Week 4
Posted , 6 users are following.
So i am finally @ week 4, it has felt like a long time coming. At this present moment i feel good, up beat and optmistic. Last week i feel was maybe my worst week, i cut out 3 8mg tabs and at the beginning i did miss them but towards the end i found that i could go even longer than my usual 2 hour gap and even reached 3 1/2 hours gap but then i let myself down a took the one i missed and the one i was due together 
.I suffered from severe restless legs some nights and then other nights were fine, i find that hard to understand as i dont get why it only occurs some evenings not all? I still managed to take the same amount over all throughout the day.
This week i have cut out just one 8mg tab, i use to take 2 tabs in the morning, now just one and honestly i am not noticing the difference. I feel positive that i can beat this addiction. On a very good side i have not had to endure the stares from many pharmacists this week as only need 2 pks 32 to get me through the whole week. It was so nice to only have to visit 2 pharmacies and not have my whole weekend taken up by travelling to different pharmacies and to endure the awful stares and questioning looks they give you. And i am slightly better off than when i first started this journey.
Next week i plan to start spacing the gap in between doses starting with 3 hours next week, week after i plan to make the gap every 4 hours and so on week by week. I assume maybe the hard part will be once i have the gap at 8 hours i will then need to go down to 1/2 tab morning and night and then week after totally cut it all out. Even typing that feels so scary. I have used this drug for so long, it use to make me feel good and boost my confidence but slowly that stopped and it made me moody and depressed and i hate what i have become. I read in another post that you never truly return to your self as you was before codeine. I hope that is not the case, i understand i will never fully return but as close to the former me as possible would be great.
I am tempted to just cut them all out and go cold turkey but i have done cold turkey twice before and always end up back on them for some unknow reason, they seem to call to me.
As hard as it is i feel very positive and all you guys on here have been so helpful and i have gained so much information and knowledge on this addiction and how to beat it.
We can all do this.
1 like, 27 replies
jencs teresa36659
Posted
Well done Teresa, you are doing so well. I keep trying to cut down but life is so stressful atm, I use any excuse to take them and promise myself I will cut down tomorrow. Everyone seems to be leaning on me right now. My partner, daughter, mother, brother. All having problems and turning to me, I spent the whole day sorting out their problems and giving them support and ended up taking twice as much to get through it. That's on top of a bottle of wine and now today I feel terrible and feel really depressed, so have to take them to get through work! But tonight I will have an early night, stay off the sauce and start again tomorrow. I want to heal my mind and body as I'm so worried about what it's doing to my health. I just wish I had more time to focuds on me so I can get through this. Nobody knows I have this problem. I'm so glad I found this forum as I can finally relate to others in a similar position.
You're right
Let's do this!
rich_001 jencs
Posted
Hi Jencs, I relate well to the wine, the after effects and in my mind, the first thing to do is to feel normal, immediately! No matter how, so any thoughts of quitting pills go right out of the window. A couple of questions - how many and what species od the demon tablets do you consume daily, are you in a position to tell your partner? It does sound that there are many who rely on you in a big way, which naturally because you care, it's draining your resources, and that anxiety is amplified as they are unaware of your issue. I have tonnes of experience and am only too happy to help - this is a small group and what's said within this browser remains inside this browser - it sounds very much like you're ready fo this journey - time to pick up your weapons!
All the best,
Rich
jencs rich_001
Posted
Hey Rich, you're so good replying to everyone with kind and wise words. I take two as soon as I wake up (usually around 6.30) then continue to take two every three to four hours until I go to bed. Sunday though I took two every two hours from about four onwards. I have been getting good at cutting out the evening pills by takiing codeine phosphate. It helps to a certain extent and at least it reduces my ibuprofen intake and it does make me tired but then I find I wake up a lot in the night when I take it also. I am totally going to do this. I've only taken two today and told myself that I am never again going to allow myself to take them on an empty stomach ie. the moment I wake up! I used to be really into exercising but hardly done any recently so I'm off to my new gym induction on Friday! I could tell my partner but I just really don't want to. I suppose in my head if I sit him down and tell him I'm making it into a big deal. I just want to keep it in my mind as a small issue and some tiny pills that I am big enough and strong enough to overcome all by myself! Does that make sense?! Maybe not! Anyway, I'm going to try and not take anymore today and if I'm fidgity tonight then take a codeine phosphate. I won't be getting silly with them though as I do not want to compound this addiction any more. I know I won't though as I've had them for ages now and I really don't take that many. Just goes to show it's the ibuprofen/codeine combo kick I'm addicted to as (as previously discussed with Drew) not the chilled out, bleary eyed phosphate feeling. Thank you so much for your words and offer of help. And the film sounds like a great idea!
