Anxiety.

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Hello, my name is Hayley and am 22. I found this forum and I would really like to share my experience and talk to other people who may be experiencing what I am experiencing. I feel like none of my family really understand how hard it is dealing with this.

I first started stressing over a year ago, I was having dental problems and because going the dentist is my biggest phobia I was really really stressing about it. The fact that the problems I had weren't clearing didn't help either and I found myself obsessing and stressing over it everyday. Getting myself worked up by googling the problems I was having and panicking even more when I read what could eveventyally happen. That's when I think my heart palpitations happened.

I've had palpitations since then I think I can't quite remember when they started but they were definitely as a result. I did go the doctors over this and the doctor said because of my age it was going to more as a result of anxiety then heart problems and told me to stop worrying and keep busy basically.

So I did try and do exactly that but it's actually really hard to just not worry and not stress about things. Keeping busy helps I find but if something is worrying or bothering you it's only going to stay in your mind and won't go away.

Anyway I've recently been going the doctors about this again as I found it's gotten worse.

This summer I experienced what I think was my first panic or anxiety attack and at the time I wasn't particularly worrying about anything, it was so random. Since then they have happened occasionally, the palpitations continue and I often feel like I can't breathe, my heart races and I feel sick.

It really scares me cause I feel like there is something wrong with my heart, like my heart is going to give up and stop or that I'll end up having a heart attack. Even though I have had two ECGs I still believe there is something wrong, everytime I get a palpitation I panic which obviously makes it worse.

Today I suddenly went light headed in tesco and that scared me, I feel so weak and sick I just want to go to sleep. If this is anxiety it's slowly starting to affect me daily and I feel completely helpless.

I just want to talk to people who are experiencing what am feeling, who understand it all really.

Anyone having regular palpitations like me? I got given some beta tablets today to slow my heart rate and to help with them. Has anyone been given something like that by their doctor and did they work?

Would really appreciate talking to others in a similar position about this.

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  • Posted

    Hi all,

    Wow, after reading these posts I could have written it exactly the same as you guys have. Im 29 and I have suffered with anxiety/panic disorders for about 8 years - had lots of up's and lots more downs!

    I can very much relate to the heart issues - just this morning I woke up with my heart racing, dry mouth, sickness feeling, and of course the impending doom completely washed over me and I began to cry.

    And all this is after CBT, numerous meds, counselling, hundreds of doctors visits, heart monitors, ECG's and all that jazz.

    I can have months were I feel completely fine and then I sometimes don't even know what triggers it but i'll end up back to where it started.

    I just want to say, I know exactly how you feel, it is going to be ok, keep thinking positive - easier said than done I know, but at least we aren't alone in all this!

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  • Posted

    Hey, I have really bad health anxiety as well and I always fear I have a life threatening illness. I am constantly checking my body for lumps or differences. I get so overwhelmed with myself. When I convince myself I have a serious illness like tons of different cancers, brain tumor, aneurysm etc....I start to panic and shake and feel sick. I cant eat, I get lightheaded and I cry with fear.

    I googled things a few times and every time my symptoms were that of a serious illness. I freaked out. I have been to the ER and am getting more test done. So far any test I have done has been good. Please God the next one will be as well. I am having sooooo much anxiety waiting for the test and what the results will be.

    I am also scared of going to the doctor because I am afraid I will hear bad news. I force myself to go if I need to but while I am waiting to go in, I am shaking, jittery, nauseous/nervous stomach etc....I hate it. I get anxiety over anything health related.

    It is so hard to live like this. I am 34 year old female. I do not smoke,drink, do drugs etc...I do eat takeout and stuff on occasion but I also eat plenty of healthy foods too. I am otherwise pretty healthy.

    I really love talking to someone else who deals with health anxiety/hypochondria like me. It helps to know I am not alone. I feel like I need to talk to someone who has the same thing as me so that I can compare symptoms to make sure Its not just me that thinks this way. I know that sounds crazy but it helps to have that reassurance. God bless you all who are going through this. It does get better I'm sure. I'll be happy when I get cbt and meds to help me feel better.

    My life is consumed by fear of dying, getting really sick etc...nothing brings me real happiness anymore. Even when I try and enjoy myself, the fear of being sick or having an illness is always in the back of my mind. I hate it!!!

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    • Posted

      Hi mandi,

      How you feeling now??? I can so relate to what you going through as I have been going through the same thing...I hate living like this and no one understand me how hard it is to be going through this everyday...it's no joke...

