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Will it have to be Prozac for life?

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alice7
alice7

There doesn't seem to be much activity on this board - but I would be interested to hear from anyoneelse who finds it hard to come off Prozac. Apologies in advance for the long post.

My last attempt to come off Prozac lasted almost a year. I have tried so hard...but I am finally admitting defeat. I am going to ask for a new prescription tomorrow. It feels like this little capsule that twenty years ago was my saviour has now become my captor. It is with feeling of utter failure and slight despair that I take these pills again. I feel I have no choice. The worst thing is, I don't understand why I hate it so much.

I was on Prozac for almost twenty years until I weaned myself off almost a year ago. This was one of many attempts. During those twenty years, I was never completely comfortable taking it.I was grateful for how it worked, how it changed my life, but for some reason that I could never shake off, I just didn't like the the idea of being on medication every day. I was not at ease with the idea of having to be on a prescription - of being dependent on this little green and cream capsule - simply to feel normal like everyone else.My GP could never understand when I talked about coming off it. He would more or less say, its working for you - why change things? Just take it, and forget about it. I still don't understand why I am so uncomfortable about taking it.

I thought in the beginning, that I would be cured of my depression and anxiety, and go back to the happy person I was, then when I was 'fixed' I would stop taking it. I was told then it was not 'addictive', and it WAS only for the short term. So how come, every time I came off...I not only suffered the most awful symptoms..I also felt 100 times worse than I did before I started taking it? It is like Prozac has changed my brain, so I am dependent on it simply to have any quality of life.

With Prozac, I am relatively content, I enjoy socialising, I can run a house and 'look after' my family and my ageing parents. Simply, I just get on with my life which is a good one.

Without Prozac, I am anxious and irritable all of the time. I feel far, far worse than I EVER did in the before I went on on it. I thought I was depressed then....but from what I remember it was never as bad as this. Its hard to explain, but it is like it is self fulfilling... like Prozac itself is causing my mental health problems. I panic at the thought of having to do anything that involves social evenings, sometimes I can't even cope with trivial or ordinary things like organising meals, or making lists. It all seems too overwhelming so I just don't do it. I get completely worked up about nothing. I fly into rages and feel awful afterwards. I wake in the morning with a nervous tummy and terrible anxiety about the day. When I physically get up and get on with it I feel better...but I can lie for an hour in bed in the morning feeling sick with nerves, and cannot find a 'place' to go in my head that is pleasant. It is always doom and gloom, and anger and sadness....and recently I have been contemplating all sorts of ways of leaving it all behind me. I can't live like this any more.

I guess it is just a case of getting my head to the point where I can see Prozac as a friend and not the enemy. I guess I blame it for getting me where I am in the first place - totally dependent on it. It's like, I have no choice in the matter. This is not how I usually live my life :p.I feel defeated and overpowered, even though the outcome is to my benefit. Its hard to explain. I mean, what if they find out it causes tumours, or my doctor just decides to stop prescribing it down the line. I feel trapped, no matter how I look at it.

I guess I would tell anyone thinking of going onto this drug that it is like a pitcher plant. Once you are in, you are in it forever no matter how much you try to scramble up the sides. It is not just a case of take it till you get well, then thank it, and move on. Prozac has you in its grip forever. From my experience.. I would say only start it if you can accept the fact it probably WILL be for life.

5 likes, 44 replies

44 Replies

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  • alice7
    alice7

    Posted

    Hi Frank.

    I'm still here. 

    Alice. 

  • sukay
    sukay alice7

    Posted

    I really recognise what you say.  Just wanted to show support.  neutral
  • jmadness
    jmadness alice7

    Posted

    Hi Alice, I found your post when I was searching for long term effects of prozac, and it really makes a lot of sense to me. I have been on some kind of anti-depressant since I was 12 years old, and I have been feeling like my body is probably totally dependent on them at this point. I have always wanted to get off of them, because I hate that I have to be medicated in order to be normal, and now that I'm older I may want to have kids and I don't think taking medication during pregnancy is ever a good idea if it can be avoided. 

