Why is Alcohol my best friend and my worst enemy?

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Hi back again you must be fed up with me.I'm fed up with me.had to reset password took forever-now I won't remember new one !  I cannot catch a bus to Hospital I cannot walk to bus stop.Hubby cleaning or cutting grass.so too busy to take me !  He is fed up with me as well. Would appreciate some answers to my question.I think i am just Lonley.I wish I had some friends.Sorry for the self pity. Right now you are my only friends.Love Sue x

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  • Posted

    Hi Susan

    Not fed up with you - I understand the way you are feeling.  Which question in particular were you looking for an answer for?  Might be worth searching for Inclusion in your local area?  They helped me sort my detox and I feel so much better now.  If you were to go to the hospital - what would you be saying to them?  Have you drunk anything today?  Some hospitals have a dedicated alcohol nurse section so might be worth a google - I'd look for you but I don't know where you are.  Will always be here to support you when I can. Lorna x

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  • Posted

    Hi. We are all here for you as you will be for others once you get better and decide that you are much happier when sober. 

    Firstly you must start tapering to stay safe(have written about how in a previous post so remember to keep looking at what friends on here are saying. You really have to make an appointment with your doctor on Monday. Could you take someone you trust with you? Or write down exactly what you want to say, give it to the dr to read( or post a day or two before you go so he/she understand that you are really serious and want to get better. If you are very lucky they will prescribe diazepam and anti nausea tablets to help, though you can buy those over the counter. 

    The hospital staff will only help you,plus mental health nurse, if you are practically dead. Otherwise they will send you home once you've sobered up( I've been chucked out in the middle of night a couple of times and they are rarely sympathetic. Though it might be different in your area. 

    Be prepared while detoxing ie correct meds, loads of water, vits which you've said you have, lucozade, soft drinks you like, fruit, veg, crackers and healthy meals. Pamper yourself while recovering in early days like watching fav tv programmes, good books, relaxation CDs etc.

    You can do it smile xx

     

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  • Posted

    Hi Susan,

    I'm new to the forum but would like to offer any help or support I can, even just someone to talk to if you feel lonely.

    Agree with paper fairy it's time to start making that plan and taking steps to get yourself in a better place.

    Have you drank at all today?

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  • Posted

    Hi Sue,

    I totally get you about drinking because of lonlieness. Often thats what sets me off, and I end up going out and talking to people - anyone - in pubs/clubs/bars. Sometimes they get really sick of me and tell me where to go, sometimes I am asked to leave the premises, sometimes they are friendly, and sometimes I have got invited back somewhere to carry on drinking or whatever.  Worst case scenarios - ending up in hospital - have done that often enough, or arrested, or attacked/robbed.   No hospitals are not very sympathetic, especially if they have you on record as being an alcoholic, and I have been woken up and chucked out in the middle of the night several times, after being taken there by ambulance.

    Whatever the outcome is, its a no-win situation from any angle. 

    The addiction agencies will definitely help you to start cutting down in stages. The one I was going to - Lifeline - did this, and it seems to work if people really want it to.  They also have group meetings which is good and supportive. If you go to youre Dr, they would probably refer you to the nearest addiction agency anyway. Lots of Luck.

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    • Posted

      I too am under lifeline ursulauc, frustratingly feels like a slow process, but after speaking to the people in the waiting room it pays to stick with them - which I am doing.

      Doctors were hopeless, again they don't see it as an illness just addiction and we should help ourselves. After reading up and watching a lot of documentaries I can't believe addicts are treated the way they are. I too was subjected to feeling worthless and having to stand up and admit I'm a failure, when there is a better and more successful way to handle things. Paul has been fundamental in changing my view of myself and my addiction and I'm grateful for that.

      I have heard one forum user talk about the benefits of finding a forum like this and knowing there is a way out and how we should pity the people who aren't afforded the liberty to find a site like this, I wholeheartedly agree. We're not the dregs of society - no one sets out to be an addict, anyone will tell you that.

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    • Posted

      We certainly seem to be treated as worthless by 'the authorities', - medical profession - even in quite subtle ways that they might not even realize.

      Last time I saw a psychiatrist - I have been seeing one every few months after being an inpatient in a psychiatric unit for a short time - I was sent a copy of the letter to my GP, which said I 'had a limited insight into my problem' - i.e. the alcoholism. I would strongly dispute this, and probably wont attend my next appt. Psychiatrists can be pretty patronising and offensive.

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    • Posted

      If you are referring to me, BK522, and things I have said have helped you re-evaulate yourself positively, I am delighted smile
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    • Posted

      Ursulauc

      Why don't you leave the booze for a couple of days or a day. Go to your next appointment sober and say politely I very nearly didn't come for this appointment as your comment to my GP upset me.

      Explain that you are very aware you have a drink problem, otherwise what am I doing here? But you have to be completely honest. If you find this particular psychiatrist  offensive the next time you see him/her ask if you can see someone else.

      Dont just do a DNA (did not attend) as it will go to your GP and be on your medical notes that you were offered help but didn't bother going

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    • Posted

      I wonder too, if that isn't a routine that Psychiatrists use to "ping" you and get underlying stuff to surface. Kind of like a one-man "good cop / bad cop" routine. After all, if there were one profession that would know how to get someone "plugged in", that would be the one.
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    • Posted

      Psychiatrists in my experience, are like marmite, you either love them or hate them. The very nature of their job is to get you to open up. However like all of us they have different traits and are not 'one size fits all'

      I had a brilliant one who I could natter away to about anything, drinking, family problems, anxiety, you name it. I saw him for five years then he  left.

