Why is Alcohol my best friend and my worst enemy?

Not fed up with you, Susan, not in the least. Always feel free to come here and say how it is for you!

For you and me and millions of others with Alcohol Use Disorder, alcohol becomes the brain's "favorite toy" that it turns to frequently and will continue to turn to, until you can show it that the "toy" is broken and doesn't work anymore. It's "learned" this over thousands of days of drinking, but there are steps you can take to help it "forget" that alcohol is something that it craves, something that makes it happy. If you're like me, logic and reason will not convince it in the least and if you look around, you'll find plenty of others that continue to drink in the face of all logic and reason. That's because you can't access that part of the brain with those tools. For others, that works just fine, but not for me (and I suspect not for you either). If you haven't seen CThree Europe's post about this, have a look:

https://patient.info/health/sinclair-method-for-alcohol-use-disorder

That's one way and it has a very good success rate. RHGB knows a fair bit about Campral, which can be a good way to go as well. 

In any case, keep at it, keep posting and remember that your friends will always be here to listen to you!

I know how it feels to have everyone fed up...my kids..my parents...in my case everyone was just frightened...A friend of mine told me she checked the obits everyday in our town looking for me (we haven't talked in over a year).

​I hope your husband is just scared too...because otherwise...to NOT take your wife when she needs medical care...is just rotten.

​And I know that my b/f is not really educated on the dangerous effects alcohol can have on a person if they suddenly stop drinking.

​I hope you can get yourself some care soon.  Its worth it susan...and you sound like you feel like a pain for coming here to chat???  You shouldn't people are always glad to see that you are stil around and still trying.

Hi Susan 

Firstly, and I know other forum members will agree with me that no one here is, or will be fed up with you. So glad you found this forum, which for me personally, has been better than anywhere else.

I certainly know how you feel and can really empathise with you. You used the word lonely and I think I'm in the same position. I don't work now. Two of my three children have left home, although I have my four month old grandson once a week. I would never drink the day before he comes, and certainly not whilst he's with me. From 8am to 6pm I'm on my own. I've lost numerous 'friends'  through my drinking as I was always cancelling arrangements, sometimes even forgetting and not turning up. I highlighted friends because I've learnt that people who I thought were friends, and with whom I've confided in, aren't friends at all. However I have three very good friends who've stuck by me, helped and taken me here there and everywhere to appointments and clinics, but they also work.

Paper fairy, misssy and others have given more advice as to what to do now, like options, so I won't repeat them. They've said what could happen, medication, cbt etc etc.

What is your question sue, my iPad has been playing up, so may have missed it and the answers.

Whatever you decide, I can only reiterate that you shouldn't just stop alcohol. If you can't get a hospital or home detox, you need to taper gradually. You say your husband is fed up with you. Mine is just the same, he naturally gets very frustrated and disappointed, as do my grown up kids. They are all very supportive, but don't want me to taper off when the need arises, as they say I'm just saying it's dangerous because I want a drink. 

It is entirely up to you if you go to hospital or not, but if you do, don't be surprised if they don't offer help, support or medication.

I'm sorry for rambling on, but it's 4am and I can't sleep, but would suggest you look into taking acamprosate (campral) which is an anti craving drug. Maybe you could try to aim for it. You don't drink at all with it, unlike naltrexone and nalfemene, but then again it might be hard to get someone to prescribe it.

Lastly, never think we're judgemental here, we've all had different experiences with alcohol, and no-one's fed up with you.

good luck

 

Glad to be a friend Sue.  Would never, ever be fed up of you.  You can be as self-pitying as you like on here, we understand.

Take care and know that we care.

Pat.xxxxx