Twelve years sober.

Hi Robin. I remember you too! Six years is great. I have had other health issues since I last posted here. It's all on my updated profile. Feeling a bit sorry for myself atm. No, I won't have a drink to make me feel better ....

Thank you. It just happened really. There was no planning or great count down to the the big day. I was standing by an open window, semi drunk with a glass in my hand and for some reason I threw it out the window and said out loud, 'I don't want any more!' And that was it. Quite weird really. No medication etc and as Robin said, it can be dangerous to just suddenly stop and a chat with a Dr. is a good idea. All a bit impulsive but so far I'm ok. I sometimes want to reward myself with a drink, but that doesn't really make sense. I also counted the booze free days and after a while the thought of going back to zero and starting again because I had one drink was not on! I shall answer your private message soon. Best wishes. Thetoad, aka John.

You seem a winner to all of us. Very honest and upfront. Keep winning. Robin

Why do you keep replying to posts which are 7 months old? You do not even give advice. Just random...

Hi Robin

Without wishing to offend, I have said exactly the same thing to Alexendra on numerous occasions and on numerous forums.

She doesnt, as you so rightly say, offer any advice at all

Yes thank you. But the temptation surfaces at times.

Hi daisyjo. No, I can't remember any cold turkey symptoms. Again, I'm one of the lucky few who just stopped. But talk to your Dr! Robin will give you support and encouragement too when you ask. Best wishes. The Toad, aka John.

You sound like a very determined person! I think it gets easier over time, but as you suggest, the party and Christmas could be a challenge. I find telling people at these times that I don't drink helps and often people say that they wish they didn't as well! If they try to tempt me, I just tell them that I'm an alcoholic or I can't on my Doctor's advice and they usually leave me alone after that. It's interesting to watch people getting drunker and louder and I cringe when I remember my embarrassing moments. Or worse, when I don't remember and someone tells me! Good luck! You will get a lot of help from this site if you need it. Who knows, you could soon be helping others! Well done!

Hi Kerry,

i stopped 31st December 2011 after heavy drinking over xmas as most people do! Many many years drinking and i was looking after 16 months old twins..not acceptable since i was out of control and always hiding bottles. Felt horrible and ashamed for so long and had hit rock bottom. I stopped without any medicine and never looked back. My aim is to live longer by being more healthy and see my children grow up. In my mind i have one single thought: if i have one more drink it will be like poison and i will die! If i think that one drink will kill me, then than that is why i do not consider having one. Simple solution. I wish you luck with everything.

Hello again Robin. I am actually going through an awkward stage right now. Coming up to 74, no children to consider, some health issues, some responsibility for my 80 year old wife who has to use a wheelchair and soon I shall reach the 13 year mark booze free. So now as you have probably guessed, why not? I've certainly shown that I can do without alcohol and doubt if I shall go back to the heavy drinking days. It would probably finish me off, but a glass of wine won't. As I said, an awkward time. The temptation never went away but it got easier to manage.

I have never mentioned to anybody that i had a glass of French Champagne at work after being sober for 5 years! It was a spectacular event and somebody i admired had achieved the impossible. Before i had the glass i did say to myself that i had too much to loose if i had another glass. It tasted ok but was not spectacular and i had no craving at all to carry on! The glass was only half full by the way but the temptation was still there. Up to you to decide. By 31st December i will be sober for 8 years. Up to you. However, please do not blame me if you have one glass, then another and another..let me lighten the mood a bit and now congratulate you on your 13 years being sober! A massive achievement😃 Robin

I felt I had to jump iin here Toad .I also stopped drinking on will power alone for 15 years and was really happy with myself. .As the children were becoming independent and I thought like you 'why not' The first few odd drinks were had over a couple of years and I say they were fine but there was that intense desire to carry on bubbling away deep down.However , it did suddenly all came crashing down and I found that once again when i had that a drink i just could not stop . This pattern then sadly carried on for several years ,worrying my grown up kids and friends . I even kidded myself for ages that i could control it purely as I wasnt a daily drinker. I got so desperate to completely stop again but found i just couldnt do it and I was terrified the life I had built when sober was going to come crashing down and i had so much at stake .I went through all those horrible emotions of disgust and self loathing and one day in my reserch I stumbled across this site and all the lovely suppport here. I then learnt about and embarked on my TSM journey , that was almost 3 yrs ago. I really hope you make the right decision for you .I know everyone is different but I would guess like most of us picking up a drink is a huge gamble .I was in complete denial of that when I chose to drink again all those years ago.

