We know our bodies, we know how it was before menopause came along.

Posted , 16 users are following.

Today is one of those days where I just want to b***h slap the professionals. I work in health care too, and the professionals have admitted they are not educated enough on Menopause. The stories I have been reading from women these last two months have been grueling. I have cried many times reading what you're all going through. Its the same story after another..... What's it going to take for these health care professionals to start educating themselves on Menopause. This is not a laughing matter, this is serious s**t. 30% of men leave their spouses during menopause, there has been a 45% increase rate of women committing suicide in the last 15 years over menopause, many women can't work; They have been forced to quit, get fired, collect disability, short term disability, go out on FMLA. Whats it going to take to get ALL MEDICAL CARE STAFF on board with this? I sound p****d, and I am, but I'm justified. Enough is enough..... I'm more educated then the professionals. I've spent over $300.00 in the last 2 weeks just on natural products because one, I'm allergic to anti depressants and my OB refuses to put me on hormones due to past history issues. I'd rather live a damn normal life for the next 10 years and feel somewhat normal then to have to worry about the consequences later. I know my body better than anyone else. But yet you want to rule my feelings, emotions, and deprive me of having a normal life? The system is effed up! And honestly, I'm so fed up..... My advice, because that's all I got right now; Be your own advocate and don't be afraid to speak out. I don't sleep, I have extreme anxiety, panic attacks, fainted, no bladder control, barely eat, afraid something will trigger my anxiety, I live off vitamins, cream, CBD, vitamin D, Magnesium, and so much more. I've become paranoid, living in fear constantly, and yet all blood work and other tests come back normal. Oh and lets not forget we're being told, no caffeine, no alcohol, no cigarettes, no sugar, etc. BLAH BLAH BLAH.....  Oh and then there's prayer, yep, been there done that too. Yep just commit me, I could use a damn vacation. Vent done..... 

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  • Posted

    so true , they just havent got a clue what we go through , our lives are changed so much , for the worse !!! anxiety depression , no appetite , nausea , back pain ( chronic )  !! , headaches etc etc , how are we woman supposed to function ?? its so hard , my love to you all x
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  • Posted

    B.R.A.V.O.
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  • Posted

    BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO

    Could not have put it better myself.

    What a load of s**t then some!!!!

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  • Posted

    Hi Theresa!  Will you all the way on this. I am better this year than last...my symptoms are still awful...but I am more educated.   I had to stop working the beginning of last year...self employed...denied disability...sucks.  One of my children has severe special needs, I have advocated for him for years with tenacity.  I have applied that same mindset to myself now dealing with drs....weeded through plenty in the last year.  Finally, for now, pleased with my obgyn and primary.  But, it is appalling that even some of the female drs are ignorant on the subject!  I am sorry you are in this predicament and are unable to get on hormones through your dr.  Thank you for your post, at least here, it does not fall on deaf ears.  😉

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  • Posted

    Amen ! Well said . I’ll be 50 next month and have all them symptoms and feel like my life was ripped from me when all this crap started.  I asked my FP to get some blood work done to see how my estrogen and progestin look and their reply was , I’m to young to even worry about them levels yet . Omg!!! They have no idea what it’s like cause they haven’t been through it . 
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  • Posted

    I agree with you that the doctors don't have a clue when it comes to menopause, even some of the females which is mind-blowing. We do know our bodies better than they do. I am like you in that I can't take certain medications because of how I react to them. I just take each day as it comes and at the end of each day I thank God I made it through. Hope things will improve for you soon. Take care.

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  • Posted

    Another rough morning! When will end? One of those days where I could just stay in bed and sleep. Fatigue and hot flashes are unbearable this morning. And I loaded myself up with all natural products and still suffering. 
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  • Posted

    I hear ya!

    My goal, if I was to survive all this, was to go back and educate all the crap specialists I saw who knew nothing. 

    I was so mad the other day, there was a post on FB where it gave symptoms of a patient and you were supposed to guess what was wrong. A middle aged woman with severe pain in her upper abdomen, etc.. Well my guess, and I was half kidding, but not, was perimenopause. Well this woman responds to me saying “As usual, the go to diagnosis for those who have no desire to find the issue”. Talk about wanting to b#*%  slap her!

