Can depression/anxiety make me doubt my (perfect) relationship?

Hi everyone. Ive found that i am having the same problem as you all, and its been consuming my everyday life. For some background, ive been with my boyfriend for a year but we started dating 4 months ago. i know that may not seem like a very long time, but i KNOW he is the love of my life. i want to be with him and the thought of being with anyone else repulses me. I love him to the ends of the earth but randomly one morning i just woke up and thought "do you really love him?" which has sent me into a spiral of "do you really want to be with him? do you want to break up with him?" etc. this has caused me to be in a constant state of anxiety, sadness, nausea and vomiting, and panic attacks. ive started to look at him like a stranger. sometimes i give in to these thought and i think i want to break up with him, but then i see him and i realize that i really do love him. but the second he leaves, its back to square one and im telling myself to break up with him.

I have a history of anxiety though not diagnosed, and ive only tried herbal remedies (no real drugs or therapy). I am only 17 and my parents dont really believe in antidepressants so im afraid im doomed to keep feeling this way. also, im not sure it this matters but i just got the depo provera birth control shot for the third time right as the thoughts started, so that may have something to do with it although ive never experienced these symptoms before. i truly dont know what to do. please please PLEASE help me!!

Hi all,

I am having exactly the same issues with my husband- we married in October, I moved to USA, no job, no family, no friends, after a very successful and busy life abroad. Covid made things worse, and now I am on an antidepressant and therapy.

I think it is very important to find a right therapist- the medicine helps with symptoms, but the root cause stays and it has to be treated. Now finding good therapist seems to be very hard- someone you connect to, and most importantly, someone who instructs you how to move through life. I was very lucky to find a good one and i am seeing improvement in 2 months already. A few tips from her that helped tons:

1. do some physical work- gardening, sweeping, weeding. This helps me in critical points-when i feel highly anxious about relationship i dig the garden, sometime with a butter knife, anything that i find- it is a kind of aggressive thing and it calms anxiety. I cook, bake, do dishes, make myself busy, just to wind of the negative thoughts. You can not let the thoughts circulate in your brain for long.

2. My anxiety is triggered when my husband comes home from outside/work. it is my week point. So i calculate when he is supposed to arrive and get on my physical activity routine by that time. When he enters, now my mind is busy with weeds and plants, and it helps.

3. do some art- good or bad, pretty or ugly:0 I started painting- not particularly good at it, but occupies my mind-so I mostly start painting when my husband should get home. By the time he arrives I am in a kind of calm state, so i do not get my regular panic from seeing him.

4. Excersize and meditate- I have a back problem and i can not do excersize, but my therapist said it gives the fastest results- run, swim, bike. being in a pool helps me tons.

I hope this was helpful. and talk , share, discuss your issues with friends, family, forum.

omg! Its like im reading my mind word for word! Im going through the same exact crap right now. Im in such a wonderful relationship with the most perfect guy ever! Wonderful family, etc. I didnt even want a relationship when i met him. Overtime our friendship grew and i knew i wouldnt find anyone else s special as him. ive been hurt so many times over 3 years. That i never thought id find "the one" but here he is. I had the normal questioning about us but all of a sudden i became obbessed with these fake negative thoughts. i can feel the love off and on but then all of a sudden back to where i was. All i do is cry, cry, cry. Im trying to find the right anxiety medications to help. its been such a struggle. i suffer with anxiety, depression, also have aspergers. im so relieved to know that im not alone in this and there are others that are going through this. Its actually has helped me so much because ive been googling all day and its not helpful. im so thankful for a wonderful guy who has been through my side the entire time. Im sure being home 24/7 hasnt helped since i lost hours due to covid and took medical leave and now quit my job. This helps me a lot. what have you guys done to help?

What depression does is to make you think you have gotten to the culmination of a life that you have no reason to live, but to make you see your self struggling to survive.

You mentioned law school, i want you to focus on achieving that.

