Work/Life Balance--Guilt & Shame

Are any of you ladies feeling like peri has stopped you from even approximating your normal/old work schedule?

Last night, while driving a sullen job candidate to the airport--in a blanking blizzard-- my period came. (This trip was mandatory--my university is too cheap to pay for cabs so faculty have to act as Uber.)

I melted down completely. My brain fog is so bad I don't know how I got home in the white out conditions. This morning my emotions are alternating between rage--why is my blanking job so demanding about stupid things? And terrible guilt--why can't I hold it together like I used to?

I took a sick day to try to recuperate and deal with the stupidity of the first day of my period. (Brain fog and sweating is so bad I can't teach.) My chair is furious--even though I have 8 months of sick days saved--because I might have been scheduled to let another candidate sit in on one of my classes.....

How do we manage the guilt? The shame? The inability of others to understand? That I am absolutely doing the best I can.... The guilt is overwhelming. Why am I not who I used to be? Who I still need to be?

I want to handle this like a slow transition--the second adolescence that GailAnnie years ago told me this was. (She's right.) But how do we live like teens when we have 50-something's responsibilities?

Thank all you ladies for reading! Many days this forum is all that holds me together!

Love you all.

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