vaginal dryness

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Please help i am 58 years old i have been married for nearly 40 years and i love my  husband so much.  It hurts so much when we try and make love i am dry and sore and although he is very understanding i do not want to give up my sex life.  Yes products help a little but it still burns so badly.  I also have lichen sclerosus i feel such a mess.

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  • Posted

    I hear you Jackie. Have you tried Dermeze? There are products to help. Have you talked to your doctor? The Dermeze is a moisturiser similar to Vaseline. Others that help replace hormones such as vagifem. I am 70 so can relate. It does get better. I find I can have sex once a month or so without too much trouble. I would never do,it two days running for example. I am sorry for your distress and hope your doctor can assist you.
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  • Posted

    Thanks Kathleen i have tried vagifem but i am reluctant to go down the hormonal road because these seemed to give me blinding headaches when i tried them a few months ago, maybe i should perservere.
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    • Posted

      I hate the vagifem and do not bother with it. It does not agree with me. My husband is 72 so occasional sex is enough when I feel guilty enough to decide it is time to do the deed again lol. It is not all there is about a 50 year marriage.
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  • Posted

    Hi Jackie, I know how you feel. Are you treating the LS? I am 64 and still enjoy having sex with my hubby, I did go through a phase of dryness I think due to menapause.  I use lots of lubrication during sex and also use emu oil daily to keep my female parts protected and moisturised (I use after going to toilet during course of the day). I also use vasalene as an alternative t emu oil if I am out and about) Not sure if this helps but don't give up, keep trying different lubrications and oils to see what works for you, but does not make the LS flare up. 
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    • Posted

      Hi Suzanne i am treating the LS by using dermovate twice weekly. Is the emu oil really messy.  I have tried coconut oil but it wasnt for me it actually made me more sore.
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    • Posted

      Hi Jackie, I don't find the Emu Oil messy. But it is really good and makes my girlie buts feel nice and smooth. But you have to find what suits you as we area also different. I wish to well.
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  • Posted

    Hi Jackie , l am your age with the same problem l have just been put on Estriol cream , this is HRT just for the vagina and surrounding area it keeps the bladder well too , my consultant says ot will take 6 months to see really good results as it as to imbed itself into the whole area . Hopefully this plus lubriciants inside plus a period when the LS is behaving itself might mean making love is possible .l inject the cream directly inside the vagina , it does not spread to anywhere else in your body , my breasts hurt a little at the begining l took it daily for 2 weeks then twice a week thereafter . It will be reviewed after 6 months

    . I too have a lovely husband l am really grateful for that , its not easy for him .l hope you find an answer and l have been a little help. Take care x

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    • Posted

      We are very lucky to have understanding husbands, but it still makes me feel like i am a bit of a failure.  I was put on gynst with is an HRT cream but they took me off it because it was only for short term,  thats why i am now on vagifem (is this the same as your Estriol) but i do get severe headaches, trying a more natural approach but i am not sure the water based pessaries work.
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    • Posted

      Hi Jackie, l know what you mean about the guilt l feel thst way too, sometimes l panic that he will go off with someone l have a very attractive friend , a widow and l know for a fact she likes him , but l cannot help it , if the boot was on the other foot l would stay with him . There is no point worrying it only makes the LS worse!

      I dont know if what your taking is the same as me. If your getting bad headaches you should tell the docter its tricky stuff hrt . My GP would not give me it but the consultant said GP,s worry about cancer , l am seeing.a gynaecologist to keep a look out for any signs of cancer so l feel quite safe. I have never tried pessarasies so l cannot comment l was told HRT also helps LS which so far l agree with . We just have to try and keep cheerful always looking to enjoy ourselves at every opportunity , because that helps all these weird problems we have. We are not alone and that helps . Take care x

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  • Posted

    You women with lovely long-term husbands are so lucky. I've had to give up and it's become another brick in the wall, so the four-year relationship I've been in is ending. I believe LS has helped ruin my sex life for 40 years. I'm done with men.
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    • Posted

      Hi Morrell , l have been thinking about you , wondering why you seem to been quite lately, so sorry this has happened to you . Dont let it get you down , be positive , thats what comes across when you write on here , your advice as helped me so much. Get to know and love yourself , enjoy the freedom and the freedom from the guilt that comes with not being able to perform in the bedroom. Have a good scream get it off your chest then get on with building your life up again.

      Your starting a new chapter in your life and l wish you well in it , take care xx

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    • Posted

      Thanks, Win. It's a good move. I moved to a little house in the country ten years ago to be a hermit and make art. After three years I got sidetracked by men. I'm getting back on track now. I'm fantastically fortunate to have a large circle of women artist friends and quite a few are single. I guess this last chapter was my final stab at having a good sex life. It's never been really important to me, so there will, as you say, be a sense of freedom. I was quite happily celibate from age 50 to 57. No idea what got into me. But my life is much richer now, so the temptation won't be there.
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    • Posted

      Sorry to hear that you've been through a very rough period. Not easy, I'm sure. Was wondering why you were a bit quieter than usual.  Perhaps you are experiencing liberating feelings at the same time.  We humans are so complex.  

      Only on this site can people understand the far reaching consequenses of LS and the intense loneliness that can also be part of it.  

      Wishing you well into a brighter and artful new life.

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    • Posted

      Thanks, Hanny. Cautionary tale of the easy connectiona available online. You meet someone who doesn't live near you and you wind up living together before you know each other at all. But we made good use of the years and are both better off. We know ourselves better and we've gained friends, community and skills. Financially, there's something to be said for pooling resources during hard times. Sounds cold, but it's positive from that perspective.
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    • Posted

      All's rather well then.  Glad to hear that.  Humans do need each other and we can be practical about that as well.  I hope all didn't affect you physically too much.  LS didn't flare up, did it? Or your psoriasis? You've been trying new meds as well - Tra....  How is that going?
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    • Posted

      No, everything's very calm and good now. Even the psoriasis on my scalp is good. I'm happy so far with the tacrolimus.
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    • Posted

      I am sorry to hear that..you must be feeling quite wretched, its a shame for sure..hope you are not feeling too upset.

      Best to you x

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    • Posted

      Neither wretched nor upset, quite the contrary. Counting the days (three weeks or so) till he moves. We'll stay close friends, but I'm over the moon to be getting my space back. I'm a natural hermit. It's not as if we were married thirty years and I had his kids. We met online four years ago and moved in together almost immediately. We're opposites in half a dozen ways. LS is a very small aspect of it. It played a part in our decline, but it's only about 10% of the problem.
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    • Posted

      Glad to hear that you're positive and upbeat. You've been so helpful and  supportive to us all on this forum - don't forget we're all here for you if there's anything we can do in return

       

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    • Posted

      Thanks, Kate. I've been away all week at a fibre art retreat. My soon-to-be-ex has been busy organizing his stuff. We're in very good shape. I've been telling my friends, who seem to be talking a lot about their husbands to me, that comparing their long marriages to my four year internet hookup is apples and oranges. We're just going off to the next stages of our lives.
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