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Watching my mother suffer - Hip Replacement

Posted , 10 users are following.

diane3103
diane3103

Hi All.  I'm looking for some advice as I don't know how to best deal with this. My mum is 75 and is struggling to walk only a few steps because both of her hips need replacing.  We have recently seen an NHS consultant who has been very empathetic and not at all pushy who has explained to her her situation, her poor bone density and the rapid deterioration of her hips.  All the family are so dreadfully worried about her.  Her quality of life has deteriorated massively over the last 18 months and we are all petrified of her slipping and falling as she now only shuffles around and can barely walk.  The pain, at times, I know is unbearable for her and yet she is resisting going for the operation for her first hip.  We are all really concerned for her quality of life but also the impact that this will have on those that are around her.  My Dad is finding her increasingly difficult to live with and we are all worried that what is left of her life, she will spend sitting in a chair or worse she will become so riddled with pain she will end up unable to walk.  I don't want to sound as though I am a bully because I totally understand that anyone who would be facing such an operation would be fearful and full of anxiety and I don't want to coerce her into anything.  But, I feel she has'nt fully considered her decision not go ahead with this operation.  I really want to hear both sides of this arguement/debate and would appreciate any comments that anyone has. 

3 likes, 21 replies

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  • hope4cure
    hope4cure diane3103

    Posted

    She is really hurting. I sympathize with you your mom and your family. It's always a difficult decision. As long as she is healthy to have surgery then it's time to stop the pain and for her to regain her mobility.

    I was frightened to hear the news that I had to have hip replacement.

    What are the alternatives still the suffering and pain. This disease will only get worse. My dr. emphasized to me it's important not to wait to long and risk more bone loss, necrosis, this is a fix for the pain. How lucky is that. So many diseases do not have that option. She will be able to walk again and function on her own without the pain. I don't understand why she isn't given pain meds for her present condition. 

    I would encourage her to have the surgery. What are the alternatives total loss mobility compared to new joints. 

    Always be be sure the THR doc has years of experience and ask about the type and what manufacturer of the implant. Ask the doc to see the joint components and be sure there are no metal on metal components.

    This surgery will give her back her mobility. She will have her life back again. It takes months of heeling to be honest. But the pain does get better and pain meds after surgery helps so much. Next year at this time after THR this will only be a faint memory of her current suffering.  Walking with bone on bone is excruciating. If one waits to long the is a risk of not having enough bone stock to have THR is possible.

    Please check with the UK national joint registry they have all the date needed to make a good decision for UR mom. 

    (((Hugs))) 

    Hope 

     

  • Kate53CornUK
    Kate53CornUK diane3103

    Posted

    Hello Diane,  at 52 and 6 weeks post op I am already starting to shout from the rooftops about the positive effects. The trouble is your mum probably won't hear me!

    What she might hear is a bit of reverse psychology.........

    "Mum, what if I said to you, I am in morbid pain, I can't walk, I have no quality of life, my husband is suffering as are my children. I can have an operation that will help and give me back my life.

    What would you say to me?"

  • briskwalk
    briskwalk diane3103

    Posted

    This post is six months old...by now her mum will have done the op and recovered fully, we hope!
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