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Using alcohol to cope with anxiety + depression

Posted , 12 users are following.

mary8693
mary8693

I think it must be true what they say about one has to hit rock bottom before deciding giving up drinking. I tried many times and failed.  I am now trying again.  This my 4th day and don't have long time  projects.  I try to do it a day at a time and when I feel like a drink I try to go over all the list of pain and problems that alcohol has been causing me for years in my life.  It is v early days but the main thing is that now I feel I have no more options left.  It is staying sobre or losing completely control over my life... Thanks for listaning and sharing.  Wish you strength.  M

2 likes, 22 replies

22 Replies

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  • Leilalouise
    Leilalouise mary8693

    Posted

    Hi Mary I'm in the same situation you do have to hit rock bottom which I have , I am only starting my journey and like you I can't wait to feel the benefits of quitting due to physical symptoms, 4 days that brilliant keep up the good luck keep strong and try not to look back look at the amazing future you will have x

    • mary8693
      mary8693 Leilalouise

      Posted

      Thanks Leilalouise.  I am quite fearful and anxious.  But it will keep getting better.  It would be nice not feeling guilty or sick... How many days of sobriety has been for you?  I am glad for you :-) and wish you find the strength you need.

      M x

    • Leilalouise
      Leilalouise mary8693

      Posted

      I only started posting today as of tomorrow I am determined to be sober, alcohol has been controlling my life for around 18 years , and I'm so tired and fed up it's definitely breaking point for me, I wake up with guilt everyday that oh I've done it again and it's became a vicious circle, we can do this it's great how supportive everyone on here is x

    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 Leilalouise

      Posted

      Good replies from LeilaLouise and Mary indeed!! your journey has just started and please try to stick to being sober. Robin
    • mary8693
      mary8693 Leilalouise

      Posted

      Leilalouise, we are on the same boat.

      I am tired and fed up.  It is awful living with the guilt day in day out.

      Let me know how you are doing.  We should hold hands and keep going.

      Yes, it is nice being here and getting so much understanding and support.  It means a lot.

      Hug,

      M x

       

  • RHGB
    RHGB mary8693

    Posted

    You don't have to hit rock bottom, that is a misnomer. Real rock bottom can mean death or serious damage to the internal organs. Usually we get a jolt, that stirs us into action and gives us some determination to do something about it.

    How long have you been drinking for?

    • mary8693
      mary8693 RHGB

      Posted

      I don't know how much damage there is to my health but there must be some I guess.

      There was always alcohol around in my family but looking back I can see that my consumption and dependancy kept consistently increasing.  It is time to draw a line and find a better way of being.

      I feel awfully tired and sad too...

       

    • ADEfree
      ADEfree mary8693

      Posted

      Mary, the classic point of view is that people return to drinking because they haven't hit rock bottom and/or they aren't making good choices. That premise is obsolete. Alcohol addiction is actually a medical condition that comes about due to the changes alcohol makes in the brain. Have a look at this link, under the heading for The Sinclair Method:

      https://patient.info/forums/discuss/useful-resources-487627

      Also, google:

      Claudia Christian TEDx talk

      This will tell you why you have tried and failed so many times, as do the lion's share of those that try to quit drinking by following the traditional "treatment" guidelines. 

    • Kerry78042
      Kerry78042 mary8693

      Posted

      The link that ADE has sent you and the Claudia Christian talk on TED was a huge turning point for me - after watching that I read up about TSM and received so much help on here that I know my life will change for the better now - yours can too - take the advice from the people on here that you will soon realise know exactly what they're talking about! I'm only a few days in so on auto-excited-burble 😃 But a much preferred feeling to desperately craving my next drink! 😬

  • gwen45436
    gwen45436 mary8693

    Posted

    Hi mary, glad you posted - great guys on here.  I think maybe by "rock bottom" you probably mean in your head - you are not at rock bottom in reality.  I know  you get to a point when you are sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and waking up in the morning with the guilts.  Then the day starts all over again.  You are being pro-active and that is positive and you are taking control.  You may or may not need some help with meds and the guys will explain.  I, so far, have tapered down by about 65% and can see and feel the difference.  You will too, and that spurs you on.  You start realising you are not so knackered - it is so good.

    I, too, have tried and failed so many times - I have been drinking every day for about 40 years - but the last year got real bad in terms of upping the ante - and I knew I was on a hiding to hell.  I confessed to my doc who just referred me to Alcohol Recovery which is not in my area - no thanks, not my scene.  So I demanded my willpower would come forward and save me - so far it is doing me proud and please let it stay that way.   Lots of us on here have a (in our mind) good reason for blanking out stuff in our past - and I really have - but that keeps going on and on when suddenly the lightbulb moment struck and I realised, well what is done is in the past - I can't live in the past anymore, I need to live in the future just like so many of us here.

    Whatever had you take to the bottle is in the past now - your future is with your stronger way of thinking, it has to be because as the TV advert says "You are worth it".

    Keep calm and follow these posts.

    G.

