Ups and downs !!!

Posted , 9 users are following.

Those regulars to this site will know I ve been on quite a rollercoaster ride this last 18 weeks. Loads of dose changes and side effects. Having gone up to 40 I am now back down to 20.

Been on 20 15 days. I ve a goodish couple of days but today the dizziness and nausea is back as is the anxiety. I know I need to just push on at this dose for 8 to 12 weeks. The longest I have been on a dose was 6 weeks at 30. I know ups and downs are normal.

Is it generally a good sign I ve had a good couple of days even if today is not going well.

Really just need some reassurance. I am due to visit a couple of nurasries for my son this avo but a struggling to go out. Could really just do with some comfort as it is so hard to feel ok then not again. I just need some hope.

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  • Posted

    Hi Sarah

    Yes its a good sign - I imagine things are beginning to happen.  It often starts with 'glimpses' here and there of feeling well followed by low days and even side effects.  Yes, try and relax towards the feelings and anxiety you're having and it'll pass in time.

    When you feel well you'll feel positive, and when you're back down again you'll feel negative again - its normal.  It is hard when you're low again, but that is the time to push on through but in a relaxed manner. 

    It does get better xxxx

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  • Posted

    You seem to have been up and down with your doses, give it a couple of more weeks and you should be ok

    It is best not to worry, you will get to a point where everything will work ok

    Keep a hold

    B.

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  • Posted

    I understand how you feel. I've had a good few days and then Monday was bad, yesterday was good and today was bad again. And when I am having a good day I think finally I am feeling better and it will stay this way only to be disappointed the next time i feel so anxious again for nothing. Tomorrow will mark 3 weeks that i have been on 40mg dose. Side effects seem to have gone and sometimes come back. When I am having the bad anxious times again I feel like I'll never have good days again. So the ups and downs are normal I hear?? And soon it will all level out? It's a good sign in having good days? And then bad. Just don't want the bad days anymore.

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  • Posted

    Hi Sarah

    i understand every words u write

    i was exactly like u

    it will pass believe me

    i was up and dawn

    meghan in week 13 i totally become normali have a little low days but than 4 mounts i was good

    just yesterday i have a really really bad mood i feel that i becom in Zero again i really becom a fried becz long time i didn't feel that way

    but i will be pation it may go also

    be pation

    we are all here for u

    u seem mom like me

    is that ur first baby also ?

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  • Posted

    Morning Sarah,

    I am sorry that I have not read this until this morn and therefore gotten back to you before.  I had a hospital appt and have been told I need a new hip!  Too much sport and running over the years - but it was worth it, because I enjoyed it - feel all washed up now though.

    Anyway, I don't think, I or anyone else, has said Welcome to The Club! until now?  That is my offer for today as Kate has already said what I would say (I listened to Kate from when I started here and have not looked back, she gives the best advice!)

    What you need to do is try the best you can to focus on those little glimpses of positivity and everytime to get over a dip (even if, they outweigh the ups at the moment) that is moving forward.  Relax, the best you can (don't worry if sometimes it is difficult - don't push it) and ride those waves.  Every little plus is worth waiting for!

    Many of us recover in such a way that we do not look back, this illness, as cr*p as it is does help us to move forward, see what is sh*te in the world and makes us better people.  A big part of the recovery from day 1 is that we soon begin to help others, which in turn helps us even more.  May be we can make this world a better place too!

    I hope all went well yesterday.  Have you considered having yer partner or a friend on standby to go with you when you have appointments like these?  It does help, if my Ann had not have been with me when I tried to go out I now I would have more than likely collapsed under the pressure of just going for a walk especially, in town.

    Keep posting and reading, we are here (unless we have appointments, work or just don't feel like getting up!  Everyone has a bad day Sarah.

    Regards,

    David

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    • Posted

      It's been 3 weeks im on 40mg and I've had some good chunks of the days lately that have been great and then back to days that were very anxious again. And I always think it will get back to the bad beginning and I'll never feel ok again. When I feel good and I notice it i start wondering how long it will last. I know it's bad. Hard to stop. Trying.

      Also, mornings seem to be the hardest , is that normal? I heard it is the last to go?

      Just want reassurance that the pills are slowly working.

      I'm on a wait list to get CBT.

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    • Posted

      I m the same.

      Morning are tough and my anxiety goes up and down through out the day. Some days less than others. I am hoping the fact I have better days is a good sign too.

      It is so hard believing you ll get better when the anxiety is strong.

      Have to have hope.

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    • Posted

      Yeah we are exactly the same.

      When the anxiety goes away a bit I feel like yes I can beat this it's getting better it's not so bad! But soon as the anxiety is back I start to be more negative and less hopeful.

      Nausea seemed to be gone some days but it's back this morning for me. It's frustrating. Waking so anxious sucks because I get afraid the whole day will be this way.

      3 weeks today for me on 40mg.

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    • Posted

      what a great words , :"wink

      speechless

      Kate & David ur guys the best

      u halpe a lot

      this website the best thing happened to me this year

      i can't life without it

      best way to pass the blip is posting here believe me

      it's really halpe

      no one help me as u guys do

      good blessed u

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    • Posted

      i was feel the same too

      it's like circall never end

      but it will believe me

      best way

      keep posting here

      and going ousted home

      and finally take Dizpame

      it's really work and help with anxiety

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    • Posted

      Today is a worse day for me. I feel really sad and down. I haven't felt like that in awhile. But today I do. Just seems like when I think I'm getting better it gets bad again. Ups and downs are hard. I just want the ups.

