Where I am at with my ME/CFS

Posted , 6 users are following.

Following on from the post I made about not wanting my old life back, I have come to realise that I am pretty much happy with where I am with my illness. Please bear with me, if you can bear to. smile

Before Mum died I was back to about 75% recovery. Since she died I have not managed to get back to where I was, I would say between 55 and 65% most of the time. Thanks to my GP and the clinic I go to I have learned about living with, and managing the illness. The Physical Illness psychologist I saw for quite a few sessions helped with this a lot - thanks you Sharla.

I know now that this is me and to strive for more is futile, in fact as I have said before, more is not good for me. This is the life I have now and this is the first day of it. I have decided to embrace what I have and make what I can of it.

The group I went to yesterday was quite negative in parts, and I am not blaming the people there. I was once very negative and one poor woman had only just begun her journey and was feeling awful. But it was her 'there's no hope for me and I feel so sorry for you all' attitude that set me thinking. My negative approach and constant wanting things to be different have had a detrimental effect on my ability to live with this condition.

I have decided to embrace it, it is part of the package of who I am and I have decided to be thankful for what I can do and what I do have. That is not to say I will not complain when I feel rough, I don't feel that good this morning even though the sun is shining, but I really want to try and get out of this 'if only' mentality that I have developed for so long.

Exhaustion, aches, pains, dizziness, confusion, head symptoms, IBS, they are here to stay (and that's not being negative, just realistic) and I am going to stop striving to be rid of them all. From now on they are a part of me and if people cannot get to grips with that then I can't help that. Those people probably have no part in my life.

If you have listened, thank you. It was good to write this down and explore it, sort of consolidate it.

I used to be like the sad lady in the group yesterday, I have come a long way and I thank God for what He allows me to have.

:D

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  • Posted

    hello daisy, nice to meet you! :D

    alica, that was a very moving and wise post. smile i think at the moment this is still relatively new for me (7 or so months) and im not sure what's going to happen. im still hoping that, as im fairly young and have caught it early, i will make a good recovery. my doctor is certainly optimistic and lots of people i know have got, if not 100% better, then certainly 80%. heck, i'd take 75! :roll:

    however, there are certainly things i can take from what you've said. i need to start accepting the way i am right now if im ever to get better. mind you its hard on your own - i could really do with some psychological/medical support with this one.

    but at least we have you and your words of wisdom! thank you for being so candid :D

    Trees x

  • Posted

    Thank you Trees, glad it helped you.

    I realised I was talking a lot of nonsense each time I logged on so I put my thinking cap on and thought it would be good to share something helpful. :D

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