Can anxiety/depression stop feelings of love?

I miss her so much !

Any advise for me please as she cant tell me whats wrong and hasnt talked to anybody because she thinks its just her ??

Help please

I read your post from a year ago and feel like it is my own. I haven't read all of the replies, but I will. Your heart sounds as broken, confused, and worn out as mine is. I have lost my confidence and respect for my husband. He seems weak and incompetent. It sickens me to write these words. I love him. But I am an empty shell. The last 18 months has taken its toll. I almost feel like the man of the house. I keep praying we can climb out of this hole and start living, loving, and laughing again. But, my hope is nearly gone.

It's been a year for you. I hope it's gotten better. I hope you found your way. If you have any advice for me, I would welcome it...

Annie

either that or get marriage counseling. its helping my marriage. 

if you dont get therapy then you will be forever trapped in a loveless marriage. how sad that is

I cannot write much right now as I am in the withdrawal of drugs. Please don't go on drugs even how much the practitioner say... He doesn't know the side effects and withdrawal and brain chemistry he messing with.

Hi liz I read your message and I felt the need to reply I understand you feel like your husband makes you feel certain feelings that he suffers with I can tell that you are in touch with your feelings and you get easily affected by your husbands distress which then makes you distressed when you first met you fell in love with a person you were passionate about and had a instant attraction to each other sometimes what happens is that when he became I'll he changed or to you it felt like that the person you love had changed this is incorrect because underneath the skin there is the man you still love he has just been in distress mentally and has forgot how to deal with his feelings it's easy to put up barriers to protect yourself but I know this sounds selfish but sometimes you have to live your life even if the person is suffering you should help them to help themselves but normally under this circumstance the barriers affect the person doing this ...you have both or are still distressed but you have to slowly and understandably approach the matter of distress with sympathy because too much pressure will make the situation worse ..he knows you love him and when you are close physically close you sometimes hurt the person you love as the person being you feels under attack ..try writing down all the things that make you happy together and try to do one thing a week and keep it normal and natural allocate a day to go through finances and if the situation isn't that great deal with it there is lots of help out there then remember the little things your husband did that made you happy and mention good times..remembering the reasons you fell in love will help ..I can't understand what you must be going through because you don't want to feel unimportant but loved and once you take small steps and have patients and understanding together it will help but sometimes things happen for a reason and sometimes you can live someone so much but if you do love that person and they want to end do what is best for the children and yourself and stay friends there are many people who live seperate and have a great relationship just listen to each other and don't shout because sometimes you don't want to hear what you don't want to happen ...life is so precious but take time to talk take sometime to listen

Hi liz54943,

I am not a health professional but someone who has been through something similar. From reading your story I believe that you are angry, angry towards your husband for the mistakes he has made that has contributed to your current situation.

Anger is a very close relative of love and I believe that you haven't stopped living your husband instead you are disappointed even angry with him. Try letting him know how you feel that you are angry with him, tell him everything and don't hold back your emotions. You see after my relationship of 18 years my ex girlfriend admitted that she never had any feelings toward me at any point. You love you husband deeply it is just you are angry, you have something that I never had, a partner that loves you don't throw that away, take care.

Hi Liz, 

The messages on your post are pretty full on. After a year or more, can I ask where you stand now ? How it's been going?

Reading your post, I totally feel what your saying. totaly relate. 

And I was thinking there might be two sides to it: One - your stressful times might have reconditionned your brain and/or Two - it could post-stress depression. 

Emotions and feelings can be conditionned. That is clear.

After spending 18 stressful months with your family, when stress is relieved, your brain is still conditionned for stress when you see you husband. 

Your brain is still in the new pattern of feelings. The stress feeling.

It used to be conditionned for lust and care and cuddles, because it was life. But now there's a new element to it. 

Feelings have changed. Life has passed.

I suppose everyone goes through that in a way or another at some piont and things change. 

But it doesn't mean your relationship is at question. 

Your relationship MIGHT be at question. 

but that's something else. You might want to ask now if you are happy , if you still want to stay together, not that your head is clear from the lust and desire and all the previous feelings.

And you're now facing  a new part of life and you see things with a differnet lense, your brain has removed the blur of early love. It doesn't mean you should quit. You just need to build something new and different. 

I mean, the person you used to love is still there. Same person.

Now, also after 18 months of stress, you're overcome a situation and now you are maybe just depressed and you can't feel anything or anything new or anything nice because of the post-stres depression. Maybe you are just stressed because you fear the bad situation might come back, you might be blaming your partner or yourself, it's just anxiety. Self protection. 