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    • Posted

      Hi David

      I did not see the psych. I called and said I intend to stay steady on my meds so want to see her in Jan when more will be apparent. I find discussing meds an anxiety trigger especially as they give such bad advice.

      Today was a bit better than yesterday. Bit anxious and morning was a shock as usual. It does feel like I wake up in shock. I got out to the shop. As usual I got a tension headache this avo. This predates the meds.

      I am due to take my son swimming tomorrow which will be a hugh challenge.

      Had my worst weekend in ages last weekend. Hopefully this one will be better.

      I have just completed 24 sessions of therapy which has been very challenging and I am starting to work through some difficult issues. I hope by addressing the roots of my anxiety I will get long term change with the meds helping along the way.

      Sorry you need a new hip.

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    • Posted

      The hip's sh*t, but that's life!  As I mentioned before, I would not change anything for the world because that is the way it panned out.  Mind you, I may have tried harder during rugby training then I may have got sport joints earlier! Lol!

      The root(s) of our problems hang over us like a big dark cloud and we have to address or exorcise them to move on.  You are not the only one suffering, but you are suffering and that is what is important to you first and foremost.  Just remember that there are many suffering these days and you are not alone in trying to recover and move on.  Along the way we'll try and help you do just that.

      Another part of my recovery is that I know fully appreciate how many other people are suffering from these modern mental illnesses caused by the people in power, who only give a flying f*ck about their bank balances.  Therefore, that is why I am here to help having gone through similar.  I am toying with the idea of taking up training as a counsellor, who knows,we'll just have to wait and see!

      Regards,

      David 

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    • Posted

      Thanks Roby,  we are only doing what you will probably do when you are at the same stage in recovery as us.

      Keep reading, posting and be strong!

      Regards,

      David

      PS  Sorry for delay in answering, but I didn't get a message to say you had commented on my post.  Suggest, due to probs in the past with this site, when you want to post to a specific person, put their name at the beginning of the post then when they appear via email we can see for whom the post is for if it is specifically for someone!

       

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    • Posted

      Hi Isabel,

      Sorry for delay in answering, but I didn't get a message to say you had commented on my post within Sarah's.  Suggest, due to probs in the past with this site, when you want to post to a specific person, put their name at the beginning of the post then when it appears via email we can see for whom the post is for if it is specifically for someone!

      Anyway, Cita does take time to work and it seems strange that by 40mg (which is what I'm on) you should be more levelled out by now?!  Did you increase from 10/20mg slowly, how long ago?

      Many of us naturally start wondering, as we get better, will it last, when will I get a blip etc., etc.  Just try to enjoy it and not think or over worry about that which has not happened yet.  Not always easy to do, I admit however, weird as this may sound, you coulr try what I do.  I close my eyes and imagine a circular room with say, half a dozen doors into which you can place stuff into the rooms behind each door!  The kind of stuff that plays on yer mind for one reason or another - usually the kind of stuff that when you get to it, or when it happens, ain't no big deal after all anyway!  For example, being a bit of an amateur historian I imagine a medieval type stone chamber with those wooden doors with the metal fastenings.  Everytime I get to constantly think about one thing, I close my eyes (don't try this when driving or operating machinery though - bit dangerous!!!) imagine the stone chamber with reed torches on the walls and behind one or how many doors (depends if I'm mentally multi-tasking!!!) I place the cr*p whizzing round me cerebral vortex and shut the door.  Now, even when you have this off to a 'T' any door can open and the thought(s) can pop back in to yer head, all you do is pop it back into the room and slam that door!

      This is a Shinto practice from Japan and you'll never guess where I learnt it from?  The book Shogun!  Yep!  I ain't no hippy dippy, but I do like reading and learning!

      Mornings the hardest?!  What time of day/night do you take Cita?

      Regards,

      David

       

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    • Posted

      David 21660

      My doc started me on 10mg for two weeks then I was on 20mg for about 5 months and for 4 months I was doing great and then anxiety came back bad and wasn't going and she Increased me to 30mg for 6 weeks and then now I am 40mg. It's the 3rd week on 40mg.

      I take my pills in the morning as I was told thats when I should.

      I feel like I am so close to being better and I won't wake as anxious but then it's like my mind is looking for and waiting for it to happen I try hard to stop it but not always easy. Also down lately because nov28 marks 9 years since my father passed away and that was when all the bad anxiety began for me. And I get so sad thinking of the day he passed. I haven't dealt with it properly

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    • Posted

      Firstly, and phew!  I know exactly what you mean, not just about losing a parent, but date wise!  Today, 28th, I was sat by my dieing brother's bed side with his family in Kansas City!  So, yes I know exactly what you mean.  There is no plan to grieving nor a timescale either.  No one can decide for you how long it takes, let alone us doing it ourselves.  It is so individually personal no good person would ask, just listen.

      Anyway, I will have to get back to you later to answer the other part of your message.

      X

       

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