Where is the 'bar'?

Hi Belinda. Thanks for your reply, I will be thinking of you on Thursday. I think I'm now at a point that just disappearing somewhere with no meds is my only option. Just wait for body to stop working. I don't know. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't fit in here. I don't fit in anywhere. Do you feel like that? You are right of course, cant take the next step if I stay silent. Thank you, good luck on Thursday, Nick.

You're not alone Nick, running away has always been easy for me, even when married before with mortgage and great job, when the #h*t hits the fan, I up and go and don't look back, go hide under a rock! 😟

Yes I do have the same feeling's as you, don't belong amongst family, socially I only feel I fit in if I'm drunk and making people laugh and the list goes on!

I want to put a stop to this and survive, so I will be honest on Thursday, even at a risk of consequences, I sincerely hope you do the same! Please keep us updated with how you get on xxx

You're right. Kept appointment and told her everything, told her I also thought about not telling too. She took in what I said but she also said that if I never call her she thinks I'm ok so its important to do things like call. I wish I could run away in your direction, I'm still up for stealing a ship, love you too xx

Hi Lorraine, I was honest, I even told her about not telling her. She said it could be frustration. Which is a good value point. But sometimes there's no instigation, maybe its dwelling over things for days but its hard to put down that reasoning when there's no direct link. I don't know. I have always had a temper but not in spoilt brat way or a bully way. Lol perhaps we should organise a bank job, get us all some escape money! 😊 thank you for the hit up about meds too, I'll get Dr to double check everything.

Lol I loved your post nick! Gave me a smile this mmorning! Especially the bank job! ♥

I think your great and hope you have a good day ahead xx

Nervous. Appointment later on. Still in two minds. Lol only if that were possible! Just have to get on with it. How are you feeling?

Hi again, how'd it go? Was you honest? 😊

I'm having yet another bad day, just pretended to be asleep when crisis care team came round, didn't mean to waste their time but I wasn't expecting them 😳

Dreading being honest with psychiatrist tomorrow, got some bad crap going on in my head 😢

Hope you're not too strung out after you're appointment today, would like to know how you got on and I'm hoping you might be feeling just a little lighter after seeing him/her

Xxx

Hi Belinda, appointment today was nervous, but yes did tell truth about incidents, also told her I had been thinking in not telling her. Well its been noted, and some stuff will be passed on but also she was straight forward in telling me that if I didn't tell her we would be back at the start where I keep everything to myself. So a polite pointing out if you like. I understand where she's coming from. But like yourself I wanted to hide today, are you ok?

Its only really coming back home I had trouble. For some reason I'm in bad books. Being treated like an outcast spoken to like crap. Gone out of my way, now I'm feeling psycho again and wanting to spoon peoples eyes out.

Oh good, there's no point in going if we ain't honest! Keep telling myself that! 😉

I'm getting syked up for my next appt tomorrow 😳 Already got the padded cell booked, just gotta find a nice straight jacket, maybe Amazon? 😏

Sooooo, you got told did ya! Lol 🤗

Sorry, my poor excuse of a humour is kicking in!!!

What's the prob at home then?

Lol you have a good sense of humour. Amazon nutbag section, that's a new one, I might be shopping there myself if people don't learn to talk to me straight. Home well I cant put down what's going on precisely as its their business not mine but I can tell you that I'm getting annoyed with being the mental punch bag.

Let me know how you get on tomorrow Belinda I will be thinking of you, good luck, just tell them how you were feeling about crisis team. Also let me know what sizes those jackets come in 😉 And a massive thank you to yourself, Dondons and Lorraine for support and helping me, Nick .

Sorry, didn't mean to pry 😉

Probably an idea if you tell them how they make you feel so they're aware? Maybe on a calm day?

If not, let some steam off on here, give the ole keyboard a bashing! 😂😂

So what's the outcome of your appt today? Meds? Counselling? Therapy? All of the above? Or are you normal? If so, you shouldn't be on here chatting to us cranks 😂😂😂

No worries Nick, glad you're back safe n sound 😉

If I don't reply tomorrow, it'll be because I can't get my hands free 😂😂

No you're ok. They already know, well the majority of it. There's things I cant or am not able to talk easily about. I'm already in crank club lol, on meds already, going to get therapy soon, waiting list. Tablets kicking in now, I wouldn't have done it but I'm desperate to sleep and I'm freezing. Came home and threw up, probably all the overthinking.or bad lunch lol.took 2 dose of sleep stuff. Sorry if I fade out, but wil be back tomorrow to see how you are and get on.😊

LOL! Love it. And thanks 😊