     

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    • Posted

      I remember when I first started googling my symptoms all this other stuff would come up but never any mention of menopause. I almost feel like there's something they're hiding when it comes to menopause. Oh, but let me guess, that would make me paranoid. Nope we can't win. smile

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    • Posted

      The only way I figured out what was going on was finding this forum! I was so convinced I had some sort of cancer from googling all my symptoms. And couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t showing up on any tests.

      Why do they always list the worse case scenario when you google something?  

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  • Posted

    One more thing to add to this forum, which is very sad. I lost my mother 4 years ago so i can't go to her. My father, he's in his own world. My ex-husband divorced me in June 2016 and made sure to ruin me by telling my friends and my daughter that he left because I was a raging b***h, and I was but at the same time I was menopausal and he was having an affair. My daughter wont talk to me and I've tried to get her involved with the menopause I'm going through, I even asked her to see the OB with me to help her understand menopause. She refused by saying she had to work and she makes her own schedule. My daughter is 33 years old, you would think she would be a bit more mature about the severity of this, but just the opposite. She's completely dismissed me and my feelings and have become close with my ex-husband "who isn't her father, and is also working for my Ex's new lover." Not only am I going through menopause, but not being close to my baby girl has added rejection, hurt and stress to my life. I feel completely alone and I live alone. Its sad when you can't count on your family. My daughter and I use to be so close too. I really miss her. Unfortunately I don't trust anyone because this is such a touchy subject, not everyone gets it. Excuse me while I go to the bathroom and let the tears flow. Thanks for listening. 

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    • Posted

      Theresa what you're going through is awful. When I went to something similar I went to the bathroom as well and cried. As I was crying I looked in the mirror I saw myself and said why are you crying? Your daughter will get her jyst cause when she starts me no. Will you comfort her?

      Girl stand up and be STRONG. Don't let those no good a holes make you feel like spittle on the ground. Don't beg for no one's love or understanding.

      You know the deal, When people see that you're down and out they have no time for you. You're killing your heart and soul. You don't need that right now. Excuse me but your daughter has no respect for you, and your ex is a duck head. Stand up Theresa you're

      a strong and lovely lady😊

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    • Posted

      Hi Theresa, thank god you are rid of him.  I know that your daughter favoring one side over another is a kick in the teeth.  In time, she will learn there are never 2 sides to a story...more like 50. I know you feel horrible, however,  Find some type of happiness...otherwise this will eat you up.  
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    • Posted

      I think our kids are just so wrapped up in their own lives they just don’t get it. My daughter came to visit me two years ago when I was going through the worse of it and saw me shaking and sickly, then I think she started getting worried. But both my kids came home for Christmas that year and did nothing but fight and I begged them to stop, that I couldn’t deal with it. The next year they did the same thing. Very selfish. Hopefully they will grow up one day, guess when they have their own children maybe.

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    • Posted

      Theresa, that very same daughter is going to be coming to you later on with questions about menopause. You can say that you were trying to prepare her. I wish I had someone prepare me. My mother is 87 years old and doesn't remember how it was. My older sister is going through it but doesn't like to talk about it. My other older sister and I are pretty close and we talk about it every now and then. But sometimes as we go through this, you are alone or at least you feel like you are. I remember when I started going through this I started go ogling my symptoms and it led me directly to this forum. I thought I was dying. But after I read the posts from the other women I soon realized that I was in peri menopause. So glad I found this site.

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    • Posted

      I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter. I'm sure that is very, very hard to deal with. My son came home to celebrate his dads birthday a couple weeks after all my symptoms got very bad last summer. They had all just started and I didn't know what was wrong with me and figured I was dying. I was not in a good place physically or mentally. I looked very haggard and had already lost noticeable weight. He came popping in and was rude about my appearance and then after only 30 minutes or so of being here and seeing I was not happy go lucky mom I always had been, he started questioning me. I told him what was going on and he brushed me off and insulted me. My husband ( his dad) defended me but wasn't rude at alll to him and my son got belligerent and left! He drove 4 hrs back from where he had just driven! Didn't stay to celebrate his dads bday and was just such a jerk about it! He is still dismissive about how I am and how I'm feeling. He comes home every once in awhile ( he's 22) and we've had to have some very stern talks with him about how he acts when he is around me or he isn't invited to come home. That breaks my heart and p*sses me off at the same time. I know he loves me but boy can he be a jerk! Your daughter loves you too! No matter how she is behaving towards you, she loves you. I know it's not good what she's doing, but in time she will come back to you. Huge hugs

