Posted , 18 users are following.
Dear BPH Sufferers:
One common issue with BPH is the ability to naturally pee like we did when we were young and carefree. With that said, what would you be willing to give up to pee like that again?
Dave
2 likes, 53 replies
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Bobcats DaveCanPee
Posted
Dave,
The thing you can't seem to understand is FEAR! The fear of surgery, the fear of retrograde ejaculation, the fear of incontinence, the fear of complications, the fear of not being a man anymore, the fear of becoming an old man, the fear of making the wrong decision, the fear of making it worse, the fear of ED, the fear of change, the fear of hospitals, the fear of ; do I have the right doctor, on and on , etc, etc...
It is clear that you are thrilled with your successful results and that you want to share it with all of us and you want us to have the same joy as you. It is clear that your heart is in the right place!
You are a fearless warrior!!! Thank you for sharing your experience.
derek76 Bobcats
Posted
The only thing to fear is fear itself but you obviously conquered it as you had a PAE last month.
Hope your recovery progresses well.
DaveCanPee Bobcats
Posted
Hi Bob:
You are welcome. My heart is in the right place. I was never on this forum, or any other forum, prior to doing my procedure. However, afterwards, I told my wife I wanted to share my experiences with other men. I then found this forum and started sharing, and quickly found out how odd and taboo what I did was to everyone else.
I do understand fear, respect it, and share it. Right before my surgery, which was a long 3-weeks waiting on my doctor to become available, I had a lot of time to dwell. I feared the whole thing, but it came down to my motivation of getting off that dang catheter (which was ruining my life) and getting back to peeing on my own. I had made peace with the outcome and whatever I had to give up. My doctor was open and honest with me, and that weighed in on my peace. The other was a very supportive family. I remember waiting in pre-op and the doctor came in. Both my wife and me asked him if he was on his game. In other words, we wanted him focused and ready. I reminded him that he promised me a garden hoes, and then I added a "Love Stick." He laughed and said he would. The amount of trust we put on a physician is amazing. My wife was scared to death I was going under. That in itself is scary.
Fear can make us have paralysis by analysis, There are so many choices, side effects, risks, etc. I guess to some degree the fight or flight syndrome comes into play. Plus, we fear the unknown, even when we hear results from other men.
Thanks, Bob. Your words mean more than you can imagine.
Dave
Bobcats DaveCanPee
Posted
Dave
I did find the courage to have the PAE procedure! But I sat and toiled for 5 years, "paralysis by analysis" as you put it.
I got so use to living the way I was living, making sure never to drink too much if I was going to be far from a toilet, peeing every 15 minutes after my workout at the gym from drinking lots of coffee and water, carrying a pee bottle in my car for when I got stuck in traffic, and recently ALWAYS having an emergency self-catheter on hand. I have a 45 year old friend who could not believe that I had accepted this lifestyle, but I had accepted it as normal. Managing my fluid intake was not even reliable, when my symptoms flared up, there was no telling how often I was going to pee or even get LOCKED up. Now that's fear.
I think men on this forum, like me, fear losing their manhood and so they just read and read about all the procedures. I never really intended on doing anything, until I got a complete blockage on a flight from TX to CA. That was my breaking point and when I found my courage.
But, it is directly because of this forum that I chose the PAE and the right doctor for me! So far I am having great results and my NORMAL life is returning to me. My prostate was relatively small, 70G ( compared to the monsters I read about ) and I had no median lobe issues.
Bobcanpeetoo 😃
drummer10 Bobcats
Posted
Well I just decided to get PAE ASAP. I going to have it done in Tampa Florida By a Dr. Clifford Davis who has done over 250 of them. No more fear and procrastination just determination to trust this wonderful IR and pray a lot please keep me in your thoughts as well small prostrate maybe 50cc. Like I said I going to put my trust in all of you and the medical people. Drummer10
DaveCanPee Bobcats
Posted
Bob - Good for you. You cracked me up with "Bobcanpeetoo." You put a smile on my face.
What you have lived through probably resembles many lives on this forum, not to mention those that are not here. Do not beat yourself up. You dealt with it your way until you were ready to make another decision, and then you made it.
Yeah, 70g, I think I was born with 70g. Ha! I am glad the normal you desire is coming back. Great feeling!
Dave
DaveCanPee drummer10
Posted
Hi Drummer - As they say, you know what, or get off the pot. Sounds like you are ready to splash down some astronauts.
All jest aside, TRUST and FEAR are big words. Seems you are pushing through. If we could fix ourselves, we would. Unfortunately (or fortunately) we need others.
Best to you,
Dave
gene97713 DaveCanPee
Posted
Dave,
I agree with your point about SRP procedure, which replaced the radical prostatectomy and abdominal surgery. SRP is just less invasive than abdominal and has much shorter recovery time, and less blood loss and possible transfusion. In both cases the surgery is performed through the cut open bladder under general anesthesia. The healing of the bladder and the prostate capsule (that the only thing that left from your prostate after SRP is very individual, Folly catheter for 10 days and bag on your leg is guaranteed. Total healing takes at least 12 weeks. You are dead wrong about the part of your urethra inside the prostate, your sphincters and lobes. The gone with your adenomata tissue from prostate. Hence, RE, initial incontinence (at least often enough). I have two friends who had artificial valves installed after such surgery. Many complain about the following impotence.