      I have real symptoms...stomach pain, ovaries pain, heart palpation, body pain, back pain, bottom pain...U name it I have it...I get very gassy too...been to doc few times and they assured me that I m Okie and it's just anxiety that's taking over me...but I wasn't convinced...I went back for blood test when was pretty Okie except for little deficiencies here and there since I have been breastfeeding for over 16 months...exclusively breast feeding and my baby is still not sleeping through the night which leave my body worn out...to add to it she is super heavy for my tiny body and I carry her a lot so the doc said the aches and pains tht I have is all muscular due to carrying her around...

      But here I m still trying to look for an answer as to why I feel this way...I fear illness...major illness...actually my body started feeling this way since I came to know my mom has cancer...and it's been an on going thing...been 8 months now....

      I Donno what to do...are you going through the same thing...do u feel the way I do...

      It would be nice if we can talk...I am 33 years old

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    • Posted

      Hello mandi,I saw your post n i decided too add too what you have said.First i would like say you dont to be scared..Fear is of the devil why do we av to fear of dying when our Lord Jesus Christ had paid the altimate price for us on the cross cavarrey...His words said we shall not die but live..whenever such negative taught is coming through your mind keep on rejecting those words n say positive about urself..Trust in God n he will see you through all ur fears n worried. Leonald.
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  • Posted

    Hi Mandi,

    You are not crazy! I can really relate to everything you have said. I have been through all of what you have stated. It's horrible. I had a crying episode this morning completely overcome with fear of health issues. Although they keep telling me I don't have any! I just can't seem to be convinced.

    It's one of the most difficult things I have ever had to try and explain to a doctor, my family and my boyfriend. Luckily they were all very supportive.

    But please don't think you are on your own. There's millions like us! We shouldn't suffer in silence either. I think it's great we can post our own individual situations on here. But they aren't all that different.

    Do you have any hobbies? do you work?

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  • Posted

    Hi Zoe,

    Thanks so much for your reply. I am a mom of 5 kids, 3 of my own and 2 step kids. Very busy with school, sports, etc...I also work a 10-11 hrs a day at my own daycare. I am very busy....Almost so busy I shouldn't have time to think so much but I do.

    I live in a city where I have no family at all but I live here because my kids dad lives here. I dont go out much since the few friends I have made are also busy with work and their own families. Its so hard to make time for myself. I do try and have a hot bath and read at night when the kids are in bed. I do have a supportive husband. He doesnt really understand all of this which makes it hard on the both of us sometimes but we deal with it the best way we can.

    I went to the ER doctor a few weeks ago for a 2nd opinion of a pelvic exam and the doctor said everything felt totally normal. I am convinced she lied to me just to keep me from panicking even more. I am logically thinking that doctors cannot lie to their patients but I still fear she did. she was the sweetest doc and so reassuring that everything felt fine. I still dont believe her. I wish I did but its so hard.

    Lately I have been having pains in my right shoulder I do carry a heavy baby carseat, I use my right hand for everything and more so lately than usually so I am hoping its that. But I am starting to think its something serious.

    Anxiety can also make us feel physical pain. I would hope its all due to anxiety ( my mild lower back tension, shoulder pain) and nothing serious.

    Its so hard to live like this. I am pretty good at controlling my panic attacks especially since I have kids and dont want them seeing me like this. Our oldest is 16. then two 14 year olds an 11 yr old and 7. They are in school during the day.

    I dont want them to see me sad or worried. Sometimes they know a little about what I am going through and try to talk to me saying; mom dont worry so muchsmile

    My biggest fear is dying and leaving my kids here with no mom. I pray to GOD that doesnt happen. I hate worrying about the worst scenarios. ITS SCARY!!!

    I hope your days get better toosmile Do you have kids? Do you take meds or get cbt? Thanks for listening and taking the time to reply. It means a lot!!

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  • Posted

    Hi Mandi,

    Im really sorry to hear about how bad things get for you and that you have to cope with it even with young children and full time work, it must really add to the whole experience of anxiety. I feel that it can worsen for me if I try and hide it or ignore it. I don't have any children but my partner is really supportive and if I am feeling very anxious I can let it happen and he knows what is going on and can try to help. It must be really difficult to have to go through this and still try to protect your young ones from the horrors of it all. I really wouldn't wish this condition on my worst enemy.

    Its good that you try and make time to relax and take a bath and read - I love getting lost in books, it just takes me to another world of imagination and my anxiety has no place there. :-)

    I really think that if the doctors thought there was something really wrong then it is their job to tell you and your right to know, I would keep telling yourself what they told you, that you are ok - it might sink in, in time. I was constantly wanting to hear those words from the doctor because it did put me at ease - the anxiety creeps back but for a while its not so bad.

