Worried and don't know what to do for the best

Posted , 9 users are following.

Im convinced I have the early stages of Alzheimer's but am terrified of going to be tested .

one reason I am scared is my husband says " he would rather not know " 

i guess this sounds a little selfish on his part but I know he wouldn't handle it very well at all ... 


2 likes, 17 replies

17 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi 1962,

    I am in the reverse position to you. My wife is convinced she is fine - just a little word blindness. I was very stressed while I waited to be told definately of the diagnosis. Once I knew for certain it was much easier. At present all it involves is for me to make allowances. That saves me from getting irritated to no purpose.

    Perhaps this might encourage your husband and if so, you as well.

    With my best wishes.

    • Posted

      Thank you for taking the time to reply

      I guess my first step will be to go to the Doctors and find out for sure , then if as I suspect do have it I will have to make some pretty big disisions .

      I hope you get lots of support for yourself and your wife .

      Kind regards


    • Posted

      Dear Gwyneth,

      Thank you very much for your kind and supportive reply.


  • Posted

    Better to know they have medications to stop it in its tracks.
  • Posted

    You could be worrying over nothing, I think you should go ahead and start the ball rolling to find out. If you get a positive result you can at least start on medication. I was always worrying because it was in the family, but once I was diagnosed it seemed more positve somehow, feeling that at least the specialist was in my corner, and I wasn't imagining it.

    As for your husband i'm sure he will be supportive in the long term

    • Posted

      Thank you for your time taken to reply, I am going to book an appointment as soon as I can .

      Kind regards and a Happy Easter

  • Posted

    I too am in the early stages and I'm happier knowing. I can laugh about it and at times I could cry about it. There is no cure, but they can try to slow it down. I went to see the specialist this week and I have chosen to have a little break from my patches because I feel constantly tired. If I don't feel any better off them, I'll go back to them. I'll try whatever is available. It's my short term memory I miss.... Good Luck
  • Posted

    Dear 1962,

    I may not know you personally, but I'm sad to hear that you believe you MAY have EOAD (Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease).  (I'm making a very big assumption here that 1962 refers to your year of birth, though I MAY very well be wrong.  If that is correct, AND Alzheimer's disease was diagnosed, it would be classed as Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease because of your age.)

    You SHOULD see your doctor with your concerns.  S/he will carry out a preliminary 'test' (Mini Mental State Examination (MMSE)) to see if your concerns warrant a psychiatric evaluation.  Many local doctors (GPs) MAY make a preliminary 'diagnosis' of dementia, but it takes further investigation to ascertain which specific type of dementia it is.  (Alzheimer's disease IS the most common type of dementia, but there are a whole host of others.)

    I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but there are NO medications that will stop Alzheimer's disease in it's tracks, though there are a few that MAY slow down the progression in SOME people.

    It really IS worthwhile you finding out as soon as you possibly can.  This will give you the opportunity to start finding out about the sorts of things that you can do to slow down the progression of the disease.

    Obviously, none of us here can possibly know of the relationship between your husband and yourself, but it may well not be "selfish on his part".  I say this as 'denial' and/or not willing to accept a diagnosis is a common 'coping mechanism' for many people. i.e. he MAY feel that such a diagnosis would be beyond his understanding and/or ability to cope.  I have seen this, literally, hundreds of times.  Many relatives DO find it in themself to 'come to terms' with such a diagnosis, and DO become most supportive.

    As lostinFrance correctly states, you could be worrying over nothing.  There are many conditions which mimic the different types of dementia ... sometimes called 'pseudodementias' that can be corrected if an underlying cause can be found and put right.  For instance, a lack of vitamin B12 can lead to a condition called pernicious anaemia which can very closely mimic dementia, and this can VERY OFTEN be corrected with vitamin B12 supplements ... often in fhe form of injections.  (There are other causes, too, but I just wanted to point out that 'lacking' in some essential vitamin CAN lead to very misleading symptoms.)

    Both lostinFrance and peter15273 offer a positive way of looking at receiving a diagnosis of Alzheimer's disease, ma'am, and the importance of finding out sooner, rather than later.

    Do pluck up the courage to see your doctor, ma'am.  The 'test' that I mentioned earlier is really nothing to worry about.  Your doctor will simply ask you some questions in an attempt to ascertain whether your memory is actually affected, and if it is, to what degree.

    I wish you well, 1962.

    Lots of Love and Light.


    x x x x

     x x x

    P.S. Please don't be offended, or alarmed, at the 'x's'.  It's merely a logo, of sorts, that I've used for some 30-odd years now.

    • Posted

      Hi there

      Thank you for your advise , I am going to make an appointment as soon as I can .

      Do you know if you have to stop driving if you are diagnosed ? Or can you carry on until perhaps your symptoms get worse ?

      Don't worry about the kisses 😄

      Many thanks for your time

      Happy Easter X

    • Posted

      Dear 1962,

      Thank you, ma'am, for letting us know that you will be booking yourself an appointment to see your doctor.

      You do NOT have to stop driving if you are diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, but I'd ask you to consider the 

      ramifications of what could happen once your cognitive (thought processing) abilities are affected, as they inevitably 

      would be over time.  (You MAY have heard, or read about people being stopped for driving the wrong way on a motorway, or 

      people who got lost driving to their local shops only to find themself hundreds of miles away from where they live.  

