Too scared to kill myself, how pathetic

Posted , 23 users are following.

That's it. I've had about all I can take from this miserable thing we call life. I'm sick of being depressed and having panic attacks.

I want to hang myself, don't ask me why that's my chosen method but it is but I have a death phobia so I'm too scared to do it and gave myself a panic attack instead.

That's irony in its finest form.

It's just not worth it anymore, nothing is.

My life's falling apart and I have absolutely zero will left to carry on this fight.

I'm done.

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  • Posted

    why would a beautiful girl like you want to kill yourself? there is much more to life. you just have to go out there and find it.
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  • Posted

    Are you on meds? Have you visited a psychiatrist?

    Do you know the root cause to your panic attacks?

    If you keep thinking like that and manifesting those thoughts in your head, it'll just get worse and worse. You need something to distract you and do something.

    Out of curiosity, do you have a partner? many friends? close family?

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  • Posted

    You are way to young and way to pretty to think about that. I will pray for a turn around for you. Give your life and your heart to the lord and he can help
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  • Posted

    My best friend took his life this way. Youd pass your pain into everyone who loves you, which isn't fair. You're letting your diagnosis win, instead of trying to fix it. Give yourself some time. When you look at one coming, just tell yourself "screw it, you're not ruining my day" sounds silly but sometimes it works. Surround yourself with happy people. People who care and understand. Getting yourself into a slump won't help anything. Maybe see a therapist or check yourself into the hospital sooner than later.
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  • Posted

    Please don't do it.

    My brother did it eleven years ago and my family's lives are in tatters because of it.

    You will find a way through - can you ring Samaritans or a mental health team?

    Has your doctor given you any medication?

    If you feel so awful - please go to A&E and they will have someone for you to talk to.

    x

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  • Posted

    dannie, you don't want to kill yourself, listen , why nit try a little longer, if yiu keep fighting and trying you might get there ( and you will get there) giving up lasts forever hun , no going back.

    I know how you feel I've been there my self, and I'm ok now , it's the illness talking , do NOT let it beat you its time to fight for your life do what ever it takes and tell your self you will do it, you have to dig deep deep down and talk to god ask him to show you the light. slowly that fog will lift a little I promise , walk in nature and see and talk to people , walk , lay in the sun, swim, this journey is about finding your self sweet heart , and millions of us go through this and come out stronger than ever.

    it's not all going to change tonight or tomorrow, but small steps at a time and you WILL see an improvement.

    are you on meds?

    how long and what dose if you are?

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  • Posted

    I find the fact that people are saying you're too pretty to kill yourself very strange and slightly demeaning, although I'm certain they were meant with the best of intentions.

    please don't hurt yourself. Listen to Lattifah7777, her advice is very very good. Anxiety and depression can be so cruel. I was in a coma after trying to kill myself last year. I'm glad now, that didn't die. My brother killed himself ten years ago, it devastates families.

    You are young, you can beat this thing and have a meaningful, happy life. You need help. Ask for help, take the help offered and follow lattifah7777s advice.

    Keep a hold on hope, don't give up on this life too soon.

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  • Posted

    Don't do it. There are people who love you and care about you.

    It is not worth it.

    Do you have a therapist or a counsellor or someone who is trained to help?

    What options have you tried?

    what haven't you tried?

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  • Posted

    As much as I appreciate all the responses, even the demeaning ones saying I'm too pretty to do it ??????

    Can I just ask what being pretty, in some people's opinion, has to do with emotions and depression? Like I'm just going to look atyself and realise I'm 'too pretty' to care?

    I know you meant well but really?

    Can I just say that I didn't write this do responses however, I wrote it because I had to vent how I was feeling because I'm too scared to tell anyone I know this is how I feel. They would think I was crazy or something or just attention seeking.

    In my heart I know I can't cope with all this, it gets so bad my brain has to switch off to cope sometimes. I hit such low points, like today, where it's all too unbearable and it feels like the world is just closing in on me and I need to escape.

    For those who asked I am on med's, venlafaxine 150mg and propranolol 80mg.