Hi! me and my bf is going through the same thing i think. he's the one with depression. there are days he is fine and will tell me he loves me and invite me to watch some of his games, and there are days where i can feel he's not okay. right now he's not okay again, he promised he will talk when he's ready. i learned not to force things on him when he's like this as it will make things worse for him. i'm trying my best to be calm about it and reach out like watching a movie or send him good morning/goodnight messages and memes. i constantly tell him i love him though sometimes he will not respond.

is there any advise you can give me or things i should do to make him feel better?

hey everyone,

i feel better reading this as i didn't expect a lot of people to be going through the same thing as i am. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and it's nothing but perfect. He is so amazing to me and i can't imagine losing him. During this pandemic when we weren't able to see each other, i think my anxiety had been exposed because when i next saw my boyfriend i vomited and i literally have no idea why. Ever since i have been vomiting whenever i see him and after a few days i feel better. This has made me question my love for him and all these other irrational thoughts that just wont get out of my head, i don't know what to do. He has been super understanding and has been there for me, we even decided to take a break too for 3 weeks to figure out what we want and how i have the opportunity to work on myself. There are days when i have an anxiety attack because i have just forgotten how i felt and how to be happy with my boyfriend and even when i look through photos of us, i just struggle to feel something and it makes me cry every time because i literally don't know what to do.

The answer is yes depression can. It works by inducing negative thoughts and has a negative mindset. Although i would admit that no relationship is perfect, both sides usually have to compromise on different things to make the relationship work.

Hi, I was wondering how you have been doing? I read this and it made me feel a lot better. I woke up one day with an anxiety attack and it left me very confused. My anxiety then wouldnt go away and i didnt understand it. It wasnt about my boyfriend at first even tho it made me change and be nervouse around him. Everything in our Relationship is great. He’s the best person I have ever met and makes me very happy. It’s recently gotten worse over time and my anxiety and depression has spiked. I haven’t been diagnosed with anxiety or depression but I know I feel it and i talked to a therapist one time about it. It didnt help. At first when he try to help me with my anxiety it worked but then the instructive thoughts came on. It was bad.. "do i love him" "your wrong for being with him" "why are you trying so hard to make things work when hes not making you happy" absoluty everything you could think of involving how i felt was there. its gotten to the point now where i cant have one day without thinking about it. i cried in the beggining and now i have no tears left when i feel like this. it seems like i dont care about anything i use to love which makes me think im depressed. then theres those good days where im very happy with him but im not myself. at this point im just terrifed at how im feeling. ive been dealing with this for a month. i get mad that im not sad when i think about it. but nothing makes me sad. i feel like i cant feel anything towards him or anyone around me. im empty inside and scared. i havnt been eating, drinking, or really taking care of myself the way i should. im always scared im doing somethong wrong. i adore him and i love him. i kmow i do. i feel like its making me not want to talk or be around him cause all the feeling come back and make me act different. i never know what to say or do. he tries being goofy woth me like we alwaus have but its like im not in there. i really havnt been feeling like myself latley because all that surrounds me is my thoughts and when theres no thoughts i feel nothing. whats wrong with me? i was just inlove a month ago before my anxiety attack. now im all sorts of wack. i cant sleep because all i do is think and i always have a straight face just sitting there... he tried hugging me when i started feeling like this and i didnt even hug him back i just had a blank stare on my face and nothing went through my head. i know this is everywhere cause i dont even know what i feel. im scared, lost. i want to feel like myself again. i want the outgoing carefree lovable me back.

depression and anxiety have a very strong impact on your mood and behavior and this is a major factor in how well or disturbing your relationship goes. you need to get your depression treated. chronic depression can lead to disability.

Hi,

ive been going through something similar ive been in the most fantastic relationship over the past 4 years, with the most loving and caring guy. I just recently have stopped birthcontrol after 6 years to pursue hormonal testing my body has been struggling and i cant control my emotions. over the past couple weeks its been getting worse. i cant concentrate, i dont like the things i used to love, i worry about all aspects if my life. my brain is constantly creating problems , and also physical issues. i feel like ive been punched in the gut all the time

recently, my anxiety has begun attacking my

relationship. a few days ago, the thought of breaking out with my partner came to mind d ever since it has not left my min d. i fear its getting worse because everytime i think about how much i love him, i get a stomach ache. everytime i think about breaking up, i get a stomach ache. i feel like my body reactions are telling me i dont wanna be with him which is making my brain believe that. everytime i get the anxiety feeling in my stomach, its like fuel for my brain to convince me i shouldnt be in this relationship

i am struggling so much. i feel like i dont want to be around him, because it aliviates my stomach ache, but when im alone, my thoughts spiral. everytime he touches me, i get a twisted stomach feeling and it makes me sad. i just want to get back to what it was 3 months ago