    Anyway, I have never been particularly consistent about taking my meds, and I kind of stopped taking them without realizing it because I was just so exhausted from work every day that I would just fall asleep really early in the evenings and forget to take them. I stopped taking them for about 2 weeks without really thinking of them, and of course as soon as I realized what I had done I started having panic attacks. I was able to work through the panic attacks with really small doses of xanax, and now it has been almost a month since I have had my meds and I just feel horrible. I am irritable and get irrationally angry, small things are so overwhelming that I could just cry, and I don't want to talk to anyone about this because I know they will just say "go back on your meds". I felt like making it through almost a month without the meds would empower me, but instead I am just realizing that without them I really don't like myself. I was actually quite happy when I stopped taking them, which I am guessing is part of the reason I let myself stop in the first place. Now, I am having trouble sleeping which has never been an issue in the past. I usually sit up and read in bed,and i'll start to fall asleep while reading so I will put the book down and turn off the light, and then I just start thinking about all of the things in life that make me mad and I get really angry until I have to just get up. I don't remember having rage issues like this pre-medication, but that was 15 years ago so who knows. I think I'll probably just end up going back on the meds in the long run even though I don't want to, because I just can't live like this. 

    I guess it is nice to know that I'm not the only one who feels trapped by this medication. 

  • gypsarella
    gypsarella alice7

    Posted

    The Mental Health umbrella covers a wide variety of illnesses or situations.  Prozac is an SSRI that works to slow the reuptake of Seritonin into your system.  Seritonin is the naturally produced chemical your body makes and is the one that makes you feel good, to be simplistic. (It's in chocolate!) Some people have a chemical imbalance and need to keep the Seritonin from being flushed from their system too quickly.  When an SSRI, like Zoloft or Prozac does not work, then that is not the problem.  I have a sister like that.  Further testing needs to be done to diagnose other than merely slapping a label on and saying "depressed."  I have found that it and other meds in that catagory work great on me.  However, after a few years it seems to lose it's potency and needs to be increased or switched to a different SSRI.  I had no problem weaning off of it and trying another couple.  None of them worked as well for me.  By that time I had been off Prozac for 6 months and was started back on the lower dose and everything was fine.  Now fast forward 20 years.  I've been on Cymbalta for years and it doesn't seem to lose the potency.  I'm not "high" from it.  I just wake up with a desire to accomplish things and can think clearly.  If there are problems and stressors in my life, I deal with them.  I do have an anxiety attack from time to time, but that is an altogether different problem and I first try to handle it with biofeedback: going to a calming environment, deep breathing, unclenching my jaw, thinking of calming things, and half the time my headache and stress leave and I'm OK.  Sometimes it's not and I must take an Ativan, which calms but sedates me.  If you had Diabetes you'd be on medication for life, so what is your problem?  Obviously you are one of the lucky ones that simply taking a pill makes life worth living.  What is the big deal?  People every day take many pills at one time to relieve pain, adjust their thyroid, soothe Asthma, and so on.  How lucky we live in a time of medical correction.  Maybe in the future they will zap us and fix what is unbalanced.  My friend's husband was not as lucky.  He devestated his whole family by being unable to cope with his depression and meds did not help, so shot himself in the kitchen.  To live with that kind of pain is horrific and I thank the universe there are medications to help adjust what nature didn't.
    • jmadness
      jmadness gypsarella

      Posted

      It's true that medicines are quite wonderful and i am very thankful to have found one that works for me, but it is still scary taking something that could have some devastating effects that we just don't know about yet. For example, i have been on medication since I was 12 years old, and if I decide to have kids, will my continuous medication use have any negative effects on any children I might have? Will taking this medicine for my entire life cause memory loss or other side effects? I already feel that I have some major memory loss, and I am only 27, so what else is going to happen as I age and continue to take this? There are a lot of questions that I feel like no one can re
    • jmadness
      jmadness gypsarella

      Posted

      ...really answer at this point. I am still taking mine because I know it helps, but I am also still nervous about the long term effects. 
    • gypsarella
      gypsarella jmadness

      Posted

      I think you have to weigh the good vs the bad.  Your quality of life is important.  I know that I was told by my doctor to wean off the Prozac and Diet Coke (!) for 3 months before attempting to get pregnant.  I couldn't even take Ibuprophen while pregnant.  But we ended up having a beautiful, healthy boy, who has excelled in gifted classes in school, been on the football team and won a scholarship to college.  So the Prozac did not affect the fetus as long as it was cleared out of my system.  I know all docs don't go by that, but I figured better be safe than devestated.  As far as memory loss, I know extreme stress will do it.  Also, normal aging.  My friends and I (way older than you) are going through this now in our 50's and 60's.  But when younger, and my neices and nephews talk about this, when something is pushing you to panic attacks and heavy stress, they will forget things, misplace things and it clears up once it has been resolved.  Us oldsters....not so much, but we try and chuckle about it!  Please try to take it more in stride but don't let anyone fob (as you say on your side of the pond) you off on a regular general doctor.  Best of luck!
  • jennifer36345
    jennifer36345 alice7

