Will I ever feel like myself again?

Posted , 11 users are following.

I've been in perimenopause for over seven years now and it's been the most horrendous time of my life. Amongst all the horrible symptoms, the worst thing is the crippling anxiety and panic.

It doesn't seem to matter what I do - I've had so much counselling, there's just nothing left to say. I journal every day, I meditate twice a day, I do breathing exercises three times a day, progressive muscle relaxation twice a day, and not to mention the endless self-help courses and books I've worked through, but it just continues to keep coming back and getting worse and worse and worse.

The last seven years have just gone by in a blur of severe depression, extreme anxiety, panic attacks, health anxiety, OCD and rage. At this point I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping for menopause.

But then I read other people say these symptoms continue after menopause, and that just leaves me feeling hopeless. Is there really no end to this, even after the menopause is over?

3 likes, 17 replies

17 Replies

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  • Edited

    Hi Katrina,

    I could have written this post myself, along side digestion issues, I cant eat the same things anymore, no coffee, wine or sugar for me. The health anxiety and the whooshing noise in my ear have been the worst symptoms though, i am currently having CBT counselling at the moment but its not helping much. i have had every test going but it still hasn't convinced me that i haven't got a serious illness.

    • Edited

      Same with the digestive issues. I've had to give up tea, eggs, fibre, dairy, most vegetables and pretty much anything with flavour. I also get the whooshing noise sometimes, but it comes and goes for me and seems to be related to migraine.

    • Edited

      i relate to you , got bad indigestion and im seeing integrative dr paying out of pocket which i cant afford but no choice . Good luck to is !

  • Edited

    I definitely feel your pain and suffering! I've gone through every imaginable physical and mental symptom over the past year: numbing depression, severe anxiety, crying bouts, irritability, extreme rage, hopelessness, GI problems, bloating, hot and cold flashes, internal zaps (like bolts of electricity), the list goes on...

    Over the past ten months, or so, I have noticed a significant improvement in my symptoms! On some days, I feel the most confident and happiest, I have ever felt!!

    I turned 54 in October, and I am now 123 days with no period!! Given my age, there's a good chance that I've seen my final period.

    Although every woman is different, MANY women feel SO much better once perimenopause is almost over.

    Where are you in this process?

    Do you have solid emotional help in place, such as a supportive spouse?

    Reach out any time; I'll always respond:)

    PS - I promise you that this will end xo

    Sending hugs

    • Edited

      I meant the past FIVE years!!

    • Edited

      Thank you, it's good to know this will get better one day!

      I'm not sure where I am in the process - I'm 46 and this has been going on for over seven years now, so I'm really hoping it's nearly over.

      My partner is really supportive - he puts up with my irrational rages and takes care of me when anxiety cripples me - but it's not quite the same talking to a man about it. There's no one I can talk to who has experience of peri/menopause.

      It sounds like things have started to improve for you, so that gives me some hope, too!

  • Edited

    To answer your question...YES, you will feel like yourself again, except that it will be an even better version of yourself:)

  • Edited

    I hear you. It does feel hopeless. Especially with severe anxiety. I have had such terrible symptoms some days I don't feel like I can survive. Right now I have severe health anxiety, fatigue, GAD, PTSD, hives and atrophy. The worst hot flashes and night sweats in the world. I live in a humid climate with an above average Autumn. It is sixty degrees & I have the air conditioner on. I read the worse your hot flashes are the closer you are to the end. It's the ovaries last hurrah and they are shutting down. I keep screaming at them to shut down all ready.

    I read a couple of articles awhile back that women who have a harder time in Peri have an easier time when they reach menopause. That women who had easier peri stages had a harder time in full meno with more concerning health issues. Both articles stated that women who had harder peri stages completed the process while women who had easier peri stages took longer to complete the process of menopause. If that makes any sense with per brain. 😃 We are in reverse puberty. I know I had a terrible puberty and lovely teenage and twenty something years. My friends who had easier puberty had horrible teenage and twenty something years. I do think these two articles I read are on to something.

