Why is TKR so tough psychologically?

Posted , 13 users are following.

I was somewhat prepared for the physical affects of this operation, but the psychological affect has been so much more difficult to deal with.

I am almost 15 weeks post op but, for the past few days, the nervous/anxious, unable to cope with the smallest things feeling has begun to creep up on me again.

Can anyone else relate or explain why this op gets to us like this?  Just not the person I was, although others think I'm doing better than I am.

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  • Posted

    Hi Lynn

    although I'm only into my 4th week after TKR I also find like you  I'm just not myself anymore.

    i find myself letting people do things for me which I never would have done before simply because I can't be bothered

    i seem to have become a different person from the independent character that I was before this awful Op

    i looked forward to getting my life back but somehow it seems to have taken part of me away.

    i have no idea what the solution is but if I come up with anything I'll let you know 

    take care and take each day as it comes this has been a traumatic experience.

    Jean 

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    • Posted

      So true.  If it wasn't for my husband keeping the house ticking over by doing washing, most of the cooking, housework etc. I'm not sure it would get done.  It takes a huge effort to want to do anything.  First thing in the morning and the first couple of hours seem to be my worst time for some reason.

      I'm sensing my husband's patience is wearing thin and I can understand why, but there is nothing I can do to shake these feelings of loosing myself.  Perhaps I need counselling?  Something I would NEVER have contemplated before.

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  • Posted

    Hi, Lynn, I am almost 13 weeks and just like you it just appears , I can go to bed fine and wake up so anxious about any thing and every thing .everything. Is a big deal !! . I have had this before but not usually over nothing .movement wise and pain wise I am doing really well ...the first time I had it was after a hysterectomy , and it was put down to the anesthetic triggering something go, said it was clinical depression . Although I wasn't weepy then ... I had spinal this time !! Hoping to avoid it. .is it just the shock your body goes through? ... Is it the alien in my leg? I wish I knew . It will pass . I tell myself I can beat the anxiety and it does pass ... Good luck, and you are not alone xx
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    • Posted

      Me too Pam.  Leg doing pretty well although I am constantly aware of my alien knee.  Perhaps that's it? This morning I woke up really shaky for some reason, hence the note I wrote first thing.

      Over the past hour I've taken control and told myself to get a grip and the anxious feeling will pass and I feel better.  The feeling comes out of nowhere and is awful.  Didn't expect to feel like this 15 weeks down the line. So comforting to know that we are practically at the same stage and you still get the wobbles!

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    • Posted

      Keep in touch. It is a horrible feeling. We. Have booked a holiday in 3 weeks to Cyprus . I am really looking forward to it, but keep getting silly thoughts about flying and the kids and grandkids Unless you have been there , it's hard I suppose for others to understand ...first thing in the morning for me us always worse . My hubby asks what I am worrying about .if you say the things out loud they sound silly , but to me they are real ... It is horrible , and wish  you well . We will get better xxx
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    • Posted

      We are planning a trip to the USA to visit my daughter end November.  One day I'm fine with that, the next I am thinking what the hell am I doing. Such a rollercoaster.  I think a change of scenery will be good for me, but worry about aspects of the journey, leaving my grandchildren etc.  Lots of small details I'd have taken in my stride(!) not so long ago.  Didn't think twice about flying to see her on my own a couple of years ago.  It's all about loosing control.
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    • Posted

      Hi all, I get the feelings you describe too. My husband is great and is still doing all the cleaning. I am doing some shopping and cooking now. But I find everything is a chore because you have to stand to do things and then I'm reminded of the knee! I found myself telling my sister in law this morning that    I should start thinking of a short break away but the thought of getting things ready and packing a case was putting me off. I could tell she thought I was a bit mad! We're going to a wedding next week and I just can't look forward to it. It's the worry about standing around I think. And, although I could have bought a new outfit for it I've decided to wear something I've already got as I just couldn't be bothered to go to shops to look for anything else.

      This is not like me at all, although it has its benefits I suppose in that I'm saving some money😊 

      I don't think these feeling will go away for me until I can stop thinking about my knee in everything I do. One day I hope to wake up and think "what shall I do today?" Instead of "I wonder how painful it'll be today?". I am getting better I know and feel I've stopped having days when I've gone backwards this week so maybe the anxiety will lessen soon too. (I'm 11 weeks post op tomorrow). Hopefully sharing our feelings here will help us all. 