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    • Posted

      Theresa, I am sorry you seem to have lost your daughter through this. I hope she comes around and realizes how difficult everything was for you, for everyone. Have you written her a letter? Send her a link to your post here? Bug hugs to you.
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    • Posted

      I have thought about writing her a letter, I will put a plan together, I need to think it though, I really need her to understand because someday she'll go through it too, as my mother did as well. Thank you, she has the same as as you. Hugs 

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    • Posted

      My daughter does have a heart of gold. she's been through a lot too. I know that I've been angry for a long time now but certainly justified. Family loyalty means everything to me. All it takes is for someone to ask me and talk to me face to face. I've always been around people younger than me so of course, they would never think of menopause. My mother suffered bad from it, she was angry all the time, but she was still my mother and I always kept in touch and helped when I could. I think when she passed away the menopause set in at 100%. I only care about my daughter and grandson. My support comes from work, I have a wonderful boss and my coworkers have been there for me, thank god! My boss went through the same thing, I've been with the company for 4 years now and it was she who said, Theresa, you're going through menopause. My boss is not only my boss but my friend and mentor. My work place has become my family because I don't trust the outside world anymore. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Small circle works for me. But I do miss laughing with my daughter. But the same time, I don't want her and/or my grandson seeing me so depressed and full of anxiety, etc. I do the best I can to get by with what I have. I love the support from this forum. Thank you all so much for being there and I hope we make awareness happen on this topic. Hugs to all! 

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    • Posted

      My kids are still young and therefore do not understand what I'm going through. Thankfully I have had very few incidents where I let my symptoms stop me from doing what I need to for them. When they were much smaller I had to go to ER for panic attacks thinking it was my heart but they don't remember that. Any other times it was in the middle of the night after they were asleep so they never knew what was going on. I thank God this is happening now while they are young hopefully they won't remember me being weak and sometimes a grouch.

      I think in Audra's case with her son and in Theresa's case with her daughter, it might be hard for them to see you all like this. It may make them think about your mortality. They may be afraid. It reminds them that you are not the person that they once knew you to be and that scares them. They may feel like they will have to take care of you if anything happens and that responsibility is not something they bargained for. Anyway that's what came to me.

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    • Posted

      Thank you for your post sharcerv. I totally agree with you. I have been very sad with how my son has responded to me during this time. I have talked and cried about it with both my husband and mom many times. My mom told me my brother acts the same towards her and has for years. We decided it is because we are getting older and changing and it is bothering them and scaring them and while it's not the best response- it is their response and how they are trying to cope ( or deny) that we are aging. I have always been very close to my son that is acting this way ( I have 2) . He and I are very much alike and have always gotten along the best out of all my kids.  I know it is hard for him to see me getting older - heck, it's hard for me to see me getting older! 😋  I know as he gets a bit older and wiser he'll come to terms with it. I'm actually glad he wasn't living at home when all my symptoms started! It would have made it much harder for me and harder on him, I'm sure. Thank you for your kind response. 

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    • Posted

      I know it may hurt to have him react this way towards you but he probably can't process what you are going through and how it is affecting him. I have a son and a daughter. While I love them both, I'm closer to my son. I can only imagine how he would react if he saw me this way. I remember once I was taking my kids to the doctor for their check ups. He was five and my daughter was 9 months old. I had a panic attack as I was checking them out at the front desk at the end of their appointment. Thankfully the doctors and nurses were quick to assist me. But seeing me get sick right there in front of his eyes was hard for him. I remember him saying, "poor mommy!" with a cry in his voice. So I know boys can't handle their moms getting sick or old or anything. Mothers and sons usually have a strong bond. Just like daughters and fathers do. If my husband got sick my daughter would lose it.

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    • Posted

      Hi Sabrina, 

      I printed out this forum and wrote my daughter a letter and sent this all to her today. We shall see what happens once she gets the letter. Thank you for the advice! Hugs

      Theresa 

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