Anxiety builds up like that. You can't just leave your people because u've had a rough patch and your feelings are evolving. You'll just keep doing that. 

best of luck 

I am a 50 something man and yes anti depressants take the edge of your sex drive and your abilty to respond to affection. If your husband wants to listen to you and understand the experience that you have then you should talk to each other about whats going on. My experince is that affection and sex and a desire to express it dont last. you have to work at it. If you hold him responsible for a problem then doing so will kill the relationship. For the relationship to adapt to the new situation you must both together face whats happening.

Hi Liz it must be very hard for you to have been in a married for all those years and you are feeling like that.  It is so hard to explain to people how you feel because they don't understand.  I am feeling very much the same I have only been married for a year and 6 months and I am feeling that I wish I hadn't got married.  I have just had my son 5 months ago he is my world.  

The thing with me my husband works I don't due to ill health I have done well for myself and worked hard over the years I have 3 houses that I have paid for I pay for just about everything and he works I feel resentment towards him as I feel that i am being taken for a mug.

I had my properties before I got with my husband and I had paid them off, I feel that all my savings are just going and I soon will have nothing.  I am feeling anxious and depressed very much at the moment and feel on edge when he is about.  I feel for him in away because he must be walking on eggshells all the time.  He has got lazy and doesn't help very much at all.  Don't know what to do.  My illness has made me feel that I just want to be on my own with my baby. 

Hi everyone. I'm posting this because I have been going crazy the past couple of weeks and it seems like people on here might be able to help me. It'll be along post!! I'm sorry.

Some background: Starting just after Christmas this year, I have really struggled with health anxiety stemming from problems that did not really exist. I thought I had a brain tumor and spent every moment trying to convince myself I didn't. I took two trips to the ER during that period, where they told me that I had a pinched nerve and on the other trip, an anxiety induced migraine. Things have calmed down since I have been to a doctor and she told me I don't have a tumor. Then recently, I had a sensitive tooth and I couldn't help but think it was infected and I HAD to go to the dentist that day - or else the infection would reach my blood and I would die. I know this sounds nuts, but I'm just trying to give you a picture of my life. 

I am 20 and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years. I can't tell you how wonderful he is. He is kind, smart, funny, and comes from an amazing family that I love so much. Our love has always been stable and strong; he is my rock and my very best friend in life. We have the same goals and values, and I know that I want to have a family and future with him. We don't have giant arguments - we are really good at communicating and working out any problems we might have had. I've never once questioned us.

Until about a few days ago, when I literally woke up and felt nothing. This is the scariest feeling in the world. I went from absolutely ADORING him, to feeling nothing. It has given me such bad anxiety the past few days to where I can't eat or sleep really. I pace around my house obsessively, thinking about every little thing about us. I feel pangs of guilt anytime that he does anything sweet because he loves me SO much and I feel like suddenly, I can't reciprocate that. I've struggled with the question, "Am I still in love with him?" and it has broken my heart to even ask myself that. I feel so guilty. I don't want to leave him, and I don't ever think about what it would be like to be with anyone else. It makes me anxious to be around him because I'm constantly overanalyzing everything to see if I feel the same way, and to not be around him because I just keep overthinking.

This feeling has lasted about a week, and I have talked to him about it. I couldn't live with feeling like I was keeping a secret from him. He, amazingly, didn't go running. He told me that he knows I love him and that he's going to be right here while I work this out. That was so important to me.

We spent some time together today and I tried to remain in the present. We laughed and I found myself reaching for his hand and really enjoying his company. Then there would be pangs - intrusive, dark thoughts - that I loved him, but wasn't in love with him. I look at pictures of us, read our old texts, and know that that I AM in love with him. I knew it literally a few days ago. We've been together for years so it hasn't been fireworks for awhile, but he is my very best friend and I loved him on a deeper level.  

I'm a college student, and lately I don't have the motivation to do my work. I used to be outgoing and ambitious, but now I feel like doing the bare minimum to graduate. I am so anxious that I won't actually get into law school and will embarrass myself because of that. I kind of feel like I'm always waiting for the next thing to come along and that I'm just sort of... existing. I find it hard to get out of bed in the mornings, and while I used to love doing my makeup every day it now just sits there. I just don't really feel warm and fuzzy feelings of love anymore.

Do you think this could be me projecting my feelings on to my boyfriend? How could it be that one day I literally just don't feel the same way? I'm constanly battling between "you're projecting your anxiety on to him" and "you think you have anxiety/depression, but you actually just don't love him" and it is driving me CRAZY. I don't want to feel this way anymore, it is torturing me. I just want my old self back, I want to feel my love for him back. Help please!