won’t eat

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hi i have 7 year old daughter and since very little always had problems eating and now she has got worse she sticks to one dinner and thats it wont try anything else and then she will get fed up with eating same thing and im at loss cause what else she will eat as every food is yuk to her so now at the moment all she will have for her dinner is hot dog and brekfast is choclate sandwhich ...anyone else going through same ?

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  • Posted

    iv been there brought the tshirt .

    my middle daughter would eat nothing but spaggeti hoops cornflakes toast and custard .and a little chicken. i tried and tried the other two would eat almost anything but not her, i made faces with mash and peas and all the crazy stuff i tried veg burgers . i tried withholding food i tried putting the same stuff down for every meal nothing worked . i am afraid i lost my temper in the end and pushed her face in her dinner. i just gave up and let her eat what she wanted , 

    shes 27 now and still pretty fussy eater but she does eat much  more verity than as a child ,beef and chicken in gravy, fish finger, chicken legs , bacon ,potatoes tinned carrots , its not the best diet but it what she eats , she may change again in a few years , but please do not force your daughter or threten her i mean your eat it or eles , i no its so easy when your worried , but you can lead a horse to water you cant make it drink , just keep trying little bits of new stuff , as long as shes eating something. a friend of mine was threatned by her dad he said eat your dinner she said i eat everything except the meat , her dad said your eat everything so the only control for her was to eat nothing . she lived to be just 27 .so be very careful not to force the issue . and see if in time she will change 

    if you have funds take her to see a natrapath maybe could help.

    give her time hun better shes eating something.

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    • Posted

      yes i agree with you i never force her to eat i dont believe in that it just makes matters worse so i let her have what she eats and be thankfull something is going in her but its very stressful and she dont get better she eats lesser !
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    • Posted

      Personally i would cook healthy meals for the family and make meal times as relaxing and enjoyable as possible. Do not start cooking especially for her as you will make a rod for your own back. I work in a school and some children are extremely fussy at home and their parents try to tell us they are at school but if no fuss is made they generally eat just as well as the other children! It is fine for them to exercise choice but they shouldnt take control. Dont worry as she wont starve. if you cook a meal and she refuses to eat it, just ignore it. Clear up quietly. Is she says she is hungry say she has missed dinner now but there will be plenty to eat at breakfast. It wont do her major harm to miss a meal or two. If it carries on you could try negotiating with her and suggest you cook her favourite meal if she eats breakfast or lunch or on fridays for example. It is so easy to fall into a trap of worrying so much that they wont eat that parents end up creating fussy eaters. I dont suppose everyone will agree with me but you dont get fussy eaters in deprived countries or in families where they can barely put food on the table. 

      I am a mum of 3 children, now adults. The first two i refused to cater for different needs and they both eat anything. The third i gave in when he was older and he really started to become fussy! After a couple of years i realised what i was doing - ending up cooking different meals for everyone so i soon stopped and now he is fine too! It only took a couple of weeks for him to get the message and to retrain me!!

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    • Posted

      my grandbaby who is four is exactly the same in nursery as at home having said that she has always had bad constipation since a baby and her parents have always tried to get her to eat veggies and drink fruit juices but you truly can see the fear of food in her eyes even cake and jellys and such its so crazy and we are 3 years on now how she manages is beyond me as my two would eat anything the youngest her dad would not eat veg but as he got older he ate all types of veg and wierd stuff as does my eldest i want to cry sometimes when i see her so afraid of the one thing that keeps her alive but she is always full of energy how??????
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    • Posted

      thats another thing about eating i will eat soup and nothing but soup for weeks,then cheesy mash for weeks on end,or fish for weeks on end nothing with it just the item i want it makes my brother crazy as he has a very varied diet,i have gone fifteen days without food when in a hospital ward just vitamin drinks and tea they warned me several times i would be force fed on a drip even that did not phase me as i just could not eat in front of anyone strange ???
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  • Posted

    Are there any other things, apart from eating, that don't seem quite right with your daughter?  I'm wondering if your daughter has autism, which could be mild or be more like Asperger's syndrome.  Autistic people often have strange eating habits and likes and dislikes for certain foods, but if she's autistic there would be other problems too such as poor social skills.
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  • Posted

    a friend of mine had the same situation with her 5 year old a few years ago and when visiting the doctor he told her not to worry about it because he only liked two or three things he was getting enough nutrotin so she left him alone and let him eat what he wanted. she would put out other foods and eventually he began eating other things on his own. maybe try bright coloured foods to get her attention and just leave it up to her.
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  • Posted

    As you say your daughter is 7 years old, she must be going to school - what does she eat at lunch time? Childrens' behaviour at school is often very different to what you see at home. If she has a packed lunch, then she will still be controlling what she eats, but if she has a school dinner, then I wouldn't be at all surprised if she ate a much bigger variety of foods along with her friends.(She might not tell you about it!) If she was having a cooked meal at lunch time at school, then I wouldn't worry too much about what she was eating at home. And when eating at home stops being an issue, then she may well start to eat more variety there as well.