    And I am trying to tell myself that as we get older, we get aches and pains that just happen because we aren't as young and spring chicken like as we used to be haha. I wasted pretty much all of my 20's worrying that something was wrong and that I was going to die any second, but I didn't. I am 30 in June and I am determined to not spend my 30's like that, I am wasting my life and I hate it.

    I have spent a lot of years like this and now my anxiety episodes are few and far between but it has taken a long time and a lot of different kind of help and patience from my family and friends. But when I am in an episode, its the worst time of my life.

    I don't have any children but I have young nieces who I am very close with and would hate to ever think of them feeling like this. I always put on my positive up beat vibe when I am around them.

    I had CBT but I didn't give it much of a chance. But it was good to talk about it at the time.

    I have tried a few different medications. I think its really important to find the right one that works for you. I had tried sertraline, beta blockers, and a few others but I finally settled with venlafaxine. It really worked well for me. I was on that for about 4 years and I came off those last year. It was a long process coming off them and the side affects weren't very nice but I really wanted to not be on medication. I now have camomile teas, herbal rescue remedy spray, I do deep breathing exercises and do more walking than ever before, it helps me sleep better, Im also trying to eat better.

    I have read books on anxiety and self help and the one thing that stuck with me was that the feelings of anxiety are very real, the aches and pains are all real, but they stem from a thought pattern, and if we can break that thought pattern into smaller chunks, and then even smaller pieces, we can aluminate anxious thoughts that cause the symptoms. I know its easier said than done, but I think its a really good thing to try!

    where abouts are you from? have you tried therapy or medication?

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  • Posted

    Hi,

    I live in Canada. We have really good medical coverage here plus we have excellent benefits so I should take advantage of any therapy and counseling I need asap. Its so hard to even find the time.

    I put on a happy brave face for my kids all the time. Sometimes its a challenge (when I am feeling really down) which isnt that often but when it happens I kind of distance myself from the kids. I will go in my room to rest or take a bath just to be alone. Sometimes when I have that fear of dying from a serious illness, I get so worked up that I cant focus on anything but that.

    I miss out on fun family time when I get like that which I hate. I dont ever want my precious children to miss out on time with me all because of my mental illness.

    Dont get me wrong, I do a lot with them and spend a lot of time with them reading, playing, cuddling etc...but there are times they want to play and I am so caught up with diseases, I cant do anything else.

    I hate it. I wish I could just get better soon and live my life happy and healthy without all these fears and worries. I wish that for us all.

    CBT is suppose to be the best treatment. I took Paxil off and on for over 16 yrs but it has made me gain weight. So I stopped in hopes to get my weight back down to normal.

    I understand that we all get aches and pains as we get older. I still worry about every little ache pain/sensation/twitch etc....no matter how mild I will dwell on it or notice it more than someone else would.

    I have had a few bad experiences as a child that was very traumatic and so health anxiety probably stems from that.

    I am going to try cbt for sure in the next few weeks. I have an ultrasound coming up for the pelvic pain (the ER doctor also said shes more than 97% sure that it will be good) after re-examining me. I am so worried about that and it makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it.

    She said to have it for my own peace of mind. Again, I think shes saying it cause she felt something and doesnt want to tell me. I do try and talk myself into believing what she says. I mean shes an ER doctor and has had to tell many patients bad news (she told me that) when I asked her if she was lying to me...lol I made her promise she wasnt lying to me. I sure hope she was being honest. I mean what does she have to gain by lying right?

    Realistically I have the common sense to know better but when my anxiety kicks in I think negative and think different about things. I dont rationalize things when I worry.

    I googled symptoms and everything came up as something very bad or serious. That got me into a big panicsad

    I am never googling symptoms again!!!

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  • Posted

    You sound like a very honest, hard working brilliant mother and I'm sure your kids mean the world to you.

    I really hope you take advantage of the help that is available to you.

    I know what you mean about being in that place and only being able to think about that one thing! It is horrible, but it's not forever. There are lots of people that can and will help. I think a lot of self help stuff is about giving it time.

    I really hope things get better for you.

    Has talking helped at all? Knowing that others have the exact same feelings and thoughts as you?

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  • Posted

    Hi,

    thank you very much. I always try to be a very loving, caring, protective mom. Sometimes a little bit too protective because of my anxieties I think.