    The women in my family had terrible perimenopause. At the time they didn't understand. Their years afterwards were lovely and long with great health. I hold out hope these articles and that the women in my family proves that. I hope that gives you some comfort.

    • Edited

      That really does give me a lot of hope, thank you.

      Like you, I have severe health anxiety and, on the worst days, it's hard to focus on anything else or feel like there's a future. But it really helps to see other people who've come through this nightmare.

      Wishing you a speedy menopause.

  • Edited

    Kartrina I too am hoping for menopause but what scares me is that some women say that their symptoms become worse during and after menopause. Today has been rough for me. I am seriously thinking about going on some form of HRT. I cannot take this madness anymore. I am not living but barely surviving.

  • Edited

    Hey There, Kart...

    After reading your post, this is MY experience: I am in thee LAST and final stage of menopause, which is the DREADED post-menopause, and it is absolutely HORRIFIC, to say the least. My period ceased six years ago, and my symptoms ESCALATED, immensely! I am NOT trying to be a Debby-Downer, if you will, but again, this is MY no-sugar-added, UNADULTERATED, RAW gut-wrenching post-menopausal journey, and it has been a debilitating one! I am CONVINCED, menopause FORCES its way through ALL the STELLAR things we do to maintain our mental, physical and emotional sanity! (Hence: a good, diet, clean eating, high-end vitamins, therapy, meds, a support system, an understanding and patient spouse, etc..) Countless doctors, articles, and books proclaim, post menopause is smooth-sailing, yet I beg to differ! I wonder, how many women were actually polled regarding post menopause? Regarding anxiety in this stage, it has been ABSOLUTELY HORRIFIC!! Also, I encourage you to read as many posts as you're able to, regarding post menopause, that way you will know what the other bloggers are saying regarding this TSUNAMI!!

    • Edited

      This is sad you're still suffering. I'm so frightened that this continues forever. I can go with depression but physical pain is too much. I feel that it's just me to be this much sick.

    • Edited

      Hey Donna,

      Yes, I am STILL suffering, unfortunately! Each day, I FORCE my way to doing the things I must do, to get to the other side of this relentless TSUNAMI!

  • Edited

    My other symptoms aren't so unbearable but my digestive system doesn't work even with medicine. Stomach pain, acid reflux and constipation have stopped my life since a year ago. I can't do my yoga routine but I have to do meditation. I have lost the ability to swallow solid food. Now I have to mix blended food with tons of water to force it down. But all is nothing. My fear is this continues for the rest of my life. I couldn't find any answer online or in the books. I look at the older woman while they're smoking or eating vegetables or hard food and I tell myself I will get better but then I feel I'm different. What if I don't get better. You don't smoke, you exercise and you eat healthy, then menopause slap you in the face like this.

    • Edited

      Hey Donna....

      I am sorry to hear you are going through soooo... many unbearable symptoms, my heart goes out to you.. Sending you a BIG hug and virtual 2-carat diamond earrings/w the matching necklace. I am CONVINCED, menopause FORCES its way through ALL the stellar things we're doing to be healthy both mentally and physically, let alone emotionally!!😪 I have NEVAA smoked, am a VERY light drinker, hence, I might have a glass of wine, once or twice a month, I eat well, exercise, journal, etc.. yet I STILL experience the HORRIFIC symptoms of post-menopause! I suppose since this is a NATURAL part of our lives, it will happen, regardless of its good or bad outcome! I often wonder to myself, if I were not doing the STELLAR aforementioned things during this part of my life, where would I be? I will answer my own question: possibly, in an insane asylum! That being said, be VERY kind to yourself, and drink plenty of H20; be well, my menopausal sistah.

    • Posted

      I'm so sorry to hear that you still have the HORRIFIC symptoms (truly horrific) . I think there's a relation between lifestyle and symptoms. Whatever you live healthier, the symptoms will be worse. From the moment we start puberty, everything goes upside down. I just can wish you get better. I just know if you stop doing what you do now, your symptoms get worse. Please don't give up. I started a new hobby/skill that distracts my mind. Learning something new helps a lot. Thanks for your message.

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