Can any1 help, I have tried everything?

It hasn't wrecked your brain, it has altered it. For most people, the only way to stop it, reverse and get their life back, is by medication.

I would stop considering meds and actually go for them. Like everything, it takes a little bit of time, but most find that they work for them and alcohol stops controlling their lives.

The thing is i just want to stop all together. Tapering down doesnt really seem like an option for me, i just need to stop. I just do not want to do it anymore. The kudzu was helping physically but i think the emotional part of me over the last few days gave in. I just miss my family so much and really need to be with them. I suppose though that i cant just continue to trap myself in the house as mentally i think its destroying me. I have had real issues over the last few days  just even going out a few minutes. Sorry to sound like all i ever do is feel sorry for myself.... I just miss them so much and i am wreaked with guilt and shame. Did go to an AA meeting, so talking to others in person helped a bit. I just dont know what to do anymore.

The TSM method often leads to zero or virtually zero alcohol consumption for people. Believe me, your brain will keep on at you until you crack under the relentless pressure. Speak to Joanna, she can explain TSM better than I can.

I been reading up more about it today, thanks so much for your support

Sharon, RHGB is right. There have been plenty of people that want to stop,but can't. Immediate abstinence works for about 10%  of people with Alcohol Use Disorder, the remaining 90% just run into a series of relapses when they try it, often with each one being worse than the one before. I'm sure you've heard of and read about others in the same situation. 

Aside from TSM, there is campral. That's a medication that you can use while abstinent, but it takes a couple of weeks to kick in. The things that would normally trigger you to drink just "bounce off" and don't result in running to the bottle. 

Sharon, don't blame yourself. This is what happens with most people that have Alcohol Use Disorder. It's a medical condition, not a "spiritual disease", personal weakness or character flaw. 

Campral maybe more for me i think as i just can not continue like this anymore. I need to get better for me and my family.

I don't know if it's offered in your area, but even if you can get it, talk with your doctor about a "Plan B" should it turn out that Campral doesn't do the trick for you. TSM might be a very good Plan B, I've seen it help quite a few people that thought they would never be rid of this disorder.

sharon, the guys are right - the only way you are going to do this is with help from meds.  Campral or TSM - I would have gone this route myself but my tum is funny what it tolerates so that worries me a tad.  I suppose I am lucky (if you can call anything to do with the demon alcohol lucky) but I can taper and am doing again successfully this week.  I find that the less I have, the less I can tolerate.  Now getting hooked on choccy fingers and a glass of milk in bed with my night time read!!!!!!

I think ADE and RHGB are Masters at what they are talking about, Paul is around somewhere but is soo busy and in demand. 

Please don't despair too much; I can tell you now these guys can sort you out.  Listen to them.

G.x

How much are you drinking right now? When did you start to taper down?

Glad you are on the mend though from the sounds of it and enjoying your milk lol

I drink 2 small glasses of red wine from Monday to Friday, but by that time I have had a grand total of 10 hours sleep 2 hours a night - I wake at 2am and that is it until 7am when I get up.  Blooming nightmare.  Then Sat and Sun I have a bottle each night plus a larger, then a big meal I cook.  Then bed and ohh such a good nights sleep I feel like Wonderwoman the next couple of days. 

I started to taper a couple of months ago - it does seem to work for me apart for the odd blip.

Its hard i know, i am thinking about tapering too, i am just not sure if its an option for me as i really, really can not be seen to be drinking if i move to Scotland. So i am worried about when that time comes as i really, really will have to not drink any more. I dont even want to. I dont even enjoy drinking anymore and can never look at it in the same way again. I hate myself for doing it though, just like we all do most of the time. Its sounds like your controlling things pretty well and your husband seems to be a good support. Well done for getting this far.

Know what you mean about the sleep, mine is completley off the scale at the minute. Drank a tiny bit today but only a few sips. Wont be going out to get anymore. You are a wonderwoman by the way, i can tell that by what things you write xx

Campral is best, where people have been heavy drinkers and have ended up with a detox. When you have a detox, you have a slight honeymoon period, before your mind drifts back to alcohol.

It is during this period of not drinking, that Campral comes into its own. In fact in an ideal world, they would start you on Campral at the same time as a detox, so, by the end of a detox, Campral was already in your system.

As you are still drinking, Selincro is likely to have a higher success rate. Believe me, I used Campral, and would like nothing better than to sing its praises. But each medication has circumstances where it works best and unless you have a detox, or feel that you can go a couple of weeks without drinking anything, then Selincro would probably be better for you.

