What is this craziness???

Nevermind it was short lived, and I forgot that after preaching about flax seed, and my hot flah pills, that that's what I should be taking.

Thank you for the reply. You put it in a way that I would have never imagined. The part that keeps me holding in is knowing that this phase will eventually be gone. I just never imagined that these were some of the things women had to go through. It is sad that there is little knowledge about it. If it wasn't for my aunt bringing it to my attention during one of my many trips to the ER I would still be going to the ER every other day. Now I have to get up and try to go to work today and work without freaking out when one of these symtpoms start. Again thanks for the kind words and take care...

That's so beautiful joanne. Every growth is painful. But I can't certify its growth or metamorphosis because I'm not sure I'm not gonna die in the process. But it's too late now. The metamorphosis has been initiated.

Today I saw a whole bunch of elderly women who have traveled to our city by bus for an outing. They were so happy and full off joy. I felt ashamed of my lot.

You couldn't have described me better when I first read your post! Can I ask what you do for work? Any quiet time at your job?

I'm a Realtor Associate so I always have to be "on" to other people. It's excruciatingly painful at times that I try to hide.

Here's to you and I getting our wings soon!! <3>

Don't be ashamed! You are strong, passionate, wonderful. Those women are butterfly's, you're a baby cocoon like me, hiding, until our transformation happens. Never thought it was so hard and so long to get those darn wings!!!!!!

Thanks Joanne,

I am a customer service rep and it's been so hard lately. I used to love interacting with people. Now my work is suffering. I can barely sit still all day, and then I put the customers on hold unecessicarily because I feel an anxiety attack coming on. It's just so scary. When I finally do get home, I jump straight in the bed and stay there all night. That's the only time I seem to comfort for the crazy day. I go to sleep to try to get through until the symtpoms wake me up. I'm in the U.S. I fell asleep at about 10:30 and woke up at 3:45am. I been up ever since and it is now 7:21am. I seem to get about 5 to 6 hours of sleep. I'm so on edge sometimes I can't get a nap in. I just pray that I am ok today.

hi.  your descriptions are amazing!  You're a poet.  So well put.  I will keep this in mind for the remainder of my 'transition' thanks to you!

Hi Jamie,

I don't think all women suffer as badly. Lucky you had an aunt who had been through it a bit.

One of my friends was awful for years, she's a bit older than me. My mum used to occasionally ask after her. I would just relay to mum what was going on in her life. I had obviously mentioned meno a few times over the years.

Mum said one day "there must be something wrong with her, this has been going on for years now. "

So obviously my mum didn't suffer too much. She's no longer with us so I can't ask her about it. But the only thing I can remember her complaining about at that sort of age was "I don't know what's going on with me today I feel like a drunk. "

I did ask her once when my friend was going through it, how it affected her.

She said she had no hot flushes and the only thing she had noticed was she wasn't quite as cold as she used to be.

I don't know who I take after but I seem to have had most symptoms and some!

That's true. A lot of the women I know have went through it but the symptoms were minimal that they didn't realize it. My mom went throught it pretty rough with the heart palps, hot flushes, and anxiety but she roughed it out. She knew of the hot flushes but the heart palps and anxiety she didn't. She said she just didn't like doctors or hospitals so she wasn't going unless she just had to. I don't either to be honest. I just started going since I've had all these crazy feelings hit me out of nowhere. I stopped telling some of my friends who ask what's wrong with me because some things I can't explain. If I mention anything about peri or meno, the first thing I here is, you are too young. I thought I was too until I did my research. At this point just glad I have you ladies to vent to share my feelings with. I don't feel like I'm such a loner.

Hi Jamie,

Hope you are having a better day today and hanging in there, I read your earlier post and I swear I could have written it myself. I don't discuss what is going on with my friends because none of them seem to be going through what I am experiencing. Just like you I use to be very outgoing and social. Now all I want to do is hide in my bedroom and watch TV. Everything else just seems completely overwhelming and causes me great anxiety. I have a dentist appointment in an hour and I'm having a massive panic attack that I'm trying to keep calm. Telling myself I am not going to die today and I will be just fine. I wish I could get my heart flutters, upset stomach and hyperventilating to listen to me. Like you as well I have lost 14 pounds since October. Have no real desire to eat at all during the day. I sometimes feel like there is a big piece of yellow police crime tape over my bedroom door saying DANGER leave at your own risk. Crazy crazy. It's just so comforting realizing I'm not alone all you wonderful and supportive ladies are dealing with the same thing. Thinking about you today and praying you are having a better day today

❤️Debbie

Oh my goodness Debbie, you just totally described me. It was almost scary reading it. I have a docs appointment tomorrow and my heart started racing soon as I confirmed. I didn't go to work again today because of the nervousness and jitters I had this morning. This anxiety is the absolute worse. I've always been a cool, calm, and collected person so this anxiety is certainly a switch for me. I don't go anywhere alone anymore. I used to love my time alone. Some of my friends take meds for anxiety but Im not a pill person so I'm taking in the suggestions from some of the ladies for the herbal supplements and vitamins. I only take pills if I necessarily have too.

