Trying and failing to lose weight

I'm 28 years old with two kids. I've always been quite overweight (even as a child) but my weight really ballooned during my second pregnancy and I've never really managed to get back to where I was. At my last check-up I got referred to a dietician for advice because my BMI is around 31/2. I need to lose around 27 kilos to be a 'healthy' weight, which is a bit daunting. I'd settle at the moment for losing around 10!

I've also had urinary and bowel incontinence issues after my second child, which are likely to be partially as a result of my weight. So that's another, pressing reason for losing some weight.

I've been trying really hard to follow the dietary advice I've been given and I'm just getting frustrated because I'm barely seeing any results. I'll follow the diet religiously for a week and lose about half a kilo - then it's back on the next time I weigh myself. I know exercise is important, but it's difficult because of the incontinence. I'm too scared to go swimming (which I've always loved) and the last time I tried to do a 'brisk walk' I ended up having a really bad bowel incontinence episode halfway through, which has put me off. It's also tricky to find time with the kids still being so young, although DD1 is off to reception in September.

I'm totally at the end of my tether with this -I just desperately want to lose a BIT of weight and it doesn't seem to be happening. I'm not eating badly, I'm exercising as much as I can - what else can I do? Any advice gratefully received!

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