    They help to stop my panic attacks and some anxiety but the depression is getting worse.

    I don't see a therapist, I have exerstential death phobia, if you don't know what it is then please read up.

    I know I have people who love me and I love them back but that doesn't make a difference to how I'm feeling.

    I don't want to hurt them but I can't cope.

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    • Posted

      Have you read what exerstential death phobia is?

      If so then how do you expect a therapist to help me?

      Tell me it's not going to happen? Lessen my fear of my existence coming to an end? Tell me I'm overreacting?

      Because in all honesty I see absolutely no reason on this planet how anyone could help me not to fear my own death.

      I'm not religious, believe me I wish I were so I could let my fears go.

      So death, for me, is the end, nothing after that so PLEASE tell what I can do?

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    • Posted

      I know therapies help some people, I really do, I've been on this site for almost 3 years now when I started my med's, I know they can change your way of thinking and help develop techniques to help you cope but I really do struggle to see how someone can help me over something not a single living living creature on this earth can stop or avoid.

      I know it''s going to happen some day and it really does terrify me to my soul.

      I hope you don't think I'm being ungrateful for the advice or that I'm not taking it on board, I really am, but I've turned into a pessimist over the years of continuous panic attacks and I really was an optimist all the time!

      I guess if I struggle to see how someone is going to help me for myself then I tend to have trouble holding any faith in it which puts me off asking for help.

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    • Posted

      Hi Dannie, 

      I understand what existential death phobia is. I was absolutely consumed with it at one time. There was a terror vibration that ran through every single moment of my life. It was soul destroying, it was genuine torment.

      I stumbled on something that helped me. It changed my life. I still suffer with a heightened sense of anxiety and I suffer with depression.

      The thing that helped me is something quite strange but I've subsequently discovered that it was used in the 50s and 60s to treat existential death phobia and it still is in places like America and some European nations. I don't want to mention it here because it is somewhat controversial. But it works! It's worked for hundreds of people over the years. If you are interested I can send you a private message.

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    • Posted

      hi dannie

      i now you said your not religious.

      a lot of people are not and that is fine for them and me.

      I'm not going to preach my religion and beliefs to you, but the question that all depressed people have , is actualy the biggest question that science and no one can answer with proof, and that is , What is the point in living? why is all this here if at the end we are all going to die anyway? .why can no one make me better?

      these answers you will.find in the Bible the quran and the Torra , the world is her and it was made for a reason and it will end for.a reason , we are.here for a reason and all the answers to those questions all come to god and I feel you need to accept god as your creator of you and your destiny , he can do anything he wants , and can make yiu strong and we'll, as he just wants to hear from you.

      I'm sorry this is a very religious advice, but what else can you try if you feel suicidal! !

      pray dannie look for.the truth talk.to god ask him to show you the light and make you well, ask him day and night, and look.for.the right religion that works for you, it's all the same anyway in regards to one God. obviously I belive only one is the correct.wayband the way you will.gwy a response.

      the mind is so so poweeful , we can do anything.

      God bless you hun and plz plz try, never give up EVER no matter what you feel, it's dam hard I know.but make sure.you give this a good shot and let us know how you get on.

      love lattifaxx

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    • Posted

      Have you checked if your meds cause suicidal thoughts?

      I doubt your friends or family would think you're crazy if you expressed your feelings to them. I'm sure they would take this extremely serious and try to help. If it helps any, all of my friends think I'm totally insane because I'm always making them check my heartrate and compare mine to theirs.. I have no shame! Lol

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    • Posted

      Hi Jack, if you could private message me and tell me how you did it I'd be very great full.

      I didn't know people had ever gotten over it before.

      That brings me a little hope

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    • Posted

      Dannie I also suffer from phobia of dead it consumes you and takes you to a point where sometimes you want to take your own life because the fear has tooken over your very being and your mind its hard to live with this phobia everyday is a fight I'm with you on this one

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    • Posted

      jp1992 I hope all is well it's been 3 years and you do not respond to messages I've sent quite a few. please let me know you are alright. please ... God Bless

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