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whats it all about, Alfie

Posted , 6 users are following.

Mercybemine
Mercybemine

I finally got some sleep lastnight after giving in and taking a sleeping tablet which I don't like doing? When I awoke I eventually got around to checking this site and on reading the replies or chats between the lovelly Carmel and Julie, I put the kettle on and actually thought to myself "what's it all about" people can read the same msg yet get totally different perceptions of what they have read, by reading afew simple words they can assume they understand the individual who wrote them and what makes that person tic, observations and opinions are drawn by ones own perceptions and though often incorrect a debate can then ensue. I myself unlike what has been assumed by others am not insecure, I do not help others because it a way of escaping my own problems, I try to help others because they need help? When I see awful atrocities occurring around the world it affects me, to bury my head in the sand and think well it's not happening infront of me so what the heck I'll go get a pedicure is beyond all reason to me? Of course I have to put myself friends and family first but does that meen I shouldn't show compassion towards my neighbour? Do we pretend the holocaust current happen because it wasn't on our street? Shud we shun our elderly because (to some) they have out lived their usefullness? When we where babies and they looked after all our needs yes even cutting our toe nails don't they deserve our utmost gratitude instead of ridicule? if you help a blind man cross the road are you a good Samaritan or a fool for wasting a minute out of your life to help when he probably could of crossed anyway, especially if he had a dog, maybeAbit difficult for him but hey a minute of my life and not be paid? Is society collapsing so drastically that one can't help another unless there is a financial reward? Our elders suffered such hardships to give us the lifestyle we now have and if needed my help I would not hesitate to offer it, yes for free? Now if that is to escape from facing my problems it is a price I am willing to pay. However, my problems of which some seem to think they have a grasp of is that after days /weeks and finally mnths of nursing my sister while she was suffering the most appalling pain while dying slowly from a brain tumor is the cause of my anxiety, that and the guilt of leaving her in the final days of her life as I did not have the courage to watch her pass, that in turn caused me to have a breakdown and I've battled with my demons ever since? So ya see, "what's it all about" it's about the individual and what's more important to oneself. 

1 like, 37 replies

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  • Vickycam
    Vickycam Mercybemine

    Posted

    What a kind and loving heart you have writing about your sister's suffering and the memories of happier days.  This is all apart of you. And to Julie and Jackie, too, you and I, too, are battling demons but we'll come through this battle stronger.   
    • julie1111
      julie1111 Vickycam

      Posted

      we will vicky thats the way possitive thinking xx
    • Mercybemine
      Mercybemine julie1111

      Posted

      What I want girls is not to be left alone but to be left alone to my own devices? Why are there so my interested people who I know interested in what I do? Why am I such an outcast because I like to give, I like to try make things better for others, I go in my garden o cut the hedges and then Sk my neighbours do they need there trimming, do they need any help with anything and things like that? Why does t make me a bad person? I marched on Burton wood as a youth trying to stop nuclear arms, I went (albeit with me bird) to Amsterdam to support the gay pride thing? I protested against the troubles in Ireland and was there at live aid and Nelson mandella concert, prostested against the ste bono murder and shootings in Soweto whike people I know Sat in the bar and let the world pass bye, I was in save the whale, Greenpeace and many others anyway so I guess it's me? The problem lies with me, from a young age I was different, I cared but I had no resourses to make a difference, I can't heal the world but if I see an empty can on the street I can pick it up and out it in a bin? Others say why bother, I say why not and because I can? I,m rabbiting on and I,n sorry thanks hun, appreciate you taking the time to post, meens alot 
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