    It does help a lot to talk to someone about this. I hope things get way better for you too. Keep in touch anytime you need to chat. I appreciate you taking the time to respond to me. Take care!!!

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  • Posted

    hi guys....

    am savio nd my age is 23.....

    Am glad tht i hav alot of ppl 2 talk abt this....am faceing these same problms...nd i hv no idea what to do.am having these problms since last year but i dint rlly knw what it was....i dint hv ne idea whats goin wrong with me....i thought am gonna die....i still have these symtoms....last 2 nights i could not sleep bcuz of my heart beat...its lyk a horse...

    Went 2 alot of doctors for this....bt all my test rprts were normal....that freakd me out more....cuz i have no idea what am suffrng from....last i got checkd by a cadiologist...he told me to do an ECHO....tht rprt was also normal...i was kinda happy nd also had a party tht night....had alot of fun....few days after i get back these panic attcks.....its realy distroyng my health cuz i cant sleep bcuz scared.

    no 1 in my famly undrstnds....they think am gone crazy...and also the doctors....i feel helpless.

    Can ne 1 plz tell me if this got to do ne thing with the brain....cuz last night i went to sleep at 4 nd woke up at 7....nd i got alot of water in my eyes...nd waz feelng very weak and numb on head,hands and legs....and my hands and legs r always sweatng....i strtd googling nd searchng for solutions nd got this helpfull site....

    Well dont have ne idea what should i do....and another thing is the centr of my head is always hot....i wash my head with cold water it stays ok for sumtym...bt it turns hot again....my hands are always red and sweat so r my legs....btw i hav been smokng weed for along tym...then i left smokng....last year i strtd again nd from tht tym onwrds am facng these prblms....so i stpd again...guys plz tell me what should i do.??help....

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  • Posted

    Hi I'm brandi

    I just found this forum today and a lot of what you guys said is exactly what ive been going through. It's been happening for a week now. I'm just so worried that sumn is wrong with me... I keep thinking bad thoughts I can't it. Just this morning I broke down and was crying bc I just can't stop thinking. I've been having a lot of headaches and that is what has me the most worried. Bc of course I googled what could be wrong and i seen brain tumor being something and I'm beyond scared now.. UGHH I hate this so much...

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  • Posted

    Hi Brandi, DO NOT GOOGLE THINGS!!!! It is the worst thing you can do. A headache can be caused by 100s of things. it really can...HOWEVER, no matter what you google, CANCER, BRAIN TUMORS etc...will show up. Thats because most sites never have anything positive. I googled things and they all said I had cancer of my stomach, brain tumor, ovarian cancer, blood cancer etc....I got none of that. I was so scared that I went to the ER and got checked. GOOGLE is sooooo bad. It will tell you stuff that no one wants to hear.

    My doctor is young and she said that when she was in medical school, she had 8/10 SYMPTOMS of MS and she freaked out. She went and got it checked and she was fine. A few of my friends are nurses and they were learning diseases and reading about diseases online...They were all convinced they had cancer, brain tumors, aneurysms etc...They all are healthy yrs later and nothing was ever wrong. I am not a doctor but the chances of you having a brain tumor are probably slim. Dont worry about that. You can still go to your doc for a check up if your headaches continue but here is a list of things that cause headaches that isnt a brain tumor:

    -tension

    -anxiety (which you have) I do too

    -worry

    - tiredness

    -stress

    -not enough sleep

    -caffeine

    -certain foods

    -bright lights

    -too much noise

    -migraines

    so much more...I am the biggest worrier too and I constantly worry about every little tiny ache/pain...any twitch, cramp or anything that happens with my body, I notice it and I pay attn to it. If you focus too much on your headaches they will get worse. Your brain will make you feel like your headaches are there as long as you dwell on it. It happened to me with my stomach pains. As soon as I stopped thinking about it, they went away. I hope this helpssmile talk to me anytime. I am Amanda and I am a young woman too.I'm 34...I think thats young lol

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  • Posted

    Thankyou a lot Amanda! That did make me feel a lil better.. its nice to know other ppl worry about stuff the way I do. And I have a bad habit of googling things so I'm def gonna make a big effort to stop that. I'm always stressed out bc I worry about every lil thing so maybe that's a cause of my headaches as well. The past 3 nights have been so bad for me. I'm just not used to this anxiety this bad. I'm gonna try my best to just calm down. I haven't gotten checked for my headaches for the fact that I'm so scared of something being wrong. Ugh hopefully I get up the nerve to do that so I can finally/hopefully put my worrying to rest. I'm 20 btw
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