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ultradian bi polar

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bassett
bassett

My husband has ultradian bi polar it has just had this new name give by usa and uk nhs it means that he has the normal waves of up and down BUT in any24hr period rapid changes as well they peak up or down according to main wave pattern so very hard to live with as even with meds to do not know what comes next

he has had it for over 30years in the begining no real name but  it was labeled in the 90s they used the term bi polar

he has been one the same meds for over 10 years and is as stable as possible we have learnt to live with the changes in his moods.

Ajust and cope are my motto

0 likes, 20 replies

20 Replies

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  • borderriever
    borderriever bassett

    Posted

    Hello Bassett

    Live can be hard in a family with Bi-polar

    There is very little I can say, How can we help ?

    BOB

    • bassett
      bassett borderriever

      Posted

      no help needed thank you but I just wanted people to know that there is more than one type of bi polar and labels do not fit everyone the same

      the famlies have a life sentence as well and as there is little or on help for them just understanding that they are affected as much if not more than the patient goes a long way to help

    • stacey16142
      stacey16142 bassett

      Posted

      Don't really think it's very nice calling it a life sentence. If you don't want to live with it then walk away. I would be mortified if my family/friends said that about me. We are all aware that there is different types of Bipolar also smile

    • stacey16142
      stacey16142

      Posted

      Us bipolar ones can't walk away as we have to live with it forever

    • lynn23363
      lynn23363 stacey16142

      Posted

      I'm sorry but I think it must feel like a life sentence, I have been trying to help my ex boyfriend, I don't know what mood he is going to be in from one day to the next. He can go from being happy to wanting to end his life. He ended our relationship because he can't be happy, he doesn't think he's entitled to be. He actually told me to find someone else, not to live like I've been given a life sentence.

    • bassett
      bassett lynn23363

      Posted

      Thank you for understanding how life is never the same when illness affects your other half After being married for 45 years and having my husband " ill" for the majority of the time ,at first with no knowledge of what was really wrong.

      I did ,do and always will love him no matter what. To have walked away was never an option so we have worked through together. I know that if I had not been there for him he would have committed sucide long ago

    • borderriever
      borderriever bassett

      Posted

      Many with Mental health problems manage quite a normal life, yes there is negativity that families suffer from when we are ill. I never look at my condition as a life sentance for those around us. In my case I moved away and now my life choices are understood and we live around them.

      In the many decades I have suffered mental health problems I have never found my attitude comprimise my life choices, even though I do have Physical Disabilities.that cause my mental health problems.

      In the past I have travelled around the world and done voluntary work within the NHS. I have also written a book on travelling 

      Sad to say my disability has now extended into my Short term memory, although I still attempt performing or studying different hobbies. In March I am taking courses to Skipper my own Power boat.. I never look upon my condition as a life sentence for those around me. All it has done in my case is make me more determined to try different things

  • sadhna15793
    sadhna15793 bassett

    Posted

    Hi well done for supporting your husband throughout his illness as I'm sure it's not been easy

    It's gud to hear the view of a partner!!

    My partner of 3yrs has bipolar & it's taken me 1yr to adjust to this relationship, I do sumtimes question if his behaviour is deliberate ! Or part of the illness!!

    On many occasions he's let me down , cancelled dates , ignores me , ends the relationship, avoids seeing me ect

    !!!

    He's never apologises !!! I'm understanding & patient & have done much research into this condition so this relationship can work as I do love him & don't want to walk away even when he's having low moods or mania episodes but do still believe he must no right from wrong ? Do you think I'm being unreasonable in expecting him to consider my feelings ?

    He's also had abad marriage/devorce & feel he'll never trust another woman !! He's never said he loves me !!! Not sure if I can continue with this relationship????

    • lynn23363
      lynn23363 sadhna15793

      Posted

      Hi at last someone who feels the same as me. I didn't walk away and I still want to help but I am beginning to wonder whether my ex boyfriend is using his illness as an excuse. He can be horrible, say nasty things, push me away and It's all acceptable because it's his illness. I often feel like too like cancelling a date,feeling too tired,being moody,just wanting to just be on my own but I can't, I have to pull myself together. He's the one thats not well and needs my attention all the time. 

  • bassett
    bassett

    Posted

    Hi again . The behaviour you have both found has happened many times to me

    We both decided long ago to set basic rules that we try to keep to .

    1:  don't use the illness to get own way

    2:  try to end a day on a good note

    3:  some behavior is not acceptable , he has been violent on occassions when the meds are not working properly ie when a stomach upset,flu or pain from his other problems is too great then I try to get in another room etc and let time to calm down

    4:  always talk about what has happened after and try to see how it can be avoided, changed

     He knows deep down I wont leave but over the years has pushed many time the limit of my patience  its as if he wants to test my resolve as he feels he should not have someone there for him

    I do and have shouted back etc but it has often made the situation worse so step back and keep calm -Very hard to do

    Allow time for your self even if it does seem hard if you get ill you cannot help 

    ps the bad times have been very bad but the good times are worth

    • sadhna15793
      sadhna15793 bassett

      Posted

      Thanxs for your advice & having rules sounds a really good idea

      My partners never violent or argumentative just goes quiet & that's frustrating as we can only make the situation better if he admits his behaviour isn't acceptable

      You've given me some hope as things will get better if we both work at this relationship

    • bassett
      bassett lynn23363

      Posted

      Hi, It has been some time since the post but I wondered how you are doing.
    • bassett
      bassett sadhna15793

      Posted

      Hi, It has been some time since the post but I wondered how you are doing.
    • sadhna15793
      sadhna15793 bassett

      Posted

      Hi im still with my partner but life is still very much a rollercoaster, we Hav gud & bad days

      I sometimes doubt his feelings towards me as he's had bad relationship experiences & wont allow himself to trust or love another woman

      It's very hard to walk away as I feel committed now

    • bassett
      bassett sadhna15793

      Posted

      I am glad to hear from you. As I said before the Bad times were and are always a problem for me to cope with BUT the Good times more than makeup for them.  When everyday is a challange i just look foreward to the next and take each day as it  comes

       

    • bassett
      bassett sadhna15793

      Posted

      just seen you page on coping with stress etc the Health Information page - Stress and Tips on How to Avoid It gives some good advice 

       

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