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two weeks sober but gave in last night

Posted , 14 users are following.

sharon7979
sharon7979

Feeling very fed up and down today. I had such a grasp on all the reasons to not do it anymore and i felt i was becoming stonger as time went on. Then for some reason, it wasnt even a particulary bad day i just wanted it and gave in. I could have been stronger so why wasnt i? Am i just a selfish person who when it all boils down to it thinks of nothing else but the first wave of alcohol when it enters your body. This forum has been a big help to me over the last few weeks and i do thank you all for your support. Genuinely just fed up with the whole thing....i believe that i am someone who never ever should have had that first sip. A bit like the way most people dont have their first hit of heroin. I always knew that i could get addicted. I have a lot of thinking to do right now, need to retrain my brain to the point that it was at a few days ago. Right now its the guilt and a horrible feeling that i will always be this way. So sorry again for being on a downer. Just being honest. Thoughts are with you all x

2 likes, 22 replies

22 Replies

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  • Nat666
    Nat666 sharon7979

    Posted

    That's exactly my thoughts Sharon, be kind to yourself ! , it happens and we have all been there but at least you have this big family of support who really do understand. Start again and maybe think of meds at some point soon , that was the route I took in the end otherwise I would still be binging today.

    My earlier reply is being moderated but hopefully you will get that too .

    Be good to yourself lovely xxx

  • Nat666
    Nat666 sharon7979

    Posted

    That's exactly my thoughts Sharon, be kind to yourself ! , it happens and we have all been there but at least you have this big family of support who really do understand. Start again and maybe think of meds at some point soon , that was the route I took in the end otherwise I would still be binging today.

    My earlier reply is being moderated but hopefully you will get that too .

    Be good to yourself lovely xxx

  • Nat666
    Nat666 sharon7979

    Posted

    That's exactly my thoughts Sharon, be kind to yourself ! , it happens and we have all been there but at least you have this big family of support who really do understand. Start again and maybe think of meds at some point soon , that was the route I took in the end otherwise I would still be binging today.

    My earlier reply is being moderated but hopefully you will get that too .

    Be good to yourself lovely xxx

    • sharon7979
      sharon7979 Nat666

      Posted

      My family are extremely fed up, especially my partner who has had to deal with so much over the last few years. Maybe he and i will talk later, i have to tread very carefully as i completely understand why he really doesnt like me very much right now. I am so fed up with this...but at the end of the day i will have to get up and find a way to make it even better next time. Way easier said than done, if it can be done for good at all. Sorry again for sounding negative, dont want to bring you all down. Just being honest about where i am right now. Hope things are good with you Nat, thanks for replying xxx
  • sue23569
    sue23569 sharon7979

    Posted

    Thank you Sharon for being honest.  All of you, in fact.  My husband is the alcoholic and he has had a bad time over the last few weeks, although we have had an awful 10 years or so. The other day he tried sobering up because he was about to lose his job (again) and he has now been referred to aan alcohol support worker.  But he has got drunk again today and probably won't make his appointment tomorrow.... I am really struggling with it now and feel I'm at the end of my tether.  I want to leave but I can't afford to.  He isn't violent and I love him very much but hate him too - and I know he's in a very dark place.  Reading all your words helps me to kind of understand what he's going through, because he can't or won't communicate with me about it.

    • sharon7979
      sharon7979 sue23569

      Posted

      I might be too late as i know you said the appointment was today. I hope he makes it or already has. Your right about him being in a dark place, sometimes though from your own point of view he prob seems like such a selfish person. I am sure he does love you too but does need some help. What you have to remember is that different things help different people so it may take a while for him to find whats right for him and for him also to be in the right frame of mind to deal with the challenges. I am not going to lie, it isnt easy for anyone. I myself as you know, full two weeks sober and then for some reason over the last few days i have just given in. I cant really even explain why to be fair. However, like i say we are all different and there is hope for you and your husband. Maybe even try to get him to come on to this forum, it is a great help to anyone on it who has an alcohol problem or for those that are with someone with the problem. I would be amazed if he didnt relate to some of what people have said on here, or maybe even want to vent himself. Make sure you come back too as whatever happens the support can only be a good thing. Keep in touch xxxx
    • l71207
      l71207 sue23569

      Posted

      I'm so sorry for you Sue because that is what I'm putting my wife through again. I'm the alcoholic and she keeps forgiving me. I've been taking Naltrexone to try and help but we went on a trip to reno and binged for five days with our friends. She did too but she can stop right after. We've been married for over 10 years and I can't tell her what it's like and now I'm going through withdrawals and hiding the drinking to get through. It takes a strong person to stick with us. She is the love of my life and I hope she will stay with me. Keep talking on this forum it really does help.

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