm always here if you need me, just know I truly believe in you Rachel and I know you can do it!!!!

You are not pathetically weak. Many times I've decided to not drink when I finish work but then, like you, talk myself out of it then beat myself up about caving in! This time I feel in a better mind set and it grows stronger each day although it doesn't mean I'm not anxious about the approaching weekend. I am on call Saturday so can't drink (& don't ever) so it's just Friday I need to get my head round. Am probably going to aim to go somewhere cos I can't drink if I'm driving and funnily enough, this never bothers me!

Good luck, you will get there!

Thankyou so much for your encouraging words and support Lori, I find it truly helpful. It keeps me hopeful that I can do this when I follow your progress.

I to hope that I will have the same success as you, thankyou Lori.

Rach x

Than drive around all weekend!  LOL.

You will Rach.... I just know you will. We will be smiling and sober together, with great appreciation for life without picking up a damn drink !!!

Thanks Rachel. I am seriously struggling at the moment and so full of hating myself right now 😞

Thanks Rachel. I am in a bad place right now but still fighting 😞 x

I hope so Rachel. I'm hopefully starting a detox on the 12 September if my bloods are okay. Right now I hate myself so much. I live 2 minutes away from a lake and it's not the first time I have been tempted to throw myself in and end it all. My husband would love it - he has told me so many times to just kill myself. Happy days - not 😞

Sounds like you should throw your husband in the lake!! 😝

Don't give up, you only have 10 more days to hang on til. Hold on to the thought that things will get better cos they will - don't give up on yourself.......nothing changes if, nothing changes! You can do this.

Much love x

I agree with Rachel! I'd throw him in too.

Hi numpty, 12th September is D Day.  To feel like you are (I have I must confess) and the lake issue is when you are really really down and desperate.  But you didn't.  Those are strong words off your husband and what goes around comes around.  Those words, personally for me, would stick with me and grate big time and I would vow to myself to get revenge.  By revenge I mean to change beyond what he thought I ever would or could.  I am detoxing  by myself, not for revenge but for myself and to prove I can do it alone.  You will succeed with the detox, you just have to listen to these guys on here and how they have conquered the nightmare scenarios they have been through and lived to tell the tale. 

I honestly thought about a month ago that because AA and the BB is not for ME ME - that I did not stand a chance and would die way before my time.  I thought that was my lot.  But now I know I will continue not giving in and if I feel I am slipping, I feel confident enough to openly say so on this forum for someone to give me a swift kick up the bottom and say ok so you slipped, well tomorrow is another day - no big deal.

Hold on to the 12th September - that is when life will change for the better.

Hugs to ya hunny.

G.

But Smile - revenge is sweet.  How does the saying go (well here in the UK anyway) Don't get mad - get even!!!!!    Rachel YOU CAN DO IT X

Rootin for ya babe.

Sorry that should say - Numpty YOU CAN DO IT.

Hi Gwen thank you for your encouragement. Yep I have decided that 'repairing' myself will be for me and not to please him. Maybe I will change and surprise myself when I discover sobriety!!! xx

I am so excited for you! I love that attitude! ☺☺☺

numpty, yes that is the attitude you need and you will feel empowered.

When I wake in the night not sweating ( albeit tired with little sleep) I still smile knowing that I have knocked it on the head again.  Then throughout the day it makes me smile that I didn't give in.  It is a GREAT feeling that I know you will achieve.  Go for it and show others just what you are made of x

Thank you lovely. I so want to be strong with this, but really worried my bloods will come back bad, which means the doctor at my recovery center will not prescribe me the benzodiazepines to start my detox. I won't find out the outcome until Tuesday - mega anxious and stressed does not cover how I feel right now

Thank you Gwen and thank you so much for your positivity. I am also in the UK and I am so much hoping that I get a good result on my bloods so I will be able to make a start on moving forward x

I would not be too worried - I have had a couple of 'iffy' blood results; the last one 10 months ago was even 'iffier' but that is all the more reason to get started.  Wonder what they will be in my next review which is coming up???!!! 

If your bloods are a bit off, impress on your doc your absolute desire to nail this and you need help NOW.  i did this and my doc caved in and gave me 28 days supply of Diaz (ironically, I am doing ok without taking any of them).

Absolute positive thoughts coming your way.  Sit quietly on your own, deep breath and ask the Universe to help you with this.  Keep asking until your appointment.  You will then bag it (hey if it works for Noel Edmonds, it can work for you - he is really into asking the Universe and claims absolute victory)x