What an honest and heartfelt reply. Excellent advice.

hi Nat

like robin says, a very honest reply. I too needed medication to get my life away from drink.

Now drink socially and i do enjoy a few drinks. However the craving for wanting more went after taking campral

Its so so good to feel isnt it that that part of life is truly back on track

That's all I want to do, drink socially at times and enjoy the occasion. Not the 1/2 litre of whisky in an afternoon, getting aggressive, throwing up and lying down waiting for the room to stop spinning! (Mental cringe, even after nearly 13 years booze free.) I shall have a chat to my Dr. about things. Thanks all.

Thats fantastic Robin 8 years is wonderful.That miniscule drop of champagne clearly meant nothing to you thank goodness but as we all know there was that possiblity it could have been different .As you rightly indicate its a personal choice and also a personal risk .

I had four sober years and to be honest hated it. My social life was non existant, couldnt see the point of socialising when i couldnt drink. I constantly thought of alcohol and after the four years, I still craved it.

Why did i start again?, simple because i wanted to and convinced myself the odd drink would do no harm as i was in control. Wrong, a few months later I was worse than before I stopped. This was due to alcohol kindling, worth googling as several good reads about it. Basically after each relapse it becomes physically harder to stop. The cravings get worse, as does the need to drink more.

I reached my rock bottom, raiding my kids money boxes and even selling my wedding and engagement ring, simply to buy alcohol. I couldnt get any lower.

My gp suggested acamposate (campral). Its an anti craving drug and unlike TSM, you dont drink. It started to kick in after about a week. I realised one afternoon that Id not thought about alcohol all morning. As the weeks went on, the cravings and need went too. I took it for about 10 months and got my life back.

A couple of years without medication and no interest in drinking. I was at a party one night and was asked what I wanted to drink. When my drink came, one sip told me id been given wine and soda and not the lime and soda id asked for. Curiosity, rather than need, made me drink it and another two after. However the desire to drink more wasnt there, the craving had gone and was quite happy having soft drinks.

Yes it was a dangerous gamble and proved the medication had worked. Put simply it had altered or reset part of my brain that wanted to drink.

Many years later i now drink sensibly. I have a set limit and no desire to continue. I like the buzz and dont get the hangovers and guilt the next day! I never drink alone and never touch spirits. My daily bottle of vodka has long gone and absolutely sure i wont end up back where I was. I have my life back, enjoy my grandchildren and can be trusted with them. My marriage is so much better, but above all else, i dont hate myself. I have got my self respect back.

I am not telling you to drink again, that is up to you to decide. Life without drink didnt suit me, it wasnt what i wanted. I do realise that my choices wouldnt suit everyone.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do and well done on your sober years

My thoughts now are to leave my decision until the actual 13 th anniversary on 11/2/20 at 5 pm! Then I shall get over the 'drinking season' and not worry about the checkpoints in the city, which will be everywhere. I would never drink and drive of course anyway, but I shall probably feel very virtuous and responsible! It would also be good to be the sober driver if necessary. I will know that I can resist the temptation to have 'just one drink' even if other people are enjoying themselves. Until the next morning possibly. We shall see ....

Great plan. Not too stressful i think. Go with the flow and see how you feel on the day. You have a great evening. I am just getting ready for work. Leave at 0815 with my twin girls aged 9 and drop them off at school. Part time 9 to 2 pm 4 days mon to thurs or 20 hours per week. Too many activities in the afternoon and my wife does not drive. Old 7 seater car seat alhambra. Football training yesterday on 3g grass at local stadium. Today swimming at 5pm. Tomorrow gymnastics one hour. Friday one of them does ballet. At school they have music lessons, violin and piano. Also other afternoon activities, i.e. afternoon clubs. Saturday morning football match! Crucial. On sunday they are mascots at an important womens football game. No time to breathe! Or to drink..ha ha

Brilliant Robin , well done .Certainly no roon in your fast paced life for alcohol 😊

Nat, well done. Such honesty, youve fought the battle and won.

Well, I got through my wife's and my birthday ok. Nobody who popped in to say hello had a drink either. Possibly because they weren't offered one! One funny thing was a birthday card with an opened bottle of red wine and a glass beside it, from an elderly friend. When I thanked her for her card, she said she 'thought of me' when she saw it. Oh well...