Trying and failing to lose weight
Posted , 8 users are following.
I'm 28 years old with two kids. I've always been quite overweight (even as a child) but my weight really ballooned during my second pregnancy and I've never really managed to get back to where I was. At my last check-up I got referred to a dietician for advice because my BMI is around 31/2. I need to lose around 27 kilos to be a 'healthy' weight, which is a bit daunting. I'd settle at the moment for losing around 10!
I've also had urinary and bowel incontinence issues after my second child, which are likely to be partially as a result of my weight. So that's another, pressing reason for losing some weight.
I've been trying really hard to follow the dietary advice I've been given and I'm just getting frustrated because I'm barely seeing any results. I'll follow the diet religiously for a week and lose about half a kilo - then it's back on the next time I weigh myself. I know exercise is important, but it's difficult because of the incontinence. I'm too scared to go swimming (which I've always loved) and the last time I tried to do a 'brisk walk' I ended up having a really bad bowel incontinence episode halfway through, which has put me off. It's also tricky to find time with the kids still being so young, although DD1 is off to reception in September.
I'm totally at the end of my tether with this -I just desperately want to lose a BIT of weight and it doesn't seem to be happening. I'm not eating badly, I'm exercising as much as I can - what else can I do? Any advice gratefully received!
1 like, 16 replies
Carolineq8 i55387
Posted
I think your over thinking it all and getting bogged down by the pressure, what about doing short intervals at home through out the day, 5 mins at a time 3 x per day to start, you might enjoy it a bit more. Short burst of exercises through out the day can be really beneficial, google some to start with, good luck😊
i55387
Posted
Thanks - I'll try that!
I've always been quite pear shaped but now I've got a big belly as well and I'm keen to try and lose weight round my middle. Would sit ups be helpful?
Carolineq8 i55387
Posted
I would start with cardio first as this will burn calories, ( running up and down stairs, skipping, jogging on the spot...)you can also use light weights for muscle tone, mix it up so you don't get bored and get the kids involved, every couple of weeks increase your work outs by a couple of mins or add another 5 mins to your day and change your work out round.
ask the kids for fun ideas to get moving, we bought roller blades and then tried to play basket ball in the park with this kids, now that's good fun and works you out, bikes are good to.
Also get one of those large work out balls and just by sitting on it for a few mins will help with core muscles, youl be surprised 😊
Michdonn i55387
Posted
EileenH i55387
Posted
Lots of short walks work out the same as one long one - so a walk after a toilet visit would be a start. Initially it doesn't have to be brisk - or just a few minutes around the block will do.
But I'm sorry - if I read your post correctly your BMI is 31 - or was that a typo? My BMI is about that and has been way higher (38 a few years ago) but I have never had severe bowel problems. I think that your doctors are doing the "you're fat so that is the source of all your problems" act. You need to be referred to an obesity specialist who really DOES know their stuff.
Dieticians are often rather "born again" about diet but the entire thing has to be done in a way that the individual patient can cope with. Exercise is helpful - it isn't essential - but where that is difficult they have to look at it differently. You need a lot of support - which is why diet clubs often help but that too is probably problematic for you.
What dietary advice have you been given? Is it realistic? Have you ever looked at Michael Mosley 's diets? I lost 35lbs with his five two diet and then by cutting carbs drastically, I have several friends who lost with the blood sugar one - and we are all on steroids which are supposed to make losing weight impossible and gaining all too easy!
And one very basic fact: when we go on a diet of any sort that is very different from normal our body fights it. That has all sorts of effects. Some people lose weight slowly but steadily from day one. Others apparently lose no weight at first and after weeks (if they keep at it) they suddenly lose a lot - they retain fluid for a time and then suddenly all that goes. Yet others lose a load at first and then the weight loss plateaus. But over a long period of time everyone loses similar amounts. But in very different ways. For those who don't lose at first it is very depressing - you have tried so hard and nothing has helped it seemed. Weighing too often isn't helpful. How your clothes fit is often better when you have a lot to lose. But you do have to find a diet that works for you - and maybe you haven't got that yet.