      The next one, I honestly couldn't understand a word he said. All I did was say pardon the whole time. I did manage to get the word deaf. After about ten minutes I'd had enough, he couldn't speak English properly, end of! I just stood up and said this is wasting my time and yours, forget it. Went to reception and asked for someone I could understand.

      Its bad enough with a GP or any doctor who can't make him/herself understood, but it's a double wammy when it's a psychiatrist.

      i agree with you that they are trying to drag stuff out of you without you realising it. You have to be totally honest, waste of time saying I've only had a glass of wine all week, when you've had 12 or more ( just so you can get a driving licence back)

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    • Posted

      Hey, I dont drink - I havent drunk regularly for years.  I have a problem where I binge sometimes for a couple of days.  I have gone for months without drinking many times.   I have no desire to drink right now, and cant envisage that I will any time soon, although yes - I admit - I have said that in the past.
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    • Posted

      VickyLou - its not me who has ever lied about this. Its my sister who will be doing this - and yes she does need a medical although she has just the one conviction - she was over three time over the limit.
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    • Posted

      ursula -

      That's where the Naltrexone (or Namefene, though Naltrexone usually has fewer side effects) might come in handy for you. There's a driving force that people with AUD run into, it's called the Alcohol Deprivation Effect. Often, when one abstains, a pent-up urge builds, which  turns into heavy drinking when a person runs into a triggering event. Frequently, the longer the period of abstinence, the heavier the drinking when abstinence is broken. 

      Naltrexone helps blunt this by denying your brain the pleasure that alcohol brings. When you take Naltrexone (only on the days that you drink), your brain begins to forget that alcohol is pleasureable and eventually you stop turning to it when you experience the triggering event that would normally make you drink. Your brain then finds a prior activity that you used to enjoy or a new one to replace the old "toy" that it used to enjoy so much. 

      The Deprivation Effect is why you have "said that in the past". You and many others that binge and who's stories I've read many times. Just ask Paul or Joanna, either one of them have heard similar stories many, many more times than I have.  

      Don't let your sisters experience with side effects from Naltrexone (or Selincro) put you off, they typically pass in a few days to a couple of weeks. Some never notice any side effects at all, as if they'd taken a sugar pill. One of the most common things I read from binge drinkers that start Naltrexone (again, only on the days when they drink, per The Sinclair Method) is that they no longer experience blackouts, which is like gold to them. I'm a daily drinker and never drank to blackout (I could never get that many down), so I can only imagine the relief they felt. 

       

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    • Posted

      I used to black out at least twice a week.Ive been on naltrexone 12 days and not blacked out yet
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    • Posted

      Thanks ADE.

      Youre advice is very good.  I was told by Lifeline that Naltrexone may not be for me as I am not a regular drinker, but it is looking as though it might be beneficial for me.

      I do have the experiences that I drink and then afterwards wonder who onearth I was while I was doing it, and never want to do it again, and that feeling lasts for ages, and then suddenly something particularly stressful happens, or maybe even another sort of trigger - I hear a piece of music that I used to listen to alot in the days when I used to drink safely and went out to drink with friends, and it makes me remember the good times.  Then I feel an urge to drink coming over me again. Sometimes I resist, but the only way I manage it is by going into shutdown, and going to bed, turning of all the lights, if its daytime, shutting the curtains, and going to sleep. Sometimes I can sleep through until I feel OK again and the urge is gone.

      There are the times when I havent done this and just given in to the urge.  Lifeline have been trying to contact me to see how I am getting on. Maybe I should ask them about taking naltrexone again.

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    • Posted

      Great post, ursula, thanks! I'd never heard of the dark room technique, it almost sounds like something my sister would use for her migraines. Wouldn't that be odd if there turned out to be a connection. Well, lots of discoveries left to be made in how the brain works, let alone the rest of the body!

      It certainly can't hurt to have some Naltrexone around. If you never drink again, you'll never use them. If you do, then take one an hour before (and repeat that if you're still drinking 12 hours later) and it should help keep the binge more within bounds. Best to start at home, just in case you do have side effects. I would imagine in a case like yours, you could even do a "dry run" and try it once when you had no intention of drinking, just to get more familiar with it.  

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    • Posted

      That was a great post, ursula, thanks! I'd never heard of that technique for staving off a binge, it kind of reminds me of what a friend would do to avoid a migraine

      It certainly can't hurt to have some Naltrexone around. If you never drink again, you'll never use them. If you do, then take one an hour before (and repeat that if you're still drinking 12 hours later) and it should help keep the binge more within bounds. Best to start at home, just in case you do have side effects. I would imagine in a case like yours, you could even do a "dry run" and try it once when you had no intention of drinking, just to get more familiar with it.  

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    • Posted

      Thanks ADE.  Yes it sounds like a good idea to get some just in case. If it make the drinking experience So, So - and I'm not getting much enjoyment from it, than thats really what I need.

      I'll talk to Lifeline about it.

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