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Unable to orgasm after Total Hysterectomy

Posted , 15 users are following.

non_mulierem
non_mulierem

I had a total hysterectomy 15 months ago with removal of the cervix of course, and have not been able to have an orgasm since.  My lovely doctor let me go back on HRT patches to see if it would help and also to stop severe hot flushes and vaginal dryness.  Hot flushes easing so is the dryness but the Big O is still missing.  My partner and I are absolutely gutted.  I remember the surgeon saying to me after the 6 week check up "Now go and get on with your life",  When I said I hadn't tried the love life yet, he just looked on the floor.  Wonder if he knew as  I have since discovered online how many women are suffering like me, I wonder why there are no warnings from the surgeons that this might happen post hysterectomy.  I am so angry I feel like writing to the surgeon so may be he'll think twice about the absolute necessity of  doing this op to other women.  Unless anyone on here can tell me it comes back after all ths time, I have lost an important part of my life.

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  • poppy49
    poppy49 non_mulierem

    Posted

    Hello

    i am so glad you brought this up. I have done quite a bit of research into this. I too had everything removed and now my orgasm is mild compared to before. This is due to the uterus being removed and I found out before that my uterus used to contract when having an orgasm which caused intense feeling. This now can't happen. I don't enjoy sex nearly as much as before as the feeling is very mild. I,don't think it will improve either. Nothing was said before my hysterectomy about this. I had mine done 13 months ago. I am on hrt and no difference. I really wish I had known. I would have still had the operation as I was ill before but I would have prepared myself for this. 

    Lee

    • non_mulierem
      non_mulierem poppy49

      Posted

      Hi Lee, thanks for replyng, you are like me then only I can't even have a mild O.  What upsets me is that you get medics writing articles saying sex is even better than before.  If this is the case for some women, it must be because the cervix has been left in.  I asked for this to happen but my surgeon said HE would decide what HE wanted to do when he got me on the operating table! 
    • poppy49
      poppy49 non_mulierem

      Posted

      Hi. I think it's more to do with the uterus.  I think for some woman sex is better as there is no more bleeding and pain. But not all woman have orgasms that include contractions of uterus and cervix. So these women will not be as affected as we are. I do get an orgasm but it's not strong and I can take it or leave it. I was always sexual before so I'm struggling with this. It's still a taboo subject and I think we need to be more transparent when it comes to post surgery. As I said I would have still had the operation but I would have coped better knowing this might happen. I'm trying not to let it get me down.  It's a tough one though as I'm only 50. 

      Lee x

    • non_mulierem
      non_mulierem poppy49

      Posted

      I do feel for you Lee and know what you mean about the 'taboo subject'.  50 is no age and I for one am now going to shout this problem from the rooftops.  I am 63 and felt there was an element of 'she shouldn't be doing such things at her age anyway'
    • poppy49
      poppy49 non_mulierem

      Posted

      Yes it's not talked about. I didn't even think of my sex life being affected after the op.  I think it's something that should definitely be discussed when discussing the operation itself. It's a life changing decision and I'm trying to put some positive spin on it.  I feel like I'm in mourning a bit knowing that I will never experience sex like I used to. But there is nothing I can do about it.  It's life changing. 

      Lee x

    • caroline_19506
      caroline_19506 poppy49

      Posted

      That's true I'm only 50 and don't stop enjoying being a woman hrt works for me
    • poppy49
      poppy49 caroline_19506

      Posted

      I am on hrt and it's working great. It hasn't helped the orgasm debate though. Everyone is different. But I'm all for raising awareness of what may happen after hysterectomy x
    • non_mulierem
      non_mulierem poppy49

      Posted

      Agree with everything you've said Lee.  I am going to write tothe surgeon and see what he has to say.  My doctor thinks I should also.
    • poppy49
      poppy49 non_mulierem

      Posted

      I agree nothing is said before the op regarding sex.   And certainly nothing about orgasm. I think it should be discussed more freely. It may be worth campaigning to bring about transparency regarding this subject.  Even at pre op the nurse explains that there can be a difference in orgasm and depending on how you orgasmed before you may experience very little feeling after the op.  At least this way it will not be such a shock to the system. 

      Lee xx

    • non_mulierem
      non_mulierem poppy49

      Posted

      Yes I know you'd think the pre op nurse would have said something,   I felt more comfortable with her than the surgeon who was brusque and dismissve.  I felt she was rushed though with her heavy workload and young so not in the same zone as an older woman with the prospects of hysterectomy,  I am writing ot the surgeon this weekend, stamped addressed envelope to me lol, and I will let you ladies know what he says - if he does reply,  I will copy my Doc in as well.  I appreciate the comment about it being psychological (another poster) and this would be a ray of hope if this is the case so I can get my head fixed if needs be.  I am open to all suggestions to help myself and other ladies.  I am appreciative of all your replies.  I will post back when I have heard from the surgeon xx
    • poppy49
      poppy49 non_mulierem

      Posted

      Hi

      i think the whole operation is centred around medical issues.  The op is great as it can basically save your life.  The emotional and sexual issues are not discussed.  I get that some of it may be emotional but I believe without the cervix and uterus your orgasms change beyond all recognition. It all depends on what kind of orgasm you have.  That is why some women do not experience any difference. It's a complex issue.  But I'm also all for raising awareness so that women like us are aware this can happen and can make a choice as to whether to go ahead with the operation. I get that some women don't get that choice depending on what their hysterectomy was for.  Looking forward to hearing how you get on.

      lee xx

    • non_mulierem
      non_mulierem poppy49

      Posted

      Absolutely agree with all you've said Lee. If you have got cancer issues in that area it certain is life saving.  Annoying thing for me it was prolapsed uterus but I'd already had an operation to hoist it back up with mesh and it was the mesh that failed some years down the line.  The uterus prolapsed again so had the hysterectomy.  If I'd have known about the non 'O' I would have PAID for a second hoist up!  When I get a response from the surgeon I'll be back on here to report.  In the meantime, I thank you for the time you've given to support me and spur me on to try and get an answer, even a resolution, to what's happened to me/us.  Take care.
  • nicola34310
    nicola34310 non_mulierem

    Posted

    Morning assassa

    I am 10 months post TAH BSO and I was always sexually satisfied, I met my husband at the age if 15 I am now 44 years old and since my op I think I've had sex 3 times 😪 I can't stand him near me but I love him dearly, I gave had complications as had investigation keyhole surgery in decber but due to mass adhesions he could not get in so I had open surgery again 4 weeks ago to remove them in surgery 3 hours my bowel and other organs were stuck together these have all been removed but still in pain. I have explained to him him and he understands I think? I have had 4 open abdominal surgeries in total my tummy is like a road map and swollen feel awful I'm on hrt but they don't seem to work?

    I understand how you are feeling it's awful xxx

    Nic

    • non_mulierem
      non_mulierem nicola34310

      Posted

      You've had a rough time of it Nic.  I am finger crossed for you to feel a lot better in a few more months with your love life on track.  Take care.
    • nicola34310
      nicola34310 non_mulierem

      Posted

      Hi Assassa

      Thank you for your kind words they mean a lot xx I believe us women go through the mill and there has to be a silver lining for us somewhere x we are strong and we have everyone on here who are amazing and give us strength, love to you all xxx

    • non_mulierem
      non_mulierem nicola34310

      Posted

      I will let you know what the response is if I get a reply from surgeon, even if  dont x
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