Often cutting salt is as important as cutting other things - both salt and carbohydrates make the body retain fluid and water weighs - and that is why your weight goes up and down. And maybe you aren't leaving out the things that are YOUR problem. For example, we talk a lot on my home forum about cutting carbs to lose weight. But people continue eating fruit - which, while healthy, contains carbohydrate - and then wonder why they haven't lost weight. It all mounts up.
i55387 EileenH
Posted
Thank you so much for this - it's really kind of you to take the time to write so much and it made me feel so encouraged. I was really feeling like I am just useless, not to be able to lose weight like everyone else in the world seems to do.
About the dietary advice, it was mostly along the lines of cutting out sugar and complex carbohydrates and weighing/measuring portions. Perhaps I have continued eating too much fruit, so that's something I'll look at. I've followed all the advice I've been given and haven't had a lot of lapses, but I just don't seem to be losing weight. I will look at the Michael Mosley diets.
Exercise is not easy for me. First of all, I don't think I'm very fit! Secondly, it's hard to fit stuff in around the kids because they're both still little (DD1 is 4, DD2 is coming up for 2). Thirdly, I'm nervous of having bowel accidents - I have a lot of urgency and incontinence episodes and it is so embarrassing. I like your idea of going for short walks after I've been to the toilet because I'd be less worried about something happening then. I'd like to try and join a diet group, but I'd have to sort out childcare and I'm worried in case there isn't a toilet nearby and my bowel probs flare up.
Yes, my BMI is 31/32 (I think it's precisely 31.9 at the moment!). 27 kilos just sounds like such a lot to lose! At the moment I can't even seem to lose 1 :-(
i55387 EileenH
Posted
BTW, I hadn't even realised there were such things as obesity specialists! Do you think it is worth getting referred? I was convinced that the dietician thought that I'm fat because I overeat and actually I never been a huge overeater... I just seem to put weight on.
EileenH i55387
Posted
In my book a BMI of 31 is not the end of the world, as I say, mine currently is just over 30 and no-one here is particularly worried about it. But then, I'm old
I really do not believe that urgency and incontinence is totally attributable to a BMI nor do I believe that your overweight is necessarily due to overeating. I assume that after the birth of your second baby when the problems started they did check thyroid function? Part of inability to control weight can be endocrinological - "your hormones" and that should be checked.
But when you need to lose weight - don't look at the total amount, set realistic goals. Aim for a loss of 5 lbs to start with, not the 27 kilos. And no-one is fit when they start exercising! Five years ago I could barely walk into the village - maybe 200 yards - and I was on crutches. I started by increasing the distance very slowly until I could walk all round a circular walk and then I worked on speed - at first I was crawling! But just going out for 10 mins at a time a few times a day does exactly the same as one long walk.
There is an Australian government booklet called:
LOOKING AFTER YOUR BOWEL
A Guide to Improving Bowel Function
Google it and see if there is anything there that fits and you could use to help that problem because you need to get confident you CAN go out safely. There are also specialist nurses or physios who advise on living with incontinence and that is someone else you should ask to be referred to. Many people have similar problems for many different reasons - no-one should have to suffer and be limited for lack of advice.
I'm not sure about how or who for obesity clinics - they may have criteria for referral including a minimum BMI - but it is always worth asking. It depends where you are but I googled "referral to an obesity clinic non-surgical treatment" and got links telling me about various hospitals in the UK offering such assessment and advice. The NHS site of course just has the same sort of not entirely helpful advice you probably got from the dietician!
Improving your bowel function and losing weight are both long term goals though - you aren't going to sort this out in a few weeks. So you must be prepared for a long term commitment - and need to find someone who will guide you through it. But you can and will get there - for the sake of your babies who need a happy and confident mum who can do things with them.
i55387
Posted
Thank you so much for all the advice - I can't tell you how grateful I am!
