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I'm gaz 33 from Leeds
I suffer from depression & anxiety pretty bad I've had so much bad luck in my life people say they should write a book about me.
Anyway I don't feel sorry for myself I don't look for sympathy I keep myself to myself I'm a great actor cos everyday I'm putting on a front to family and friends basically cos I think in my head there probably sick of hearing my bull so I don't really express how I'm feeling I really struggle to talk to people.
Nothing has gone right for me in life everytime I build a good life I mess it up and throw it all away I push people away I can't keep a job I've no confidence.
I have a son that's 8 years old he's the only reason I'm still breathing today his mum makes my life a misery she causes 25% of my depression all on her own she's the devil in a dress.
I tried killing myself last March I went to different chemists all over bought sleeping tablets and that night swallowed them all with a bottle of brandy but just my look I woke up 2 days later could hardly move couldn't get to the toilet. From then I thought god wants me here to torture me for been selfish and leaving my son without a father so everyday I hate myself I look in the mirror I feel discusted.
I get things in my head like my boy would be better off without me and my family would also. I know it's selfish but soo hard to be happy my depression tablets help a tiny bit I get the odd day I feel content not happy but content. I'm close to losing my job soon I've had 3 years longest job I've ever had lol on a final written warning just more good luck.
Maybe there is people out there that feel the same feel free to get in touch
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