Why can’t I be normal?

Posted , 14 users are following.

Hello, I’m 41 and have been a drinker since my early 20’s. Over the last 10 yrs I’ve relied on alcohol more and more. I drink white wine. I’ve always been a shy girl so I feel drinking makes me more talkative, interesting etc if we’re out and about Or if I’m just out with a few friends.

My typical alcohol day is... pour a glass around time to do dinner so say 5pm/6pm. I pretty much drink between 1 and 2 bottles of white wine a night. Sometimes I stay up later than my husband just so I can get more in before bed 🙁

I watch what I eat through the day so I can have more wine and less calories with my food. I even exercise daily for long periods so I can get that wine into me. I don’t get drunk, I’m usually happy, very relaxed when I drink but I know it’s so bad for me. I have young children that I want to see grow up and get married, I’m scared I won’t see that happen but at the same time cannot quit my drinking. Many mornings before work I say to myself just 1 bottle tonight but always end up buying extra. 

I even suss out all the specials nowadays so I can get a $5 bottle so financially it doesn’t have an effect on our money. 

I enjoy having a drink but WISH I could open a bottle of an evening and only have say 2 glasses from it not polish off that bottle then decide to start on a 2nd. I know and admit I have a serious problem, my beautiful husband does too but doesn’t say much as he knows I’ll get upset and angry. I have a pretty much perfect life with hubby and kids, great job etc so just wish I could kick this 2 bottle rubbish and be happier and healthier ??

1 like, 16 replies

Report / Delete

16 Replies

Next
  • Posted

    Hi Kelly I understand your situation. It's great you have a husband you care for and it sounds he feels the same way. You do know about the Sinclair Method of extinguishing alcohol consumption? That certainly sounds like the answer to your alcohol consumption. If you are not familiar with this method just look it up. It is discussed on this site. There are several u-tube videos on it and there is a good one on u-tube under tedx or ted talk. The Sinclair Method is used in Europe a bit but only a few Doctors are aware of it in America. I found a doctor 3 hrs away to prescribe me Naltrexone which is the drug which eventually will extinguish a desire to consume. This will work for you please just look it up. Sinclair Method or TSM is successful for 75 to 80% of the people whom use it. Best to you. The good news it that you do have to continue drinking for a little while for the medicine to work. Sounds odd but look it up and you will understand.

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Dear Kelly,

    you have no idea how much I identify with you. Functional alcoholic. I was like that too when my kids were younger, but I was a single mother. That was years ago. Only now I admitted that I have a problem. Good for you to admit it now. My Dr said that, that is 90% towards healing. So way to go. Barry said all you need towards your healing path. 

    Good luck girl. You got it. If you are on Facebook then join the Sinclair Warriors. You will get aLot of support there too. Hugs

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Wanting to change and having a supporting partner means that you are 2/3rds of the way there.

    ?For me, the final 1/3rd was Naltrexone. It doesn't work for everyone but it's certainly worth a look.

    ?Good luck!

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Kelly

    Yes, sounds like my story. I went to my doctors over 10 years ago and was sent for counselling which helped a bit but the habit built back up to 2 bottles. After a few times of asking the doctor for help and receiving “counselling “ I decided to find the help for myself. I found The Sinclair Method but knowing my Doctor would not prescribe any medication I tried the online doctor at pharmacy2U and was prescribed Selincro. I started taking that last Wednesday and have gone through hell with the side effects but it’s now working fine. I had a lot of help and support from this forum and also an independent advisor called Paul Turner who runs an “at home” detox clinic. My main help has come from Joanna on the C3 foundation site. The main thing is to understand how TSM works, talk to a councillor or someone who understands the problem and then decide to deal with it. I’m taking back control over my life and it’s starting to feel great. I hope you decide to do the same and wish you all the success in the world, you want to deal with it so you will. 

    Good Luck 

    Lindsey

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Great to hear from and honest you are! Sinclair metho d is great. ,Google c3 foundation Europe and watch the videos. I realise that are USA based probably. Nice husband and kids! I drank as much as you but for many more years and also had small children to look after. Had to stop. Live longer and more healthy and see them grow up, marry e tc. My advice to you as a new friend
    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Wow you are all so amazing and I thank you so much for your support. I’ve never done anything like this before so it’s scary but to have such encouragement from total strangers is amazing, thank you guys 😊. I’ve been looking at TSM . Am only new to this but do u take day noltexone ? Sorry if wrong spelling but have only just been reading about it all the last 45 or so mins. Sadly I’m up while my husband is in bed and I’m writing in this site whilst drinking a wine 🙁. I don’t want him to even know I’m on this forum, how sad is that but I’m embarrassed of my problem so I have to hide it..... it’s so sad. 