I mentioned many times that such surgery (abdominal) was performed many times successfully even in second world countries and left the patients with no serious sexual effects (even improved erections) starting early 60-70th.
It's all about age, complications, and surgery anxiety. Not for everybody. I'm probably older than you (also an educator) and am very happy with my PAE procedure. Prostate has much more functions that you probably anticipate, sometimes called the second heart of the man.
I still can ejaculate, experience super-strong orgasms, have kids, if I chose too... and I can pee as in my forties.
What about you, except for overshooting your toilet?
DaveCanPee gene97713
Posted
Gene:
I hear you. I was fortunate and lucky, but I am not convinced that makes me the exception. Right circumstance, right time, right attitude, right doctor, right facility, right insurances, and right support group, were all in my favor. However, my little piece of Oklahoma is not the only place that offers everything as well.
I have everything intact except having kids, but I gave that up in '91 with a vasectomy. I just had sex this morning with a satisfying orgasm. Did I have fluid leave my body during my orgasm? No, and I am more than willing to give that up in order to not have urination control my life. I was also at peace with a lot of other things I was willing to give up, but that did not happen. I absolutely hated (and I do not hate much) living on a catheter, or having to use one to manage that one bodily function. I completely respect those that can, I just could not (or would not) deal with it.
As a fellow educator, thank you for driving in depth conversations. If we do not take a holistic view, we will not be able to see all sides. I appreciate the interaction.
Dave
derek76 gene97713
Posted
I always tell people that GL is an easier procedure than many dental ones. I put trust in a surgeon as I do a pilot. The porter wheeling me down to the operating theatre for my heart surgery said that I was the calmest patient he had ever had.
cali-mike1970 DaveCanPee
Posted
one question i'd have, respectfully, is how many people have a bad outcome with the procedure you chose (TURP i assume)? what if you were still suffering, would you feel like you do now. people who have a good outcome say 'wish i had done this 10 years ago' and people with issues are still on here dealing with strictures and 2nd and 3rd procedures.
that's the fear i feel -the roll of the dice fear, in addition to the recovery fear. I feel a fear of having to have a cathether for more than 2 days, and the pain of recovery - having constant urge to pee, for 3 to 4 weeks, how much burning and pain i'll be in. I've tasted some of that and it sucks. many people are thinking of these procedures with only one locked / near retention and it's all about risk management. the recovery you read about can be super simple and mild to very difficult and hellish. as humans we hate uncertainty and this problem (whether you do something or not) is all about uncertainty.
but the race horse pee is attractive, it also makes me feel the operation will last longer (at least 10 years i hope)
larryh DaveCanPee
Posted
Just be careful about urinary retention. And overstretching your bladder to where it may flop over (how urologist explained it) and no longer function. in which case you may need a catheter rest of your life. Had BPH and all the peeing issues and just figured it is what it is so live with it Ended up in ER for acute upper back spasm and mentioned intermittant mild pains in abdomen. Ultrasound showed over a litre of urine in bladder (urinary tetention). Had no symptoms other than recent come and go very mild abdomen area pains. 6 weeks with catheter until TURP surgery. I hated the foly catheter and biggest concern was overstretched bladder and catheter rest of my life. Urologist said only 10% chance as that happens mostly with 2-3 litres of retention. TURP was good in my case.
ThisIsAbuse DaveCanPee
Posted
Peeing like a race horse = no more damage to kidneys or bladder or constant UTI's.
For this I was willing to risk:
Normal ejaculation for retrograde ejaculation.
I would prefer not to risk:
Some level incontinence - going from blocked to unblocked after years can cause issues.
donald16398 DaveCanPee
Posted
Cut down on sugar and foods known to cause inflammation.
Eat more anti-inflammation foods.
cali-mike1970 DaveCanPee
Edited
With Aquablation and epTURP (ejaculatory sparing) you can get that and hopefully not have to give up ejaculation.
rezum and urolift have too high a retreatment rate, and the Qmax impact of those or PAE will only get you to race horse territory (> 20ml/sec) if you are in the 15 ml/sec range. if you are < 10ml/sec in flow, only a more aggressive procedure will get you closer to race horse land.
i have a suspicion that higher flow means you will have a better PVR which will protect your bladder long-term as you age (if you are under 65 and looking at a procedure).
at this point, in my early 50s and married to a gal 12 years my junior, I'm not willing to give up anything except 1 extra wakeup a night of sleep-loss (average is 1 for most people so +1 = 2 wake ups -- i'm at 5 to 8 today so getting tired of being tired and always concerned). but if i have a failed PAE, my next step would be aquablation or epTURP and i'd still try to preserve my ejaculation. if i need a 2nd cutting procedure after those, i'd probably just go for a HOLEP at that point.
compiler cali-mike1970
Posted
**alberto204 **has already replied to your another post about PAE, "I think trying a PAE is definitely the best way to try to alleviate LUTS. I had it done, but it did not work. So I am looking into aquablation now." Why do you still want to try PAE?