Jamie you do sound so much like me. I too am not a pill person. I'm trying everything as natural as possible to help my symptoms. I'm so sorry you were unable to go to work today because of your symptoms. If it makes you feel any better my anxiety symptoms were so crazy this morning I was late leaving to go to my dentist appointment and had to reschedule. . I wish all the Ladies lived close by so we could meet for coffee (even though most of dont drink it anymore ). It would be more therapeutic than any pill or therapy session to be able to meet and talk with other women who are just like us. Good Luck at the Doctors Jamie. I keep telling myself that this is not me, this is not forever. Hopefully someday will come sooner than we all think. Take Care Friend. This too shall pass❤️❤️

Debbie

That would be nice if we were all in the same area to meet for lunch or coffee. I'm thankful for this forum and all the ladies that share experiences and suggestions. I'm having these chills that go through my body in waves. I'm trying not to have an anxiety moment but it's hard. Im feeling like I have the flu or something today but I know I'm not sick. It's annoying. I hate to stand up. I keep trying to on about the day but it certainly is hard. Thanks again for your kind words.

Take care..

Hey Jamie, I hope this note finds you better and that your day is almost done.  5-6 hours of sleep is good for menopause, I had the night where I couldn't sleep at all and didn't want to take sleeping pills.  Service rep is a tough one too b/c you have to be "nice" and "accomodating" to people when all you want to do is scream!!  I get it.  One thing is life is a guarantee: Change.  It will change, I promise!!  

hahahahaha, you made me blush.  

and trust me, even that HURTS!  

that's great you had your Mum as a reference to ask.  Hopefully yours will mirror her's a little bit and not be so bad.  My Mom died when I was in my early 20's so I had no blood relative as a reference.  My daughter is petrified of menopause, even though she's young but watching me....Oh boy!!

My daughter is scared to death too. She is 21 and I am 48. She is off at college but knows exactly what I am going through. She hears it in my voice when I have rough days and when she comes home to visit she sees me struggling in the mornings. I feel bad for what she might face.

Debbie

How about if we meet in the dark cave our ancestors slept in, coffee seems like bright lights and people.  

Maybe  you can relate to this:  I had to go inside an empty house to do an appraisal, I've done this all my life, when I got inside my car, I started to cry my eyes out saying "I can't go, I can't move", well.....I got inside the house, the inspection is done, but darn it hurt like heck.  BTW-I curse like a truck driver but this site will not allow you. 

Thanks Joanne,

I'm looking forward to it stopping. I was nervous and jittery this morning. I've been getting a few chills like im getting sick and these weird internal vibrations or tingling feelings. They bring on the heart palps. Then it goes away. I had these ever since I had my first expierence in October. I try to sit through them now though as this was one of the things I kept going to the ER for also. Of course it was nothing that they found wrong. So just learning to deal with it. I have a docs appointment tomorrow so hopefully he will listen to what I'm saying which I doubt it cause he has no clue about woman things.

my daughter is the same way.  She's only 30 but sees me as a nut case on and off for the last 8 years.  I told her last night that as soon as this ends, I'll run to New York and surprise her.  I used to love NY, but now too many people and too many panic attacks.  

I can totally relate. I am out now picking up my little one and I am on edge today. I feel like my eyes are having a hard time focus. Thank goodness this doesnt happen a lot because I am the only one in my home that drives.

they never do have a clue, my GYN tries to give me anti-depressants, HRT, tells me to go and see a psycologist, just NO clue!  It's frustrating.  I usually have to cancel my appt b/c I get so freaked out the moment I know I have to go to any appt.  I'm lucky, my partner does the food shopping, and I do the screaming.  When he says how am I doing, all I can describe to him is it's like having a bad flu, with heart palps and panic attacks.  Women certainly are the stronger sex.  

I'm beginning to look like a bit of a nutcase to my family. They thought I was losing my mind so much to the point they were asking everyday if I went to the ER. At the time I was going every other day. Sometimes I still want to go but I fight the urge.

I dread doing the food shopping. I won't stay in the car cause I don't want to be alone, but the whole time I'm in the store I'm a basket case and shopping really fast so I can get out of there. I've never really been a person to have anxiety but I got it bad now.