      Jen x

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    • Posted

      This forum has begun to feel like I'm talking to a group of like-minded friends - Yourself, Pam, Tucks and others.

      So comforting to know that I'm not on the verge of a breakdown and that the feelings are 'normal'.  

      The sun is shining, we have our loved ones safe and sound.  Let's be thankful of all our blessings in such a bad world.

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    • Posted

      Poor you Jen, still feeling awful, it's this cant be bothered feeling that gets you down can't find any interest In anything. I am like it too. Last Saturday I went to a party at my sons took a lot of effort, but I bought a new top online and got my hair done. Felt ooh so much better, Jen in other circumstance you would have been fussing about how good you want to look. Could you not get th the shops and get something new for that wedding, I'm sure it would do the trick. Don't worry too much about standing ,grab yourself a seat where ever. People will understand. Another plus Jen you have another week to improve. Knock em dead girl, get that lippy on and show that op that it hasn't beaten you. Take care my friend love from tucks x
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    • Posted

      Thanks, Tucks. No, I don't think I'll buy the outfit but I have booked to have my hair done and might go mad and have my nails done too 😊 I'll probably enjoy myself and, as you say, people will understand if I need to sit down. In fact I went to two weddings last year and remember struggling to stand as my knee was so bad. I keep reminding myself that things are now getting better whereas before the op things were not going to improve. Thanks for your encouraging words and glad to read elsewhere that you're feeling better. Jen x
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    • Posted

      Because I am new and didn't want to upset anyone I tried looking it up and found other people asking the same question. Someone in that discussion asked if a Moerater could answer but nothing has happened since so I just keep pressing!!
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    • Posted

      Hi there Lynn. This is the problem with this damn op its leaving us all feeling very vulnerable and unsure. I'm sure you will be fine on your trip and how lovely to be able to get some lovely hugs from your daughter. Wish I had a daughter Lynn, still I have the next best thing with my daughter in law and granddaughter it probably is going to be a bit of a rollercoaster but you wil cope. You are bound to be apprehensive but there is always good assistance at the airports. Don't be afraid to ask. I have my granddaughters little Yorkie to look after this week and I was a bit worried at first, but he's such a good boy and we are having lots of cuddles. Take care my friend  love from tucks x
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    • Posted

      Yes, airport mobility assistance was excellent when we visited her in April when I had two bad knees.  Wheelchair assistance at Heathrow and in Denver was first class so I have no worries in that department.

      I'm sure you'll understand when I say I just feel safer when I know my surroundings.  Fine at home and when I visit our other daughter and grandchildren who live nearby.

      I hated sitting in a wheelchair, but the distances to walk both at Heathrow and Denver International are huge, so needs must I'm afraid.

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    • Posted

      Hi lucky you going to cyprus love the place. My sister goes out there next week and normally I would have gone with her,but at 8weeks I felt I would perhaps be putting a strain on her. I will be out there next march, like to see this damn op try to stop me then.this continual feeling of anxiety surely has to stop soon. Total disinterest in everything is so difficult to deal with. Just thought pam I wonder if the men who have Had the op feel like this or is it because of our hormones  love from tucks
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    • Posted

      I don't know Tucks , if it's a woman thing , I defo thought it was after my hysterectomy , but  now after the knee I am confused . It is our first time to Cyprus and I am really looking forward to it . If this doesn't go away soon speak to your GP about some meds to help x 
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    • Posted

      Hi Jen,

      Long time since we chatted, no iPad, not good. Have missed chatting with everybody soooo much, no one understands like the folk on here do.Just wanted to say have a fabulous time at the wedding. I, like you, am having problems standing for even short periods of time and the anticipation of having to do it can take the enjoyment out of any event, don't let it. Hang on to your hubby with one arm and clutch a large glass of red in the other. If it all gets too much find a comfy armchair and kick back. I am now 15 weeks and am still anxious, not like me at all, not even sure I know who me is some days but I'm still here somewhere and the day will come when all this pain and worry and anxiety will be a thing of the past for all of us. Let it come soon

      Debx

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    • Posted

      Good to hear from you, Deb. I'll do my best to enjoy the wedding. Sure I'll be ok when I'm there. You're right. We shouldn't let this op take over everything. Like you, look forward to when we can look back on all the anxiety as a thing of the past. Take care.

      Jen x

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