      Sadly, these are factual reports.)

      It is often family members that will approach a doctor and ask them to 'convince' a sufferer that they need to give up 

      driving.  Some doctors will try to reason with a sufferer that it would be in everyone's best interests, but some resent 

      being 'put on the spot' as they know that the law doesn't stipulate at what stage someone should give up driving, and yet 

      other doctors will try to maintain that sufferer's independence for as long as they feel possible.

      Having said that, you MUST tell DVLA if you have Alzheimer’s disease.  You can be fined up to £1,000 if you don’t tell 

      DVLA about a medical condition that affects your driving. You may be prosecuted if you’re involved in an accident as a 

      result.  (See the following link.)


      There's EVERY CHANCE that if, God/dess forbid, you were involved in an accident that your insurance company would refuse 

      to pay out if you hadn't told them of a pre-existing medical condition that could affect your driving ability ... even if 

      you developed the condition years after first taking out insurance with them.

      Often, people believe that they would voluntarily give up their driving once they realise that their condition is making 

      them a 'liability'.  Unfortunately, due to the nature of dementia, of whichever type, that realisation doesn't come, due 

      to the fact that they aren't fully able to comprehend things around them.  That's why it's very often family members that 

      will approach a doctor and ask for their support.

      I'm not sure how much you know about Alzheimer's disease, ma'am, but 'strange' things happen to the thought processes.  

      It's as though they are going through a grieving process. i.e. there's very often denial that there's anything wrong, and 

      they feel isolated by the belief that no-one knows what it feels like; anger that it's happened to them ... why me?  Why 

      can't the doctors sort it?; 'bargaining' with such thoughs as "What if I'd done things differently?", "What if I'd seen 

      another doctor, or asked for a second opinion?", "What if I'd lived a 'better life'?", "What if I'd been a better 

      Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, etc.?"; depression about what could have been different, what you haven't accomplished in 

      your lifetime, what you haven't said to loved ones, what it might mean to you as an individual ... what you haven't yet 

      done and whether you're going to have enough time to accomplish it, worry about what loved ones and others around you 

      might not be able to cope, etc.; acceptance of the condition and how it's affecting you and those around you.  (Sadly, 

      this is not something that's accepted by all dementia sufferers as by the time it comes to accepting their condition has 

      detiorated ... or the disease progressed ... to such an extent that they're not able to reach this point.  It's more of 

      an 'acceptance' in that something has changed and there's little that they can do about it.  (As people on here have 

      already explained, this is NOT the case with all sufferers, but this very much depends on the type of dementia, at what 

      stage it is 'caught' (diagnosed), and the speed at which deterioration occurs.)

      Thank you, 1962 for not, apparently, taking offence at the kisses.  I've found myself being accused of all sorts in the past, with people not being able to understand that there's no ulterior motive, that I'm NOT a paedophile, that I'm not gay, etc., so decided some years ago that I needed to add a sort of 'explanation' at the end of my posts.

      Blessed Ostara (Eostre) to you, too, ma'am.  (Ostara is the Pagan celebration that Christianity 'stole' in order to 'drive' people to their way of belief. ;-)

      Be well, my new-found friend.

      Lots of Love and Light.


      x x x x

       x x x

    • Posted

      My mother kept driving until hers was due for renewal and she could no longer pass the written test.  The examiner kept telling her to go home & study & come back to take it again.  She failed several times & finally quit driving.

  • Posted

    hi 1962

    It is so important to get early diagnosis, a half hearted approach

    to the the Doc, may result in delays, an MRI scan is needed to determine an accurate result, a very easy and short process, BUT this all takes weeks of valuable time to arrange and process,

    The next step is medication, which in turn means starting on a low dose

    and building up to a level which is effective,  takes several weeks, if such medication is not suitable, important to request change,

     Different statins/doses suit different people,

    The very simple process of telling DVLA does not mean your driving

    licence is taken away, just a twelve monthly check by them to medical

    staff, requiring you to answer, what are very simple questions, 

    push your Doc for scan, and ask about vitimin

    supplements that may help,  the time factor

    is critical to living many more normal years,

  • Posted

    I've been diagnosed and I have to say I was rather dissapointed, but not surpised. I get a bit frustrated, I'm on Rivastigmine patches 4mg/ 24hr. I'm not sure they do much but am tollerating them well so there's nothing to loose. I'm happy to discuss my issues if i helps anyone. Just as an asside I'm on a lot of pain releife meds too as I also have Osteo Arthritus
    • Posted

      Hi there , thank you for taking time to reply

      I'm sorry to hear you have been diagnosed with this awful disease , but at least your now getting some help which hopefully will delay it .

      I have just made my first appointment at the doctors for the morning , , I thought long and hard before taking this step , but figured at best it will put my mind at rest .. or at worsted I can hopefully delay it a little !

      I've started to increase my walking every day and I'm now taking a b12 complex and a Chinese tablet which supposedly helps with memory !

      One things for sure I'm not going to take any negative diagnosis lying down ... I know if it's positive I won't be cured but I'll do everything in my power to slow it for as long as possible !!!

      Stay as strong and positive as you can eh

      Good luck


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