1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Anxiety Disorders

unwanted thoughts really need help

Posted , 35 users are following.

gillian26312
gillian26312

Hi

I was just wondering if there was anyone out there who struggled with unwanted thoughts?

One day about two moths ago I had a terrible thought about my children and from then it has just been awful.  My doctor has put me on 40mg citalopram and propanodol .  I have also started taking vit b as ive heard this can help.

one minute i think it will be ok but then bam it just hits me and i start having crazy thoughts.  I go thorugh suvere feelings of guilt because i start thinking why am i thinking like this, i start to question do i not like my own children then i think i am a terrible mother for even thinking that etc,

the other day i just thought oh my god i cant do this anymore.

i start to freak out thinking all this is the build up to something terrible i am going to do etc.

is there anyone else who has experienced and will it get better and stop.  i just want to go back to the normal mother i was who adored everything about my children i really cant cope with it.

one thing i think deep deep deep down i dont think i would ever hurt my children.  i dont even skelp them, and if i thought anyone had to hurt them i would kill them for it.  its all just so messed up and i cant do this anymore.

thanks

 

3 likes, 78 replies

78 Replies

Prev Next
  • London_ridge
    London_ridge gillian26312

    Posted

    Acceptance of the thoughts is a good thing...even if you think it's a bad thought because after all it's a thought not an action. So even laugh at it but don't run from them or try to keep them down ( like humming when you don't like hearing something)

    when the thoughts come up and they are negative...just give them room and say to yourself...that was an scarey thought...but that's all it is. It will never materialize. BTW, with anxiety like this nothing ever happens that you think might.

    hope I helped.

    • gillian26312
      gillian26312 London_ridge

      Posted

      thanks very much rose, just hearing someone tell me nothing happens helps. i need to learn to just accept them and get on with it, so hard but i am really going to try
  • Elisabeth35372
    Elisabeth35372 gillian26312

    Posted

    Do you think it's possible that you're in a perimenopausal state?  Hormones can do very weird and scary things.  During the beginning of my menopause (and, of course you don't know that you're in the beginning state), I experienced very, very disturbing menopausal doom.  I did not want to hurt anyone, but I had constant thoughts of people dying, specifically my mom, my dogs and me.  My husband are son were spared from these thoughts.  But I had these thoughts all the time for a few years and it was extremely upsetting.  Now that I'm through menopause, I don't have these thoughts at all.  Please get your hormones checked.  I'm sending you my love.
    • gillian26312
      gillian26312 Elisabeth35372

      Posted

      thanks Elisabeth, im only 29 so i doubt its that, although i can definately sayu about a week prior to my time of month i do feel more sensitive etc.  I do think there is am imbalance somewhere.  I think i may mention hormones to my gp and see if perhaps this is something to do with it. thanik you for coming back on my post its much appreciated
    • kathryn81522
      kathryn81522 Elisabeth35372

      Posted

      Hi I have been having these scary thoughts also. I am 49 and in perimenopause. Do they improve with hormone therapy? I'm really scared would appreciate a reply. Thanks.

  • daniel59977
    daniel59977 gillian26312

    Posted

    I had this exact same feeling about 9 years ago and can relate how bad it feels, I almost  left the family home because I felt I would harm the kids etc because of my thoughts. I eventually plucked up the courage to tell the doctor how I was feeling thinking I was going to get sectioned or somthing like that because I just  thought it was somthing really wrong to think like that. he put me touch with a great therapist. I was feeling dubious that this was going to change the thoughts I was having but anything was worth a shot and my god it was perfect for me the thoughts and feelings went my anxiety and deppression was under control all because of this simple step I took, it takes a bit of time Gillian but it's worth every last drop of it, good luck and I'm sure your be fine so don't suffer in silence.
    • gillian26312
      gillian26312 daniel59977

      Posted

      thank you so much Daniel, it is so good to hear from someone who has been thorugh this.  It is just horrible, I too, at times think i just need to leave etc to protect them all from well me.  I also have horrible times where i think perhaps i should end my life, but then i think about the kids and i know they need me etc and i couldnt do it to them.  A few people have said to me about a therapist , I am defiantely going to ask my gp about it I would do anything.  Do you feel totally recovered now or do you ever have turns when u suffer again? My children are not my husbands and they are from an ex, my husband wants us to have a baby of our own.  I would like to have a child with him but the thought of it scares me senseless as i could not bear to feel like this towards another child etc i just want to be back to my normal self.  Right now the kids are great playing away, i have been playing with them and i would never dream of harming a hair on their heads, its just so messed up.  Makes me feel like a total failure at times to my kids and my husband.  I seem to just change, one min i feel ok and then it just hits me.  I also sometimes feel i cant be bothered doing anything and even taking the kids to the park is a pain and then i feel guilt for feeling like that.  fingers crossed this goes away.  thank you so much for coming back to me
  • daniel59977
    daniel59977 gillian26312

    Posted

    Hey Gillian yeah I'm totally recovered but I do suffer some panic attacks once in a blue moon but nothing I cant deal with. when you feel like that it's hard to get motivated to do anything it totally drains the life out of you and really scary to. It is just glitch in your part of life that once your over it you will be a lot stronger and wiser I promise you that and life with family gets great. I've since had another child with my partner and living life fully and contently which I'm sure you will too. Stay strong and make sure you do see a therapist, honestly really helps 
  • gillian26312
    gillian26312

    Posted

    Hi guys, I thought I would update. Today i am feeling a bit better,  I played the computer with the kids and then they went to a birthday party.  My mum is now keeping them overnight so i have a bit of space.  I have kept busy and took my puppy to get microchipped and am feeling quite relaxed and good for the moment. I hope you are all doing well, and thanks for the support
Back to top
Prev Next

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.