    Will she eat sweets and snacks? If not, then there may just possibly be more to this; children on the autistic spectrum can have a very difficult relationship with food. If you have noticed any other differences in her behaviour, it would be worth seeking an expert opinion.

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  • Posted

    Usually children grow out of it but sometimes they don't:  my grandson, 15, will not eat vegetables, and I know a 94 year old cardiologist who hasn't eaten veg all his life.  A girl I knew at school would only eat chips in bread and butter.  A distant relative eats chips and stodge only.  They survive but they're not healthy. But most kids grow out of it.  I found, with a very, very fussy son, that he would eat if a friend ate the same thing with him and if he was having fun.  Try not to be anxious around food times with your daughter!
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  • Posted

    Did you try taking your daughter shopping so she can choose what she likes the look of, into the shopping trolley.

    Have you tried cooking and baking with your daughter?  Buy her a pretty apron and children's size (pretty) cooking utensils.

    I believe that if you don't put too much importance to her behaviour at meal times, it will be less stressful for the family.

    Hope these ideas will help.

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  • Posted

    My son gradually started eating less and less from about age 5 on.  He is now 24 and eats pretty much only pasta, cheese, and pancakes.  I tried all the different "tricks" to no avail.  I truly believe that to him most foods taste terrible, to the point of making him gag if forced.  My suggestion would be to accept your daughters strange eating habits and just be open to any ideas SHE may have to try something new.  Be patient, as she gets older she will find it embarrassing and will want to try new things, to the point that she can.  The worst thing for my son was that when we went to inlaws for holiday dinners, they made such a big deal of his fussy eating and dwelled on it so much, that as a teenager he refused to attend anymore. To this day he still will not go to his grandmothers house for family gatherings, nor will he go out to restaurants except for breakfast (because he likes breakfast food), and then only with close family or friends.  My son wouldn't eat in the cafeteria in college because of embarrassment and it really hurt him socially so please be careful as the social damage that can be done could be significant.  I also believe my son is somewhere on the Aspergers/Autism spectrum (undiagnosed and high functioning), something that another poster mentioned as a possible correlation.  I'm not sure it means much other than helping to understand.  Good luck!
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    • Posted

      Being on the Autism spectrum could be highly significant, Lucy. I'm a psychotherapist, and I write about dementia.  Changes in the brain with dementia can alter individuals' food preferences, so perhaps Autism has the same effect. Just a thought - never seen any research into it.  Interestingly, all the people I know with restricted food acceptances grow up to be fairly OK.  But it can be such a worry with small children.  I thought the suggestion about involving the little girl with shopping and cooking was brilliant, and I'd like to know how that works out!

       

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    • Posted

      being embarresed while eating is the worse thing it comes so easy to some people, i was recently at my sons wedding and made so many excuses to get away from the table as i did not know the people there i am even freaky with my family members i have had this since i was 13 i am now 55 it really is a problem as i take my meals well what there are of them to my room rather than eat in front of anyone i have perfect table manners just this crazy phobia ???
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    • Posted

      if you do not have this phobia about eating in front of anyone you will never understand it and when someone draws attention to it oh my god you just want to shrivel up and dissapear, my brother once wheni was younger bought fish and chips and i said i am not hungry thanks and he ignored me and put them in front of me, we were sitting on the floor watching a film and were both in our 20s his wife was there and my two sons and his son,only young of course i tried my best to eat them and hide i was eating them he grabbed my hair from the back and said eat stop being stupid! i was not being stupid but was in terror if he had let me go in the kitchen on my own i would have forced them downbut i left them and walked out some people think its a game its so not funny when you are afraid !!!
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  • Posted

    I've worked with children and young adults on the autistic spectrum for many years, and have found that it is rarely the taste of food that causes the problems, but the texture and sometimes the colour. For example, one boy would not eat anything brown, others objected to anything with a slimy or 'mushy' texture etc. etc. This is not to say that some children might not find certain flavours unpleasant.
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