Very Sad

Posted , 7 users are following.

I'm 65 and my wife has stop desiring sex for about 15yrs . I'd rather have sex with her but what can you really do. I've been masturbating since I was about 10yrs. old and it hasn't killed me yet in fact my doctor says it's good for me. I do have an enlarge prostate but that just comes with age 😦

0 likes, 32 replies

Report

32 Replies

Next
  • Posted

    I presume that you discussed her reasons for this 15 years ago. Why not shock her by asking if you can go elsewhere. Explain to her that proper sex is good for your prostate. Perhaps she has a vibrator that she uses when you are at work so does not need you.

    Report Reply
    • Posted

      Not a very nice thing to suggest Derek if you don't mind me saying! If you love someone, you don't threaten to go and have sex with someone else. You try and discuss the problem gently!

      Report Reply
    • Posted

      He didn't say he still loves her and she basically has cut him out of her life. He doesn't say how well they get on or what the rest of their life together is like. They have had 15 years to discuss the problem and presumably did.

      He has evidently raised the matter with their doctor perhaps they should discuss it together with him or go to Relate.

      Report Reply
    • Posted

      He didn't say she had cut him out of his life, just that she didn't want sex any more. Yes I agree that Relate would be a good idea if they are both willing as a third person might help them listen to each other's needs. It takes two to make a marriage work and when there is a problem, each needs to hear the other and respect them.

      Report Reply
    • Posted

      I actually meant a major part of their life. But that part must lead to other problems in the intimacy of living together. Does she ever visualise what he is having to do in private ?

      Report Reply
    • Posted

      Maybe she does but it seems as if there is a breakdown in their communication with each other so couples counselling could really help them both.

      Report Reply
    • Posted

      If you only knew. if there's anybody that believes an open line of communication that's me. typically men keep a tight lip if they're not happy which turns out tragic in a relationship and stupidity on their part. no you're definitely wrong on this I've done everything possible to be open about the problem but still she would rather not talk about it. we're not newlyweds either going on 48 years of marriage I would have never thought we would have this kind of an issue. but like I said it is what it is and I have learned to live with this circumstance.

      Report Reply
    • Posted

      she she doesn't even no what I'm doing it's all done in . I'm sure she wouldn't approve. I have seeked help from my medical professional, family members and a close friend. and all agree that I have made every effort possible to make things better.

      Report Reply
    • Posted

      I did some research on what was going on and I realized that menopause played a big part in this problem. it was recommended to me that she might need hormone treatment but she said she would have no part in that due to the health risk.

      Report Reply
    • Posted

      It sounds a sad situation all round. I hope things work out for you both. It's nothing to do with anyone but you two but as you posted it on this forum, people will have an opinion and make suggestions, which is all I was trying to do.

      Report Reply
    • Posted

      No I didn't Derek. I have my own views. It's great for both in a relationship if sex is still important and very difficult if one's sex drive diminishes. I hope things will work out for the chap who wrote on the forum.

      Report Reply
    • Posted

      She is probably past the age when hormone therapy would help. How is her general and mental health. She is of an age when a medical check up and blood tests might be of benefit. You never know she may have worries about her health and many ladies hide them out of fear or embarrassment of examination. Often better to see the practice nurse than a male GP.

      Report Reply
    • Posted

      Presumably as reluctant to even discuss it with you she will not have confided in anyone else or did any family members raise it with her after you spoke to them. Does she have any sisters?

      Report Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report as inappropriate

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up