    Posted

    I recently just have stopped my prozac and wellbutron. it has been over a month since i have taken the wellbutron. As far as the prozac i think it's been like 3 weeks. I feel so sh*tty. I feel happy one second sad the next and then feel like i can rip somones head off. I don't even have the words to describe how i feel inside my body and my head, I am so upset about how i feel that i am trying to reach out to others to see what it has been like for them. I have been on prozac for about 4 years. I was on it before and came off with no problems. But this time around i just don't know what to do to kick what is going on. does anyone have any suggestions sad
  • deedee8086
    deedee8086 alice7

    Posted

    HI Alice,

    I don't know if this board is still active but I just had to respond to your post. I've read a lot of forums but never once have I felt like someone's story was just like mine until I came upon yours. I've been on Prozac for almost 10 years now, but I've been on meds in general since I was 10 years old. 

    When I was first prescribed prozac it was amazing. I had zero side effects, except maybe weight gain, but that's a whole other story. I absolutely loved it. Everything was going well until one day my doc told me that I would be on meds for the rest of my life. That impacted me hard and since then I've just been trying to prove them wrong, that I could lead a normal life without it if I really wanted to.

    Throughout the years I've gone on prozac breaks and usually once I start feeling my depression coming back I go back on it. That has usually worked in keeping the dosage from rising. Prozac still works for me and like you right now I'm trying to go without it once and for all, but I'm only about 4 months in without it and I cannot function. I have horrible anxiety and my depression is now more on the anger and irrability side.

    What I am realizing though is that I may have to be on it for the rest of my life also, and it hurts my pride a lot, especially because I'm a strong minded person, but this is the only thing that I cannot conquer.

    I wanted to say thank you though. Knowing that I'm not alone in this struggle of trying to live life without it only to succumb to its strong hold on me is encouraging. If you ever want to talk about it I would be more than happy to. Well, thanks for your time.

    God Bless,

    DeeDee

  • mark65991
    mark65991 alice7

    Posted

    I have taken Prozac and prothiaden together for over 20 years. Before that MAOIs mixed with other things,and I have had ECT.  Prozac has been my best drug and although I would love to quit, taking  about three pills per day is easier than,say,being reliant on kidney dialysis. 
  • lineth02362
    lineth02362 alice7

    Posted

    Well, sometimes you just have to be on medication for life. I started using prozac in February due to panic attack and anxiety disorder. I was on celexa since 2007 but stupid me decided to come off it cold turkey. The biggest  mistake of my life. My panic attacks and anxiety attacks came with a vegeance and when I went back to it, celexa was working anymore. I don't want to be in medication for the rest of my life either but I rather taking it than feeling sick all the time. Why suffer when we don't have to right? Imagine how many people are suffering in third world countries with the same problems we have but don't have access to medicine. I would have gone crazy without medication. I take 1mg of ativan daily and 30MG of prozac..yes, I don't like it but I have to if I want to feel somewhat functional. Just relax and take it.
  • julie181963
    julie181963 alice7

    Posted

    I have been on prozac for twenty years, have tried a few times to come off near April and then feel the need to go back on them around October.  This time I have weaned myself off over seven weeks (taking one pill less each week) and I feel and am acting the same as I was before prozac.  It has now been two weeks since my last pill and I am deliberating whether to start them again.  I also feel that twenty years is too long to be dependant on a drug and would like to be 'normal' without it. I am thankful to prozac for saving my marriage and family life, but you say Alice it gets a hold of us.  

    I would like to know what has happened to my brain, has it been altered by 20 years on prozac? Will I sail through menopause, will I be less susceptible to Alzheimer's or vice versa?

  • lesley1985
    lesley1985 alice7

    Posted

    I have tried to wean myself off of Prozac (been on for 8 years, 4 years Zoloft before that).  I have to say I don't feel like it caused my depression at all.  I vividly remember how I felt before I started it and why I started it.  I will always need it because I have generalized anxiety disorder from my childhood and inherting it from family members.  I don't blame it at all, I thank it.  When I try to go off I realize why I started it.  I don't feel stuck, I feel helped.  smile 
    • adam260482
      adam260482 lesley1985

      Posted

      I've just started a course of it and feel like I am gaining control of my life again off 20mg Prozac. When a doctor told me last year it's okay to be on it for life I felt relieved if anything. I was depressed as a kid but my mum and dad just put it as me being quiet and I did too. I'm eating better, talking socially more and not drinking booze to evade the anxiety thanks to Prozac. I've had cognitive behavioural therapy but it just comes down to chemical imbalance. You wouldn't expect someone in a wheelchair to start running after a course of medication. Making people aware and being honest will hopefully stop the stigma. Thanks for your post. I'm new to the forum and it's kind of cool I can share my experiences with others. All the best!

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