why oh why melbi and tiny tears

Hi Ja, its Katy, so can I join you in your rant then?

( :lol: Maybe its all to do with our age, we are 31, turn it round and what you got.....13 :lol: ). Anyway, my superstition is not really that bad....well now and then.

You raise a number of points that make me think gosh , yes, I empathise with how you feel. I swing from loving my partner, to dread despair and feellings of such strong resentment towards him. Sometimes, I thinkits me thats totally destroying this family. Then other times I think, nope, this man superceeds the actions of any male shovenist. take tonight , for example, couldnt be bothered picking children up from scholl, buggered of at 4pm to do his shift that finishes at 10pm , and left me the total days worth of dirty dishes, gee thank you , BOY, thats going to help my blood pressure. Followed by\"Katy, nobody said it would ever be easy\"...and heres me thinking, you utter t***, it takes 5 minutes to actually do the dishes, but everytime he does this, it takes me 30 mins at least. Grrrr! I know this is only a tinsy problem, but it just makes me feel totally worthless, and inadequate. Really if he had any respect, he would just help. Then other times, he'll do something, like phone me at work and collect a child, just to take some pressure of my day. I dont know, then I have my mum on the phone sayng\"All men are like that, Katy\" they would all love to just sit back and let it all be done for them. (Do you believe this, ? quite frankly, I dont). Should it not be hard work , then play? Then relax? Thats what I was taught to think. It should not just be all about work work, thats dull, boring. Call me bonkers , but I dont think that this is normal. Does this make me the schizo, should I believe him, does my temper not just stem from his treatment over a long period of time. And, oh :lol: it was pay day today.....dont know, wondering if I should put anything in the joint account as in his words, I only earn \"PIN\" money, so jesus, BOY, why should I pay the bills then??? Sorry cant add x and y together to make anything, :lol: thankfully. Sorry Ja, rant over, you do sound like you are getting better, it does sound it. Take care everyone, ja, I enjoyed the rant, hope you are okay. Take care, Katy

Hey Katy,

well 1stly not all blokes/mem r like that, those days where woman r chained to the kitchen sink r well over, u r a person in your own right, dont forget that..................50/50 nowadays sweetie, its good to have a rant....

well I am now officially divorced, went out with all my mates to celebrate last night, what a night we had, my mate who i stayed with found me asleep in my car about 4 am, dont remember it ?????? waht a cracking night though, danced the night away, Katy, i ran out of tablets on thurs , cant get new perscription til monday, i feel fine, anyones opinion but do u think i should stay on them or make a clean break ??????? any advice welcome??

Me, i really am doing good, dont know why but i feel like i have turned a corner mentally, the things that used to get me done dont anymore, i just have inner peace that i havent had for years????? i fell at last like i have moved on mentally, do u think i have overcome depression or is it lurking in the background ready to strike again???? all i know is that yes i feel angry sometimes but no more of crying with gut wrenching pain.......

has anyone had periods of feeling quite ok then went backwards?? i just feel like i have accepted it now, no more tears, no more feeling sorry for myself, i have the bit between my teeth like i used to, want to make a success of life again and of myself, all the self pity has gone??? i just hope it lasts and that i dont want to feel like i have done for so long...........i just feel good about life and am looking forward to living it again, to anyone reading this feeling down i hope that u can draw from it, believe me, i have suffered some sh*t, still do and i have been as low as i could mentally and physically take, i hit the depths and yet tonight im sitting here calm as calm could be, at peace with that head of mine, all circumstances are different i appreciate that and people get depressed for so many different reasons but all im trying to say is fight, fight and fight again, dont let this crap rule you, im not beinbg patronising please im not like that and i am so understanding of peoples issues but do whatever u have to to fight it, anyway im off now, love to all and take care......of yourslef aswell.

Way to go Ja, wow!! Love it!!! Well done you and keep it going!!! ( i am almost on the verge of asking you out for a date, but hey hoo, forget it, think I am off men entirely). But good on you, I feel so proud for you !! well done! (Huh, who sounds patrionising now?