Jen
xxx
jencs
Posted
Well I've got through the day only having taken two! Anyone else find they get heartburn when tapering or cutting it out? Don't know if it's the adrenaline of actually doing this that's causing it! Now's about the time I would be taking my next two, probably why I found myself compelled to post again! I only have two left so might take them mid morning again tomorrow and see if I can just stop. Scary thought and always thought I would taper and not cold turkey but I fear if I buy more I'll just rocket back up like always. Think I'll just use the phosphate to take the edge off the evenings. Only thing I'm suffering now is heartburn and some horrible headache bursts that feels like my temples have been put in a vice!
Drew1961 jencs
Posted
Hey both. Thanks Rich. So good of you. I remember Jen very well that conversation. I got hold of CP thinking it would be a perfect substitute but I just felt so groggy on it. There is definitely an NP kick that I need to function normally. I do agree though that CP could be very helpful at night when it's ok to feel groggy. I'm sure it would help with sleep and the restless legs xx Drew
tim52832 jencs
Posted
Hi jences....Heartburn is definately a symtem of withdrawl as these tablets play hell with your digestive system..Ty gaviscon or something like that, It'l take a while for your body to get back to it's normal functions..Your absolutely right.....it's impossible to go cold tirkey when you have the extra tablets in the house., It's like an alcoholic trying to give up drink and keeping a bottle of whiskey in the house, It's cazy, If you could find someone you can trust and they could give you a certain amount of tablets everyday Buying a 'small amount' in the pharmacy is vey difficult fo people with our problem and the temptation is always thee to buy more that we need. Your doing great. When you succeed you'll feel so much better and your appetite for living your life to the full will return........not to mention the money you'll save....keep the faith.
jencs tim52832
Posted
Thanks Tim, I've bought some gaviscon and it has helped a bit. Heartburn seems to be my worse symptom so far. That and the headaches. My last two are gone now so that's it for me. I'm just going to go for it...I've had enough of being governed by tablets. I'm bigger than they are, in every way! Hardest bit for me is when the time comes round that I'd usually take them, I quite liked the rush of excitement I used to get when it was time so I need to find something to replace it!! Also, if you don't mind my being so personal, I've been to for a number two, two days in a row! OMG!
katyp jencs
Posted
Yay! Bowels moving properly...! I was excited when it happened to me too! I'm on day 15 of cold turkey and most withdrawals have gone now.
It's great you only seem to be suffering with heartburn. I'm sure you can find a way of dealing with that.
Making the decision to not be governed by tablets is great and I promise you once you are completely rid of them you will feel a million times better! I already feel much more energetic, happy and so proud of what I've achieved.
Keep going, you can do it. You're doing great!
K xx
jencs katyp
Posted
Thank you! The headache is really bad, I took some paracetamol earlier and it took it away for an hour then it just came back again! The phosphate took it all away last night so from today that's all I will do. One in the evening if I need to. Don't think I ever want to touch ibuprofen again either! My stomach is turning over constantly but Tim's advice about the gaviscon is helping. Well done for getting as far as you have, can't wait to get to end week two. Will be a better buzz than the day I first took the demon drug! Xxx
rich_001 jencs
Posted
Hey Jencs, I think you're in a really good position to quit, however way you choose to do it; and I understand about whether or not you wish to tell your partner, but your reply shows you have great inner strength. The only thing that concerns me as I'm sure you're aware that unlike government propoganda saying cannabis leads directly to heroin, being dependent to any degree could be the thing you turn to if you have a really crap day - like someone who drinks - a bad day at the office and its 'f*ck this', and proceed on a road to obliteration. I was that man once, and although the doctors wouldn't agree, I can choose to or not to choose to. It's when you have one of those soul searching moments and ask yourself 'do you consider yourself dependent on this' and from what you told me, I would say there are warning flags - but you are doing totally the right thing by coming on here and getting honest support and advice. In my soul searching moment, I came to the conclusion that I was bored - had no life. And that really shocked me because I was into festivals, bands, was in a band - a huge chunk of my life seemed to loat off into the distance. I chose an independent road through life in that I only did what I wanted to do, but at the same time had a so called 'responsible job' which was grey and plastic and redundancy was a huge relief and discovered film. Now, a job has dropped into my life teaching primary school kids West African Djembe drums. Now, I'm on day 4 off codeine with my subutex program. That sounds strange I know, but the demon of addiction at my level of 48N+ per day is a shocker to manage, so my one day at a time regime is stick to the script, and I can't play games with myself anymore else I'll screw up with this job big time. As far as OTC codein related drugs go, my feelingis they shoild be prescription only. Because of this film I want to make, I've spoken to pharmacists, consultants and doctors, users and the general public and their reactions along with many of this site is one of total support. That is the purpose of this film, to reach out and touch buttons of those like us who are still in the 'dirty little sectret' phase. I want this film to start something. The main issue is prescription codeine given in hospital and then patients wondering why they feel so bad when in reality, they're suffering withdrawal symptoms. Professioals all agree it's an issue; but some doctors have never heard of it? Sorry for the ramble, but it's been my demon for 3 years - I crept up 12, 16, 24, 32 over time, sometimes wondering if I wont wake up because of heart failure. It's rubbish, it needs exposing it needs addressing. I expect a fight as Mr Nurofen Plus won't like it. £7.29 for 32 ffs! Take care, find your mojo and be strong!!
