When does it get better

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Been off ven for 2 months now and feeling so unwel. I was on antidepressants for over 32 but nothing ever worked so was put on ven as my doc said it was good for treatment resistant depression and anxiety but the side effects were horrendous. It took me a year to taper down off it and I took my last smallest possible dose 2 months ago. I thought that by now I would be feeling better, my depression and anxiety have gone through the roof and I feel so tired all the time and just complete in interested in anything is just a constant struggle. I really don't think I can stand another day of this, going back on antidepressents is not an option as I have taken every AD under the sun but all I get is bad side effects and no benifits. I have done everything I can possibly do to help myself in the last 7 years I have given up alcohol, smoking and caffeine and eat a healthy diet it all seems pointless as I know feel worse than ever in fact I'm sure that all them years on ADs has caused me permanent brain damage I would rather be dead than carry on feeling like this

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  • Posted

    Hi Michael. When I logged on this morning I saw your post. I'm really sorry you're feeling so hopeless, but I do understand because I've been there myself. In fact, there's a whole load of us out here who know how you feel and are willing you to get through it. Is there a friend or relative you can talk to about it? Could you go back to your doctor and discuss your options? In the short term, have you got the number of a crisis support line, or the Samaritans? Try to hang in there. You can feel good about yourself for giving up the alcohol and smoking, so tell yourself that.

    Remember that we're all wishing you well, we want you to get through it.

    Keep posting.

    Pixie22

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    • Posted

      Thanks pixie

      I have discussed options with my doc many time over the years and done everything that was suggested but nothing ever works

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  • Posted

    You tapered slowly like I did Michael.  We had been on anti depressants for a long time.  I did not have many side effects whilst on Venlafaxine, just indigestion and heartburn and weight gain.  For me it was a lot better than other anti depressants I had been on, and gave me less side effects than some.  For me it got rid of depression and anxiety most of the time, and I felt pretty well on it.  shows how different anti depressants suit different people.

    It took me 10 months to taper, and I did not have any withdrawals at all.  When I stopped it once before cold turkey, I did get withdrawals, and they lasted about 3 weeks.  This time my doctor suggested I try without, as before my depression returned after I had been off it 6 months.  I have not had the depression return, just ups and downs, and a drawback at Christmas, which has now passed. 

    I am feeling pretty good.  So long as I dont get stressed I am OK.  No withdrawals at all, so I suppose our bodies are different.

    I took supplements all the time I was taking anti depressants, and since I stopped, have added more, and although it could be the placebo effect, I think the supplements are helping.  I will continue to take them every day.  I am not struggling, and I am an old lady in my 70s, and not a strong person, and 5'4" tall.  I am so sorry you are feeling so bad, and cannot understand how two people like us are experiencing such different things.

    Like you I have taken many different anti depressants over many years, and also like you, don't want to go back onto them. 

    So far so good for me without medication. 

    I have never smoked, only drink a glass or two of wine at Christmas, try to eat healthily, walk quite a bit (have arthritis so cannot exercise as such), and like you have done everything to help myself.  It is not pointless, honestly, you are doing all the right things, perhaps it is just taking your body longer to adjust to doing without Venlafaxine.  I am feeling so much better, it may not last, but I am grateful for how I feel now.  Battle on Michael, if this little old lady can do it, so can you. 

    Other people have commented about brain damage, like you.  Perhaps thsat is true, I don't know, but in my case my brain is OK, as far as I csan tell.  The only thing I dread now is memory loss, but no sign of that at the moment.  I am proud thast at my age I am not on any prescribed medication.

    We are all different, and I just hope you feel better soon.  Sounds like you have depression that is loathe to leave you, even for a while.  I take each day at a time.  Grateful for the way I am feeling, but know there are ups and downs, which I accept. 

    It is so sad to read that you would rather be dead than go on as you are.  Please, please keep going.  I know you have had a lot of knockbacks in your life, and can understsnd why you feel like you do.

    Take care

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  • Posted

    Michael carry on. I have been fighting for 20plus years too. Different ad's and venlafaxine for 10 yrs. now not working and back pain as well. My dr is sayings pain is not physical and that's a gutting comment to a depressed person. All I need is support. Fight it and hang on for the tiniest glimmer. We all feel for you and are here for support! X
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    • Posted

      Thanks Valerie

      I just have to keep going as I don't have a choice. I talk to people about this and all that happens is that it makes me feel worse because they say the most stupid things someone recently said that I have to live in the solution and not the problem, well how the hell can I do that when I don't know what the solution is and this was said to me by someone that works in mental health. I'm fed up with people saying such nonsense

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    • Posted

      Iv given up with he NHS they are bloody hopeless I'm booking counciling sessions with a Christian councillor now hopefully they will be more caring and helpful and not say such stupid things that just make me feel worse

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    • Posted

      Hi Valerie I too have been fighting for over 20 years.  We are both fighters I suppose, but I don't think of myself as strong.  I too have back pain and that does not help with depression does it? 

      I have had lots of tests in the past for physical pain, but a lot of it, it seems was due to depression.  We are good for each other here.  The support is great.

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    • Posted

      Michael we know that people who have not had depression have no idea at all what it is like to live with it for years and years.  I don't think that person meant to be unkind.  A counsellor once told me I used anti depressants as a crutch!!  Well of course I did.  That's what they are!!  We just have to try and not get upset by negative things people say.

      Bless you dear man for fighting so hard.  I do hope things improve for you.  You sound so very low at the moment.

      I care about you and everybody else here.  Thank goodness we all understand each other, and give support. 

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    • Posted

      Hi Michael! Pixie22 still thinking of you and rooting for you too. When I was talking to a psychiatrist once, I said I must be weak because I'd had several phases of depression in my life. He said "No you are strong because you've fought back". That encouraged me to keep trying.

      So you are a fighter, because you've beaten such a lot of problems.

      I hope things improve soon. Life is full of ups and downs but it's so hard to battle through our " downs". I understand.

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    • Posted

      Thank you pixie that's so sweet that you are thinking of me. I read a book one once and it was called depression the curse of the strong. We are not weak because we battle on and try and get through each day it's hard work but we can do it. I'm really tearful today but maybe that's a good thing because normaly I just feel numb and have no emotions. My anxiety is through the roof because I have got terrable financial problems due to not being able to work and because I was the victim of an Internet dating scammer last year. My car insurance was canceled because I couldn't pay it but need my car to get to counciling this week and also I have to get to the hospital for and operation on Wednesday and no one can help me as they will all be at work so can give me a lift. Not been able to pay my rent for ages either so got a letter yesterday saying that they are taking out eviction procedures so its bad enough trying to cope with the bad depression and my stomach problems without all this added stress. I just have to except that everything happens for a reason and what will be will be
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    • Posted

      Sorry about the spelling mistakes I'm having trouble seeing what I'm typing as my eyes a full of tears
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  • Posted

    I know where you are coming from and have also felt like you do x but there are some success stories on here, you need someone to listen and give you support although it is probably the last thing you want right now but it an sometimes help letting it all out to someone,, ,x,x sending some love x

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    • Posted

      Thank Caroline

      Yeah I have had stones for about 5 years I'm having trouble getting a Christian councillor as they all seem to be booked right up so will have to wait ages

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