I am taking citalopram and some other drug for my tummy complaints, had a huge panic attack tonight and then followed by the mental misery. Then when finished with feeling sh*t hyper and hoping, actually wishing my big sister to phone.

ja, i have to get out this situation. Even my children are telling me. but I am petrified!!! This man I am with is so clever and manipulative, and half of me just thinks , so unwell, but the other side of me thinks, Ive been through enough. So inner deeply upsetting. Anyway, ja Iam happy for you , So good you are doing well, you are a great mate. take care, you have given me hope, Katy.

Katy,

Never fear the future, i absolutely adore my kids, i would give up my own life if they would benefit, i love them more than anything on this planet, i also love my house, done it up and i was so proud of it, well i have lost my house and i only see my kids bout 130 days a year now.............at 1st i felt like ending it all, really did, but now i can see i hated my old life, i drank way too much, argued all the time, was down and depressed so why on earth would i want it back, if i did i would b unhappy again. All im tryng to say is never be scared, physical pain does hurt but mental pain is so much worse to deal with and at the mo im free of mental pain. Me and my ex had a physical relationship 2 days before it ended, but hey it meant nowt.................... this feeling i have now of inner peace is lovely, i feel free of crap, Katy, im still paying out sh*t loads and i havent got alot left but im content with my life, new chance and it feels exciting.

I would never comment on your relationship or give advice, but hey, just remember, only 31, hopefully we have another 50 odd years left, and Katy , try and spend as much of them happy, not feeling sh*t and hating the world, god i sound like Jeremy Kyle now, all im saying is u dont have to have money etc to be happy, for me happiness is my head feeling good, dont get me wrong material things help, and if someone was to give me a tvr id b over the moon. Katy, my kids have took the divorce okish, son of 5 just is a baby boy, my princess of 10 , well the jury is out but all i can is reasure and tell her that her dad loves and supports her even though im not there 100 % of time, im still and will always be their daddy, only advice i can give is do stuff that makes Katy happy, yes think of kids but they want a happy mum as well, be strong mate, u can achieve inner peace, love ja

Hi Ja

You sound very similair to me.

7 years ago I left my ex who was a complete control freak, he controlled the money and everything I did. I didn't know what colour I liked or type of music. It came to the day that I had to go. I left him to become homeless and stay with different people until the council found me a housee which was in line to be condemmed (knock down).

I left my 2 boys with him cos he could give them a better life in their home with their friends and school around them. I left my house which we owned and my pets. I had nothing.

I punished myself for 5 years for what I did. Last Oct my eldest son told me he was a lot better off since I'd left and that was the final straw. I felt like my life had come to an end. I left everything for them so my actions would not upset their life too much and I find out that he hates me. My youngest some still loves and shows it.

Last oct I had a breakdown, this were to much out of control, I couldn't get my feelings of worthlessness out of my head. Flet like everyone will be better off without me. It took a few weeks in bed and the love of my new husband to make me realise life is better withoiut my ex and all the things that have happened is a road to make me wiser and more laid back with other people and difficult situations.

I can work now and not push myself to hard and I can understand other peoples pain more clearly.

Ja....... my ex got together with the village bike 6 weeks after I'd left, even though he said he was heart broken. He used to phone and text me to sasy my boys are upset and it was all my fault, He let me go round to see them on the first christmas day between 8am and 9 am to see them.

He realy is a complete ####. I hate him and don't want to admit he's alive.

All you heve to do is exactly what you have already done. Remember all the bad times and what a liar she is and tell you children how much you love them.

Hope this has helped

Julie

x

Hi, Ja,

I'm new to this site but an old hand at Citalopram...

For future reference, if you run out before you can get your prescription renewed, you can get a brief refill from an NHS walk-in centre: it's best to take your old packet to make it a bit faster, but if it's during working hours they can call your doc and check. They won't give you a full 28 days, but it'll tide you over.

IMO you shouldn't just stop taking them without talking to your doc - though if you *have* run out and don't notice the difference, it's also worth mentioning that to him/her: I can feel when I've missed my tablets, and I can mess around with the dosage for a few days to get me through to a new prescription (or I did 'til I discovered walk in clinics!) but I would definitely feel it.

Good luck, anyway - and congratulations on your divorce! You'll know you're truly over it when you don't care about her one way or the other, but being angry is a good start -

Heff X