he is so supportive, trying to help me, loving me and giving me what i think i need, but i constantly feel mad or annoyed at him, like i dont eant to be around him even though i know thats not true . for me, i just need a piece if mind that the reason im feeling this way is because if the anxiety, depression and hormone imbalance, and not because this is real. we have talked about it, and he has said that if i need ti take a break i can, but thats the last thing i want to do i think. im just so confused all the time and its exhausting

i love him so much and cant loose him. i was fine 3 months ago but now i feel like im just getting worse . people keep telling me its the hormone imbalance and the anxiety but for some reason i cant believe them. i have appointments to get anxiety and anti depressents but i need to know that they will make this feeling stop.

Hi lovely, i'm so pleased i came across your post as i am currently going through a very similar situation. So I reside on an island so the lockdowns are different here, so basically back in january this year i was due to get married and 3 days before the wedding it was announced that we were going into another lockdown and our wedding had to be cancelled for the second time (the wedding had been cancelled last september too) because it was cancelled again i felt stressed, and this took its toll on my body especially with my hormones, during the last lockdown my monthly was later than normal and it caused so much more stress! Then that's when all these doubts, anxious feelings & guilt trips started to appear, i felt so guilty for doubting my feelings and the relationship, i felt confused because how could i feel all the love & happiness in the world to feeling nothing but doubts and numbness, it went from one extreme to another in such a short space of time. I felt so awful and not in control at all, so after the lockdown ended both my partner & I decided that it would be best if i went and stayed with my parents for a little while, just to get some breathing space. However we made sure that we would still keep in contact as normal. Its best to keep as much normality as you can despite feeling not "normal" , I've also been having private therapy meetings to help recognise and learn coping mechanisms to help with the negative thoughts, doubts & anxiety, its basically CBT which is Cognitive Brain Therapy and i have been able to manage daily life much better than i had done before but there are still days where i do feel really low and i have learnt that feeling low some days is ok, but when i do feel low i also always remember how i was feeling before this whole situation occurred and also talking to my partner has helped dramatically he has been very supportive with the choices i have made and he is always there if i need to talk about anything and the best thing about talking to him is that he never judges what i want to talk about, and when i do video call him, if i'm feeling anxious i can feel the anxiety fading the more we are conversing together and when the call ends we are both left feeling happier and more positive about everything. Sadly we have just gone into another lockdown so ill be staying with my parents until it ends, but im hoping that after this i'll be able to go back home to live with my partner and hopefully the thoughts will eventually disappear completely because at the moment they aren't as frequent which is good. Please take the time to heal and give yourself some self love, learn to fall back in love with yourself and know that your presence, dignity & feelings matter. Also write everything down, no matter how little you might think it is. It helped me tremendously. Take care 😃 x

thankyou for sharing this because i thought i was alone with this feeling. i have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years and things have been good i felt so much love for him. all of a sudden my anxiety had just worsened most likely because i have autism, and it made me doubt my relationship and wonder whether i wanted to be with him. deep down i know i love him but the voice in my head says otherwise, and it can leave you feeling really down. the anxiety can make me overthink everything in my life, it even makes me anxious about childhood memories. all i can say is you are not alone

Hi everyone hope you are all well. I've come across this forum after searching how I've been feeling and hope to find people in same situation as me. Where do i begin... Been with my partner 11 years 2 beautiful children. Loved him from day 1 and have always done so. Apart from usual couple arguments I have to say hand on heart he is amazing in every single way. I have never felt any different towards him up until around a month ago when I had this empty feeling towards him. "Do I love him am i in love with him" this has made NO sense what so ever cos I've never had any reason to ask myself that question. I ask myself daily what reason would I not want go be with him and I dont have 1 reason that makes me want to go apart from these thoughts I have. Only way I can describe how I feel is i feel unhappy with everything but have no valid reason why i feel this way I really do have the life I've always dreamed off. I've started a new job in mental health n think maybe its took a toll on me but no reason to feel like I do. like i love my partner and kids but dont feel like i do 😔. It's like devil in my head I'm battling with. I am waiting for CBT n gave medication but the thought of the side effects is causing me to try battle these intrusive thoughts alone

im glad I'm not alone but not sure how much more I can cope thinking like this. I couldnt imagine my life without him. No1 will ever be him he is amazing but I feel so guilty for feeling this way. Any advice help or support would be appreciated