 

I can go for a few weeks without drinking. I have proved this in the past. However it seems beyond that point i struggle. This makes me feel like it more of a habit rather than an addiction? Does that make sense? I dont seem to get the withdrawl symptoms but always think about it? I think also that it has effected my general health though, more so in the last 6 months.

Sometimes i genuinely question myself as to where i am with alcohol....am i really addicted or just weak at times. I know i am a person who should not drink though as it does me no good at all in the end. I am going to ring my addictions team tomorrow and see what his thoughts are about medication. He has not mentioned it so far but seemed very much aware of the state i was in when i saw him. I am a bit surprised to be honest about the meds you have mentioned and that they have not even been suggested. You have to bear in mind that i have rarely left the house in two weeks apart from needing some drink or tobacco. My eating is all over the place too. In some ways i think i could just change.... make things better and move on to a different place. The other part of me knows that this is something that will always be with me and i am just so tired of it.

Sharon, what's offered 90 percent of the time is the traditional approach, even though it only works 10% of the time. Most doctors get very little training in addicitons and know little to nothing about the medications available for it, save antabuse (which does nothing for alcohol craving). 

On the C3 Foundation Europe website, you'll find a "Information" menu item, then under the infomation column, NHS Information Service and Local NHS Guidelines. That might help give you an idea of how to navigate the offerings. There are also private clinics you can go to if time is more important to you. Joanna can help with information in both cases. I believe there is also an online service that offers GP consultations in the UK and can provide the medication as well. 

"I can go for a few weeks without drinking. I have proved this in the past."

The problem is that the urge to drink builds and then comes busting out in an uncontrollable manner. I've conversed with a lot of binge drinkers and it's always the same. Another approach is needed to break the cycle and the traditional method of willpower only seems to make matters worse for many. For most, actually. 

Well, if you can manage a couple of weeks without alcohol, especially if you have a target to aim for, then you sound like a good candidate for Campral.

Of course it is a habit, something we do when we have too much time on our hands. It may be an outmoded saying, but the devil makes work for idle hands. If we are busy working or enjoying a physical activity, our mind is not usually on alcohol. As soon as it is not occupied, alcohol pops up.

You, in no way sound alcohol dependent, like someone that can't go a day without it. Yes, health suffers terribly from too much alcohol. The trouble is, it slowly creeps up upon you.

When you go to the ARC tomorrow, expect them not to mention medication. You have to take the lead here and I know that is difficult if you are not a confident/forceful person. Take someone with you if possible.

Whatever you do, please eat, even if you have to force yourself. There is nothing worse than giving your body alcohol, but no nutrtion.

Sharon. alcohol has changed your brain, medication is needed to put it back to the old days when alcohol didn't rule your life. Anyone that tries to kick alcohol by willpower alone, is going to end up with a permanent battle going on in their head, that will wear them down into submission and then they drink.

Hi Sharon.

I think I have missed some of this thread .You seem to be having a real battle with yourself and a lot if what you say resonates with me and my drinking. You can do this and get your life back but you need to make a decision now of which route you choose to achieve sobriety. RHGB mentioned he thinks you may be a good candidate for Campral , why not consider it ? Getting medication is a battle but one you can win with some determination.There is always the Sinclair method to consider too.

I gather it might be today you are seeing ARC . Best of luck, be strong and determined girl ! x

Good luck for today Sharon x

No i had to sell some stuff from the house today in order to clear it out a bit, that was weird. The place looks so bare right now. I slept a little in the afternoon. Hard day i have to be honest. But hey whats new!

Drinking...yes a little but not that much. I keep on getting sugar cravings. Sometimes i dont eat for ages and then its just mad. How are you guys?

 

The sugar craving is normal. I got that too when I started backing away from the drink. I actually started baking cookies, quite unusual for me to bake much of anything.

You say you don't eat for ages?

Sugar cravings can and do devlop when people abstain from alcohol. The body is missing the huge amount of sugar/carbs that alcohol provides. As ADE has said, this quite normal. It can be quite dangerous and for me it pushed me from non diabetic into the very first stage of pre diabetic.

I had to take action to reverse this. Eating cakes rather than sweets is better, as the overall sugar intake is lower. Not eating is not good, it usually means that your body is getting all of its energy from the alcohol carbs and therefore, no nutrients. There is nothing worse that compounds drinking than not eating as well. You are heading for problems, both brain and body.