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cherl450
cherl450

Omg did i have the night from hell i was in terrible pain all over and only managed 1and half hours sleep because of the pain and the other day i lost my balance and hit my toes againts my steps and have maged to break two of them so more pain as well so not good and on top of that i accused my very carring hubby of having an affair i think im getting too parnoid its because the last 6 months i have lost intrestin all sexual things can anyone tell me if this hashaoened to them and how can i get some of that back i know my hubby says it doesnt bother hime but hes always making sexual jokes like if i say things like can you put this in so i think hes frustratedand i dont blame him so how can i get that back as i love hubby so much yet scared i might drive him away so having a very low day and still in terribe pain thanks for listening x

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  • anne90395
    anne90395 cherl450

    Posted

    Hello Cherl,

    Sorry to hear about your problems, mind you it has generated an intersting discussion. Have no helpful suggestions I'm afraid, but hope you get back on track with hubby.

    Take care,Anne

    • cherl450
      cherl450 anne90395

      Posted

      Hi there Anne

      thanks for you your kind thoughts and yes been a discussion with lots of helpful ideas xx im sure me and huby will sort it out soon

      love cherl

  • caitriona47134
    caitriona47134 cherl450

    Posted

    Hi Cheryl, sorry to hear you're having such a bad time.

    I've had fibromyalgia for over 18months but only been diagnosed for a month so this is still a good bit of a learning process for me but from what I've read, I think the loss of sexual desire is quite normal. Before I had fibro I had a very high sex drive, but since getting it it has slowly disappeared. Personally, for me, it's a mixture of pain, being constantly exhausted and feeling insecure (I've gained weight because of inactivity and the lyrica) but what I understand I think a lot of people stop having sex because of the fatigue and they find it painful.

    It's normal for your relationship to be feeling a bit off, I think fibro puts strain on every relationship regardless of the sex drive. Maybe look up a few articles about it and sit down and really explain to your husband whats going on with your body and mental well-being. It took me a long time to realise that my boyfriend had no clue what I was experiencing and therefore couldn't be empathic to the situation until I really informed him of how everything is a struggle for me (from getting ready to trying to stay focused in social situations to making food). Then maybe have a talk and see if the two of you can figure out ways to make sex easier and pleasurable for you (maybe try toys or low-energy foreplay so it feels good instead of like work, there are a ton of websites that give detailed 'reviews' of positions that rate their level of energy and flexiblity needed).

    I'm sure once you're able to find the right arrangement of meds and get a good sleeping pattern in your life you'll feel better about everything.

    Best of luck, hope you feel better soon.

    • cherl450
      cherl450 caitriona47134

      Posted

      Hi there hun

      i ahve take on board what you say and will look into it, had a good day yesterday untill i started a row with hubby today isnt so good as do have a painful body today but hey ho thats life, i take pregablin and a mixture of othe pain illers it does say on mine can cause weight gain and although im eating more im losing lots of weight i used to be a size 20 imnow a size 12 to 14 which is amazing but although im eating more i make sure its healthy things too but to loose so much weight in just a few moths is worrying ,but anyway thanks again take care all the best

      Love and peace 

      Cherl xxx

    • caitriona47134
      caitriona47134 cherl450

      Posted

      I'm on pregabalin too, how are you finding it? What dose are you on?

      My rheumatologist told me that neurotransmitters that are sent from parts of your body to the brain are normally filtered out by seratoin, but with fibro they aren't being filtered and the brain is interpreting every transmitter as a pain signal therefore causing us to be in pain everywhere all the time and then because we think our, lets us leg as an example, is in pain the muscles tense to protect it, but the muscles tensing for so long causes the aches we feel. So maybe to tackle both problems you could ask your husband to give you a gentle massage, it could ease your pain and relax your body, maybe even turn you on which would make sex a bit easier too smile

      You could talk it over with your doctor if it would be helpful for you to on a low dose of an anti-depressant to increase the seratoin and block some of the transmitters. 

      The weight loss is worrying but I'm sure the doctors will figure it out soon and help smile Do you find eating healthy helps you feel better?

       

    • grahammolyneux
      grahammolyneux caitriona47134

      Posted

      My problem  with  being  diagnosed with fibro is that once you  mention the diagnosis is that everyone you talk to  about  an injury they immediately say "that will be the fibro"

      I had it recently with a radiologist when in fact I had a haematoma under the tendons to my thumb.....caused by a junior doctor pushing a cannula needle straight through my vein.

      I suppose my comment belongs in a new thread really .

      I used to massage  my wife with warm oil which  led led to more until she had breast cancer so she. She has now recovered and she is back at work making up for the fact I am unable to work. 

      I wish we could have an intimate relationship again but at the moment it is me that is struggling and my wife is to tired......"catch 22" I think the phrase is

    • caitriona47134
      caitriona47134 grahammolyneux

      Posted

      I was having a conversation about that with my boyfriend a week ago. I feel like I should mention everything to the doctor because I don't know if it's the fibro or something else. I'm driving them nuts I'd say lol  It's hard not having a guide of what pains are normal and what aren't. 

      How long did it take them to realise there was a problem?? 

      I used to love massaging my boyfriend but it hurts my hands too much now, and he's stopped massaging me because it hurts more than it helps. 

      I'm glad to hear she's better, it must have been mixed emotions for you to see her cured, over the moon because she's healthy but jealous because we don't have a cure.. I don't mean that in a malicious way and I'm sorry if I over-stepped a boundary but I know I get jealous of people who have a cure. 

      You could try at whatever time of day you feel you have the most energy, like mornings or after a nap. If sex is becoming a burden and feels like work then maybe just try oral or use toys for a while, I'm sure she wouldn't mind lol

       

    • grahammolyneux
      grahammolyneux caitriona47134

      Posted

      I had difficulty with  her in the year after her finishing her treatment  as I  found a job that suited her to a Tee, because we never seen her as she found it easier to be at work than at home which strained our relationship as a family to breaking  point. 

      Then this hit me like a train following a series of injuries and now I am the one that is not able to work and that is hard as I am chasing the Dr's for a cure that just isn't there.

      As far as play is....We can't find a middle ground at the minute 

    • cherl450
      cherl450 grahammolyneux

      Posted

      HIya hun

      My heart goes out to you i know the feeling well and how hard it can be chin up and keeping smiling im sure one day their will be a break through

      love always 

      cherl

      xxxxxx

    • cherl450
      cherl450 caitriona47134

      Posted

      HI there hun

      Yes eating healty does help alot, when i was an inpaitent with my heart a nurse told me if i eat alot more fish it will make my skin more health and help me she wasnt wrong my skin is wonderful and i feel better for eating a good healthy diet im on 600 mg of pregabalin plus all other pain meds as well i am also lots of heart meds and lots of iron tablets b12 and vitim d tablets they did try me on aamtrplin but that aggreivated my ibs so took me and they are looking into to others im also being refered to pain clinic and that,at the moment i cant bare anyone touching me because of the pain i hope to get more good days then i can give my love to hubby more 

      but thanks hun 

      love always

      Cherl

      xxx

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