    I’m based in Australia. Thank you all so very much for your amazing advice.

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Kelly

    I am taking Selincro ( Nalfamene) which is different to Naltrexone but basically both do the same thing.

    It will depend on what you can get in your country and indeed if it will be prescribed by your Doctor or can you buy it over the counter.

    I am switching to Naltrexone but it just depends which one suits you really.

    Look it up on the Internet I’m sure you’ll find something in Australia 

    keep going 

    lindsey 

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Kelly, glad you are here with us. We're all in the same boat with our excessive alcohol intake. I have tried everything over the years including many attempts in aa where several times I got one month, two, three, four and even a year once. I devoted a great effort to make aa work and at times went to 3 meetings a day, reading, meditating, had sponsor etc. Much of the time I still had that urge to drink, it was like a scratch you couldn't itch or a hornyness when you could not get sex. Naltrexone will take away that urge to drink and when it doesn't you take the pill one hour before you drink and have your drink or drinks. This extinction method is ingenious. Do not take the pill every day, only take the pill when you believe you will drink. Studies have shown that taking Naltrexone is FAR more effective if you take it one hour before you drink. In America unfortunately only a few hundred doctors know about TSM and they prescribe Naltrexone daily because they are unaware of the many studies and there are boat loads of double blind studies which show TSM is much more effective 78% of the time where Naltrexone taken daily is less than half that amount. So the answer to the question is: take Naltrexone one hour before drinking PERIOD with no adjustment to that.

    And just my thought about your wanting not to tell your husband you are on this site. Your husband already knows you have a drinking problem believe me. He would likely be relieved that you want to stop or reduce your drinking. So, when you are ready, I would suggest you tell him you feel you are drinking too much and want to stop or reduce your drinking. Just let him know you are researching when you are ready. After you learn more about TSM inform him you have found something with proven studies and research. We're all in the same boat me included. Best to you Kelly.

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

         How I overcame alcoholism | Claudia Christian | TEDxLondonBusinessSchool. Kelly look at this u tube.
    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Kelly, i really do identify with your drinking, I too often drink late into the night often after the other half has gone to bed. I'm hoping to try TSM with nalmefene, its just taking a while to get this prescribed, but today I have been given an appointment with the prescribing doctor of a local alcohol service, so hopefully soon i will be on it.

    Good luck with everything and keep coming back to this site, people on here have been really helpful, informative and supportive.

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    How have you been? 4 days since last activity. Just wondering how you are keeping? Robin
    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi guys sorry it’s been a busy week, work, family and movie time of an evening with my darling husband so no time to really respond, I’m sorry.

    I still haven’t had the courage to admit to my hubby that I have a serious problem... I’m scared to go to the doctors, sometimes I question myself if I really want to help myself. That sounds terrible... My best friend is in the same situation but a few hrs away. I feel like I need someone that has the same problem to get me going in the right direction but someone close by..? It’s so hard, I think about helping myself but then think about a bottle of wine to drink tonight.... my husband is amazing but I need encouragement and help from other ppl. When he brings up my problem and in a nice way I always get s****y. I have no friends close to help me or be with me if I see a doctor. I know I’m trying to find the easy way out but wow... this is so hard even admitting my alcohol problem. My parents know I drink a fair bit, they don’t know how bad though.. my brother has joked time and time again in the past that I’m an alcho. Wow, for someone that is and for a person to say that as a joke, hurts sooooo much. Sorry to go on... I feel like for the first time I can speak honestly about my problem. I don’t tell my husband as I’m so ashamed and embarrassed. Thank you all for listening and for your honest opinions that I appreciate xx

    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I drank in excess for 25 years and never wanted to admit that I was an alcoholic but I was! Being honest and talk ing with the family was something I had to do 😁

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    hi kelly i am having issues too i drink wine to not a whole bottle but half a bottle ot every night i think about it all the time alchol runs in my family my dad and brother i have a great boyfriend a new puppy but lately i have been drinking a little to much my bf thinks i could be a borderline alcholic i am gettign so scared that i am and i am obsessing now about it i have gained weight from it i feel sluggish the next morning  nauseas etc.... help adive i need i am thinkign of quitting all toghether i dont think i am equipped for alchol i am a light weight and i get mean and sad afterwards i am sorry i am blabbing on and on i am just scared and i need advie 
    Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up