    • mary8693
      mary8693 gwen45436

      Posted

      Thanks Gwen.  You described so much better the way I feel than I did it myself.  Also, as you rightly say one of my reason for turning to alcohol was to blank the past hurts but it took me some time to realise that I was just making things worse for myself.  I just pray I will learn to cope better with anxiety, fears and upset that life can throw at us...

      Nice talking to you,

      M.

       

  • Joanna-SMUKLtd
    Joanna-SMUKLtd mary8693

    Posted

    The 'rock bottom' concept is an outdated one.

    Do we tell people addicted to smoking to keep smoking until they get lung cancer, or do we encourage them to seek early treatment?

    Do we tell a woman who finds a lump in their breast to ignore it until it becomes life threatening, or do we encourage them to seek early treatment?

    Do we tell those with diabetes to carry on as they are until the early diabetes become type 2 diabetes and in the process shorten their life and damage their internal organs, or do we encourage them to seek early treatment?

    Hopefully, you see my point.

    There are many ways to treat the various stages of alcohol use disorder, and the earlier help is sought, the better.  When that rock bottom concept was 'born', we knew nothing about the brain and how the pathways that influence the reward system in the brain are changed when alcohol (or drugs) are involved.  Each time you drink, there is a pathway in your brain that goes 'wow, that was a nice sensation, what a nice hit of chemicals that released'.  So, if caught early, before that pathway becomes super strengthened and starts endlessly to want (crave) alcohol, the easier it is to interrupt the process.

    As I say, many treatments are available - including some safe, and non-addictive medications - that can help you weaken and eventually completely break down that strengthened pathway in your brain that now associates alcohol = chemical reward.

    If you break your leg would you hobble around without an aid, or would you take the crutch that is offered and use it to support you until you heal?

    • mary8693
      mary8693 Joanna-SMUKLtd

      Posted

      You are right Joanna, thanks.  But  I meant "rock bottom" psychologically.  Also my life became more complicated than necessary.  Sure the earlier one realises and gets out of the vicious circle the better it is.

  • deirdre._03652
    deirdre._03652 mary8693

    Posted

    Hi Mary and Leilalouise....i can so empathise with you both,,,alcoholism is not fun...

    I had a VERY, very, bad alcohol problem for more than ten years, I was SECTIONED four times...weighed 5st 10lbs, near death quite a few times...i never ate, I just drank...went from wine....to vodka...then on to cheap white cider....

    I admit , I was forced into stopping...but my God..!!!! I have got my life back..i feel healthy, I do not avoid seeing anyone I know...i actually like myself again. And I am not SCARED STIFF 24 hrs a day...

    You can do it, honestly...ask your GP for help, also your local DRUGS AND ALCOHOL SUPPORT TEAM...for help...

    Remember,, !!! WE are not bad...weak...stupid...evil...selfish people...we have a problem that we loathe, and we also hate ourselves...you can get help from many services, PLEASE ask your gp...

    You can get your life back..even better than before !!!! Because, you have had the COURAGE. AND THE STRENGTH...to overcome, an ABSOLUTELY Hellish addiction...it takes guts, hard work, and many tears....

    Your life will be wonderful, you will have great empathy and understanding of others facing their terrifying demons !!!

    Hold your head up high...if you slip...just pick yourself up !! And carry on...you can. And will get there...

    We all deserve to be sober, and to like ourselves once more....we are not BAD...EVIL OR WEAK...we just react differently to others...i wish you both...and all others, hope...joy...love...peace...and a wonderful future....the future you SO..SO..SO DESERVE,..XXX my motto is...never give up...giving up....much love...warm hugs,...and truly sincere love to all who are struggling at the moment....you WILL GET THERE, HONESTLY...TRULY...AND VERY, VERY, VERY ...PROUDLY XXXXXXX

    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 deirdre._03652

      Posted

      HI Deidre..what a story and I do remember you from the previous posts. How long sober may I ask?? You are an inspiration to us all. Robin
    • mary8693
      mary8693 deirdre._03652

      Posted

      Hi Deirdre,

      Many thanks for your lovely letter that gave me hope and strength to face the day. 

      I am so glad you have your life back and can enjoy being you.

      Yes, people consider you bad and selfish; they don't know that the more you hate yourself the more you are bound to drink. 

      I tried AA many times but didn't work for me.

      Now I know it is down to me.

      It is my 5th day.  I can't think about the future.  I just keep going.

      I am grateful for the understanding and the support I find here.

      It does really help.

      Big hug to you and best wishes,

      Mary

    • deirdre._03652
      deirdre._03652 Robin2015

      Posted

      Yes Robin, I have posted on this sad xxx but also inspirational topic....alcohol the highly

      Addictive problem...nowadays....almost every single one, will make you desire another....

      But ROBIN...we can, and will be sober,,,we DESERVE TO....much respect, warm hugs...and very, very, very good wishes for your future....

      HUGS...hugs.....hugs.....hugs.....hugs.....I ALWAYS, my friend...much love today and everyday....xxxxx

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