I should have explained a little more: the bladder and bowel probs are actually due to weak pelvic floor and muscle damage - I didn't have this before the birth of DD2, although I'd had some overactive bladder symptoms for years. I've been told that the fact I'm overweight is exacerbating the problem, which is why they referred me to the dietician. I've also been doing bladder retraining, which has been helpful to some extent.
And yes, I have lost my confidence about going out places and it's not fair on the kids, especially DD1, who wants to do things. So I'm totally committed to getting things better, but I do feel like I need some more support.
BTW, I've never had a thyroid function test. Is that something I should maybe ask about?
EileenH i55387
Posted
If you have such a weight problem in that it is very difficult to lose weight then yes, I think it should be checked out. And yes - you really do need support. So good luck in finding some - and do tell me how you get on. Hugs to DDs 1&2
i55387 EileenH
Posted
I am going to ask about that - I have been trying so hard to follow the dietician's eating plan and I'm just not losing weight - so perhaps it's worth investigating. On the other hand, I've always been overweight and I've found over the years that the pounds do tend to pile on quite easily, so it might just be the way I am.
Feel awful about the impact this is having on the kids. I know DD1 is really aware and I just feel like it's totally rotten on her.
EileenH i55387
Posted
Do have a look at the stuff I recommended before. Michael Mosley is very well informed and it isn't fad diets at all. When I was sent to the dietician for weight loss help I was told the same as is in the NHS advice - plenty of carbs! The only way I can lose weight is by eating next to no carbs! As soon as I eat more than an absolute minimum of carbs I stop losing weight - some people just are like that. Low carb Mediterranean diet is very easy - loads of salads and plenty of protein and moderate fat works very well, you are satisfied and not hungry all the time. And when you go out you just avoid bread, pasta, rice and potatoes - I ask for a salad instead of carbs and they rarely argue. Google it - you will get lots of ideas.
Beenthruit i55387
Posted
philip99571 i55387
Posted
I find that a website called www.nutracheck.co.uk is excellent for helping control a good balanced diet. But it also sounds as though you need medical advice for the incontinence.
ingeborg74610 i55387
Posted
Hi, I know only too well how hard it is to lose weight and understand how it upsets you. Perhaps you would want to deal with the incontinence problems first. I had the same problem and was advised to do pelvic floor exercises and this really helped. There are also exercises for bowel incontinence. If you look on youtube you will find some useful programmes and they do not take long. I find the NHS website very useful for my various conditions as it is evidence-based advice: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/bowel-incontinence/treatment/. ; It is difficult to fit in exercises with small children but you might find some time to do a few minutes of pelvic floor exercises. If you can do them 5 or 6 times a week, after 4 weeks you will find it makes a difference. But you can't stop doing them, you will have to carry on. Regarding other exercise you can exercise at home so the incontinence problem wouldn't stop you. On important aspect of exercise in your condition is to only do low impact exercises, ie. you always keep on foot on the floor. Again there are useful youtube videos. You might also like to get some 1/2 or later perhaps 1 kg handbells and there are exercise you can do sitting down. With regard to losing weight I found it easiest to go to a slimming club - I am not sure I am allowed to say which one here - but the weekly weigh-in and talk really helped me to keep going. I lost 20 kg. I have stopped going now because whenever I go over my ideal weight I just go back on that diet.
Also, exercise alone does not really make you lose weight, you'll have to combine it with a reduction in calorie intake. But exercise will tone your muscles and keep you healthy. The other thing to say is that it is important to choose an exercise programme - and there are so many like low impact aerobics, yoga, pilates etc (all on youtube) - that you enjoy and therefore can maintain. You could actually involve your children and have a session with them. What I must add is that it is important to stretch before and after exercise and also if anything hurts then stop this particular exercise. It might be an idea to ask your GP for advice because I do not know whether you have other health conditions.
I hope this helps and do not get down if you can't follow your programme be it exercise or diet all the time - this doesn't really matter - just get back to it when you feel in the right frame of mind. All the best!