Rich
xx
katyp teresa36659
Posted
Well done you!
I'm on day 13 of cold turkey and feeling really good, don't get me wrong, the pain to get here has been tough and continues but I feel a million times better in myself.
I am determined to keep going, I have definitely powered through the hard bit. I just need to be mentally strong and make it through the bad days.
Painful restless legs has calmed down, bowels are back to normal, I have an appetite for the first time in ages, tummy cramps are few and far between and my headaches have gone. Insomnia is my biggest problem but again, it gets better each day.
I feel good, happier and healthier.
Keep going. We can do this.
Xx
teresa36659 katyp
Posted
Well done you 13 days you must feel so proud of yourself. I am so pleased for you. We can beat this together with words of wisdom and advice from each other and others on here we will do this and feel better for doing it. I look forward to the day.
Drew1961 katyp
Posted
katyp Drew1961
Posted
Ahhh thanks Drew. I'm super proud of myself and it has given me faith that as long as someone is in the right head space, they can kick the habit.
I know you can. Always here for you to talk to.
Xx
rich_001 katyp
Posted
Katyp,
Hi. Did you find that to deal with this, you amassed an army of determination in your head that said 'no matter what, I will never succumb'? And if so, did you find some pangs were cyclic in nature, but easy to deal with, but come day 3, a pang from hell tested every ounce of thar determination (which you didn't succumb to), then it sort of left you alone for 3 days or so, before another wave of pang from hell tested you - but it wasn't so strong? The reason I ask is from personal experience as I believe all addctions are cyclic - they will go. Either way, brilliant for you! 15 days is amazing. Some say 5 days, some, 7. For me it will be 10 but I'll be watching ... but not obsessing!
rilliant and well done; your comments will add a lot of value
katyp rich_001
Posted
Hi Rich,
I think once I'd seen a different doctor who actually challenged the amount I was taking from my prescription ordering history (I didn't tell him about my N+ top up) it gave me a bit of a fright, not only did I feel like a total junkie, I was also embarrassed that other doctors would know and scared I'd done some long term damage.
So, that was it. I knew I had to stop. It was the kick I needed. I am very head strong and once I put my mind to something I tend to stick to it so yes, I did have this whole mental state of 'I will not succumb to this' - the day I found the hardest was actually day 14 because it was prescription ordering day! I used to get so excited knowing I could soon have a full stash again.
But, I refused to give in. Having my energy back helped because I had an incentive to stay off. And I'd also set myself little rewards where I could treat myself to stuff.
I'm sure I'll have more times where I find it hard but I hope having seen the upside of getting me back to being me will keep me on the right side.
The support on this forum has been amazing, so nice to not be alone.
Xx
rich_001 katyp
Posted
That is so cool to hear that and your positivity. I'm sure I read somewhere on this forum that one never regains the person they used to be to which I'd like to say, with all due respect that that that is as polite as the forum administrators will allow is a compleate load of so not true. The only drug I have known to do that to people is LSD - the great guitarist Peter Green being a perfect example.
When I pick up my prescription, the place is full of people desperate for their script, and to me, it seems their brains are shot, the way they talk to oneanother is kindred to playground level. I'm not as strong as you. I kicked alcohol, but codiene is a massive pull, so I imagine these guys on a come down x 10. I went on the subutex program - I have a key worker who is brilliant, and as I've just started work, I need to be in school by 8:30 which necessitated one week being trusted to medicate myself. The way I see it is a matter of honour here - if I screw up, I blow the job. I'll be on the fenns before I know it and I was pushing 64. I will lose trust. I asked about coming off the subutex, and she said she'd seen people much worse than I kick it, but again, they're kind and considerate people who don't like to see people suffer! Again, I'm a master of pangs,I know how they work, how they hit you, but importantly I know how to kill them stone dead. You've cracked katy. And you treated yourself - great! TTFN,
Rich
xx
rich_001
Posted
ps, typo error ... should read "you've totally cracked it Katy" not "you've totally cracked! kepp on keeping on, Rich xx