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Using alcohol to cope with anxiety + depression

Posted , 12 users are following.

mary8693
mary8693

I think it must be true what they say about one has to hit rock bottom before deciding giving up drinking. I tried many times and failed.  I am now trying again.  This my 4th day and don't have long time  projects.  I try to do it a day at a time and when I feel like a drink I try to go over all the list of pain and problems that alcohol has been causing me for years in my life.  It is v early days but the main thing is that now I feel I have no more options left.  It is staying sobre or losing completely control over my life... Thanks for listaning and sharing.  Wish you strength.  M

2 likes, 22 replies

22 Replies

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  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 mary8693

    Posted

    Hi Mary and Robin...many sincere thanks for both of your lovely replies....

    I have been sober now for 14 yrs...i drank for 10 yrs from the age of 40 to 50.yrs...

    I got hooked very, very quickly, I drank because I was bullied at work...i just walked out in the end....my family and the mental health team were an amazing help...they supported me all the way through...after my fourth section, I never had a drop of alcohol for 1 yr.....after that time period, I found that I could have a couple of drinks, and then stop...we go out twice a week as a family. I have two drinks, and a little more wine when I get home....

    Very, very occasionally I have a few too many....BUT....AND IT IS A BIG BUT !!!! WHEREAS in the past I would have craved another drink the next day...but that has been gone for 14yrs....thank God....

    The worst part for me when I drank heavily, was the SHEER TERROR of having NO ALCOHOL IN MY HIDING PLACES...the sheer, utter panic was crippling !!!! But if I knew that I had a bottle for emergencies, I was okay....i have a couple of drinks twice a week, and I go home sober....if I can stop. Then never lose hope for yourselves...my whole life has changed, so much, I sleep, eat, garden. And when I look at my families faces now...when they look at me..all of the fear has gone...thank God, it helps all of us to relax....

    NEVER, ever, ever !!!! punish yourself or feel guilt wracked if you have a slip..Just pick yourself up....and try again...it took me a very long time to think every single day..that I have not drunk for days, weeks or months....but PLEASE..PLEASE...PLEASE....never ever, ever, GIVE UP....GIVING UP XXX I WISH YOU ALL STRENGTH, COURAGE, FAITH, RESPECT FOR YOURSELF... we can all be totally alcohol free and happy. No matter how many times we have to try....much love, warm, loving hugs...and huge SINCERE HUGS...AND GREAT COURAGE TO ALL OF YOU LOVELY, LOVED, AND STRONG PEOPLE

    And WORTH IT XXX PEOPLE....MUCH LOVE...ALWAYS....XXXXXX

    • mary8693
      mary8693 deirdre._03652

      Posted

      Hi Deirdre,

      Many thanks for writing and supporting us. 

      I guess my drinking got out of hand because the unhappiness I experienced in my work place.  My life there became hellish despite the fact that I liked my job.  I had a breakdown and at the end resigned but still miss the fulfillement the job part gave me. 

      I tend to look back and get depressed about it but I feel better about it now.  So, I can understand that bullying can push one to the edge.  Hope you found a better job.  I couldn't since I wasn't that young any more.

      Your story gives me so much hope.  Not drinking for a year is a dream I am looking forward to achieve.  Then I will see...  I try not to make too many big projects.  Now my aim is to get over this week and then the next...

      I recognise the fear you are describing too well but it is bound to get easier now that I made this fresh start.

      I failed many times but as you say, we have to try again and again until we make it.

      I can't cope with the mess and hurt drink causes in my life and especially the life of my loved ones.  Nothing will make disappear the misery I caused them.  I am lucky I still have my family.

      Yesterday was trying as I was alone most of the day and the devil was tempting me to just have a little drink!  I got busy having a bath, doing my hair and then watching the soaps and, the bad time of craving passed.

      Thanks again and wish you a lovely day!

      Love, M xx

       

  • caroline1978
    caroline1978 mary8693

    Posted

    Same here Mary, this is my 2nd real try, last time I did 14 months sober this time I am 3 weeks today and determined. Believe in yourself & stay strong, good luck to you xx

    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 caroline1978

      Posted

      Well done Caroline. You are certianly dong much better now than before! Keep going! Robin
    • mary8693
      mary8693 caroline1978

      Posted

      Caroline,

      Well done for carrying on!  If you did it for so long, you can do it again and even better smile. 

      Couldn't you drink moderately after such a long break?

      I am asking this because my dream is to be able to drink in a controlled way and not just use it as a crutch when there are problems or feel depressed.

      What are you using to help you with?

      Many thanks and wish you the strength too.

      XX

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