1. Community
  2. Women's health
  3. Menopause

Why won’t my wife ask for HRT from her doctor? What can I do?

Posted , 14 users are following.

Guest
Guest

My wife started her Symptoms about a year ago. She has always been a very happy person. This condition is seriously affecting our relationship. What can I do to convince her that HRT will help. I feel that the effect on her whole attitude to me of this Menopause is damaging our relationship. Don’t know what to do. She never had mood swings like she is having now. 

0 likes, 24 replies

24 Replies

Prev
  • kazzaxs
    kazzaxs Guest

    Posted

    Hi Graham

    It is a very difficult time when we as women have to go through this I have been in the peri for over 4 years it completely changed me as a person I was fun loving and easy going and I changed over night into a monster with attitude I did go to the Docters and they confirmed I was in peri and advised I start HRT I read all the horror stories about it and convinced myself it wasn't happening to me, I shut everyone out and me and my husband split up for a year.. we have got back together and I started taking HRT a year ago and it made a massive difference to me my family noticed a difference straight away and so did I, it's very scary going through this but our partners go through this with us it effects everyone keep talking to her and make that docs appointment there are lots of things you can do once you know what your dealing with, that's the first hurdle excepting it 

  • Mach10
    Mach10 Guest

    Posted

    Graham, first of all , I will tell you that what you are asking is very difficult to answer but I will try to give you my opinion from a husband’s experience / perspective . Hopefully this will give you something to talk with your wife about moving toward fixing the menopause issues . I will start by telling you that we have been happily married for 50+ years and we are in our mid seventies of age . I do have to say at this point synthetic HRT has its risk . My wife started her HRT process over 20 years ago and to our knowledge at that time worked well but she ended up having a lumpectomy 

    9 years ago and had to be taken off estrogen . After the successful treatment she was placed on a monthly testosterone injection by her Doctor. Now after 8 years of being on testosterone treatment , 6 months ago she went to having quartly BIHRT pellets inserted with testosterone included . I myself have been on testosterone treatment for 12 years which has worked well for both of us . I say all this to tell you that depleting hormones during the aging process for both men and women has got to be addressed in order to maintain a healthy hormonal balance in life. Keeping the Intimacy in our marriage has been very important to both of us and HRT has played a  big part in it. 

    My suggestion is for you to discuss with your wife to look for a doctor that understands 

    BIHRT and with proper blood work pursue the fix that is required . Good luck 

  • DaisyDaze
    DaisyDaze Guest

    Posted

    Hi Graham,

    Not sure why you think "HRT" will help. Commercials? Internet ads? Maybe it will help, but I've heard negative things about it too. Worth a try I guess. I wouldn't try to convince her though, I would just ask about her feelings regarding HRT.

    Aside from that, I pretty muched breezed through menopause. One thing I found difficult was when I was having a good day and my hubby came in complaining about work, his truck, the dog, the neighbor, the weather, the traffic, the bills...I can go on and on. Then my happy turned into "leave me alone"!

  • lelawreck
    lelawreck Guest

    Posted

    Dear Graham, I agree that there are a lot of side effects regarding HRT, but my 2 cents about it, I'll rather take the risk of these symptoms and feel human than having a miserable, unhappy, mood swings, hot flashes, anxiety and depression, night sweats, heart palpitations, migraines, hair lost, brittle nails, IBS and body ache days that i had to cope with.

    And yes, breast cancer is on the list of the HRT symptoms, and breast cancer is running in our family. If you get yearly mammograms the risk declines and in my case I took out a breast cancer insurance just per say. 

    There are Holistic routes to follow for peri-menopause. I was just to far gone as these takes a while to kick in. 

    I am a different person since I started taking HRT by means of the patch. I'll rather live a happy life considering the risks than living a miserable one not taking HRT. 

    • lelawreck
      lelawreck ImagineOneDay

      Posted

      Thank you ImagineCelebii. I do feel better since HRT. It wasn't an easy path though, my GP did prescribe a benzo and it is hell to taper off them. If I just knew that anxiety and depression is a symptom of going through peri, I would have never taken these and insisted on HRT from day 1. I also had to make a lot of health changes. Taking calcium and magnesium, omega 3 and 6 as well as Vit D as an extra supplement. No caffiene, sugar or gluten and alcohol intake. Took up exercising and manage to learn relaxing techniques. 

      But as said before, some women are lucky enough to breeze through peri and others not. I am one of the unfortunate ones. It is just a phase however and we will get our zest back eventually.  

  • anetta94863
    anetta94863 Guest

    Posted

    Dear Graham.  it would be great if the HRT could save your wife from this misery of menopause. I cannot take it myself, but I would kill to be able. I have to tell you that be happy that your wife is a strong girl and she can load her anxieties and depression on other people. In my case I turn against myself and I am in a constant suicidal ideation. I have become a child, will not let my husband leave for work, cannot have him work in another state, or even spend a night away from home. I have severe panic-intrussive thoughts that i cannot control. I think my husband suffers even more, but I beg him to help me because without him I am not sure what would happen to me. I lost all joy in life, feel no joy, no need to continue living, even tho I have an adolescent child. I have been a strong person most of my life, but insomnia have turned me into this anxious mess. Before, when I was still able to sleep i was holding on, now, for more than 6 months I beg my family members to come live with us so that my husband can take a brake. I feel for him and I am just so angry at myself that I cannot controll myself. But no matter how I try, I cant. Please, try to reason with your wife to try HRT. Many women say it is a lifesaver.

    • maisie05
      maisie05 anetta94863

      Posted

      Dear Anetta. I really feel for you and I'm sure a lot of others will be able to identify with a lot of your feelings.

      I could recommend a lot of supplements that I've tried but one that I think you could start with is Passionflower. Read up on it. It helps with mild anxiety and stress. As it can cause drowsiness I took it in the evening and I'm sure it helped me sleep. And I woke with less anxious feelings and the palpitations lessened. Don't drink caffeine, I drink decaf tea and coffee and herbal tea.

      Sending hugs xx

Back to top
Prev

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.